Questionable1 Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 A few days ago, my boyfriend and I somehow got onto the topic of discussing the physical characteristics of some of our exes. He told me that all of his girlfriends seemed to resemble his very first girlfriend. She was a marathon runner so she was super skinny and also very tan with dark hair. I joked by saying that he's short of luck this time around because I'm very pale. He laughed and said that I look nothing like her. Now I've been thinking about it for the past few days and I'm beginning to feel bad for myself. Yes, he's correct: I don't look anything like her. I'm a pale redhead. I'm athletic, in good shape, and I'm not close to being overweight (BMI of 22). But ****, I'm not nearly as skinny and athletic as his past girlfriends. I'm concerned that since he dated girls that were so similar in the past and I'm clearly the oddball, this relationship is already doomed. Are my fears valid? Any opinions?
Jazzari Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Consider that all his past relationships failed. Maybe he wants someone different for a good reason.
Nexus One Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 (edited) Pale redheads can be hot. To be honest I find the body type of most female marathon runners not very attractive. Here's an example of what I think is overdone: http://tinyurl.com/4uwkj4b And here's an example of what I still find reasonable in terms of attractiveness: http://tinyurl.com/4f49on9 Why is the first one overdone? Well you can see nearly every muscle fiber, which in my opinion is not very attractive. The second one has a smoother muscles where you don't see the actual fibers. I'll dare to say that most men do not like (overly) muscular women, simply because at a certain point it hardly looks feminine anymore. So if as a woman you DO workout, then make sure you don't overdo it. Edited February 19, 2011 by Nexus One
zengirl Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 As long as the topic came up organically, I see no issues. Don't take his past choices as a criticism of you. A guy doesn't make a girl his GF who he doesn't think is good-looking. It just doesn't happen. Men are generally attracted to looks first. This guy liked your looks, then he liked the actual you, then he wanted to be your BF. Don't worry about this non-issue. Just enjoy your relationship and be happy.
Citizen Erased Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 People change. And maybe he's tired of going for replicas of his past gf's. Regardless, he chose YOU.
threebyfate Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 My opinion would be that comparing yourself to anyone in the past is a waste of time. It will only aggravate any latent or recurring insecurities and insecurities can be self-perpetuating libido and relationship killers. Let's turn this around so you can see how silly this might be. Some guys have insecurities about the size of their penises or how good a lover they are as compared to exes. Comparisons in general are a waste of time and emotion. If someone is doing a comparison on you, it means they're still hung up on their ex and if that's the case, it's time to say goodbye until they've fully moved on.
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