Mel001 Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 I finally met a guy that I like a lot and I can think myself being with him. He really likes me a lot and we have being dating for two months, it's turning serious now, we make plans for the future and everything seems great...except one thing... I have always had a high and healthy self esteem of what I can do, how good I am at some stuff and I have always received the best compliments about my abilities in whatever I do from friends, family and people that I hardly know. I'm an engineer that has now decided to study classical music at the university. I'm 29 and it's normal that it's difficult to compete with all the prodigy musicians out there. But I was confident in myself and how good I am, really happy and driven, until I met him...He is an extremely talented cellist and he has this habit of praising the "worlds-classed" musicians and pianists, he has as a reference point the ultimate perfection. And as a result of this, I have still NEVER played piano for him, even though my happiness and passion IS piano and playing for others. Because I simply don't dare doing it, because I feel that he will think that I'm crap. This whole thing has turned in such a way within me that I start being sceptical about my abilities, and about me as a person, wheather I deseve him and also whether he finds a more talented woman in the future that will amaze him with her musical abilities and talent. I feel that in what I LOVE doing he's extremely good and I just can't express my passion enough for him which in turn cuts off lots of my "delightness" in my personality. I feel that people will in the future refer to us as Thomas and his girlfriend. And not as Thomas and Melinda. I feel that I just can't amaze him as I am used to do with other people. What I love doing is music. And everyone associated me with music, the engineer that became a musican. Now all this is crap and suddenly I'm nothing but a poor music student that has very little chances to go through to the uni. I don't know how to overcome this feeling and what to do in order to come up to his level (or feel that I come up to his level). I'm afraid that sometimes the thought of ending it all can feel a bit like the end of something stressful. I was so used to being with friends that saw my talent the whole time, and now this is completely new to me and I feel lots of stress and that I'm not worth much as an individual compared to him. That he will lose interest in me at some point just because he's so far much better than me in the same thing which is our passion for both of us. Anyone that has any advice on how to deal with these feelings?
Nexus One Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 He has never heard you play the piano, yet he's been dating you for 2 months, so I doubt that that will be the benchmark for him regarding whether he wants to be with you or not. To be honest you worry too much, only a horrible person would cast a partner aside for not playing a piano perfectly enough. I understand you want to impress him and impressing a perfectionist is very hard to do, but if he's a perfectionist and he's dating YOU, then well I think that says more than your piano skills will.
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