Struggling

[D78]

NC is very hard, but it's worth it.

 

I didn't want to jinx myself so I didn't mention it before, but as of today, I completed 30 days of true NC. I haven't FB snooped, driven by his new place, called him, emailed him, etc. I shop late at night and go to the post office early in the morning, so I have avoided the accidental run in.

 

I was released from the team Nov 14, but we lived together for a long time so there was a lot of LC during the moving out process.

 

I'm sure all of the LC helped, but I think the 30 days NC has helped me immensely. I don't miss him. I actually don't think of him most days. For the most part, I've stopped talking about him. It's such a great feeling. I hope crazy can leave you alone for long enough that you can feel it, too!

 

Can you block her number? She's really taking the game playing to a whole new level.

[scott123]

30 days of true NC is amazing. When I get to that point I'm gonna feel real good. My FB snooping was great until lately where I've kind of been lured back into it. I have to stop that again. FB causes no good things at times like this.

 

I do similar things, I'll walk the long way to class to make sure I avoid her, or stay at home and do work instead of being at the library some days. It helps a lot not to see her face.

 

I hope I can get to that point where I don't think about her everyday. I can't imagine how much better my life would be.

 

I don't think I can block her number. I don't really know much about cell phone companies and which ones allow that and which don't. As far as I know mine doesn't. I can change my number if I can put some money aside for it, I'm thinking I may have to do that.

 

It's hard being strong and being the one to ignore her when she's saying her life sucks without me yet she isn't willing to do anything about it. It's tough for me to have those thoughts going through my head. So maybe a new number might help.

Edited February 27, 2011 by scott123

[Sugarkane]

Well I'm glad I'm not alone! My whole life I've had those sarcastic "Shut up Scott, you're being too loud" every 2 minutes by people I knew and people I didn't know and then them following it up by laughing. Not so much today but still from time to time.

 

I'm not a mute by no means. I speak up when I need to. I just don't feel the need to blabber all the time. It doesn't hold me back any. I still go and do 1 and 2 hour presentations for school and do well on them. I still get jobs that are competitive and people-focused. I'm fortunate to have a lot of people who like me, I don't have any real enemies and I have always gotten attention from girls. I'm only 22 so I'm still hoping I'll grow out of it more. But when people label you as "quiet" sometimes you just get fed up with it and stay quiet, even though you'd like to change it.

QUOTE]

I'm also the same. If I talk to someone about something I'm passionate about, I could talk about it for hours! But if there's also a loud mouth in the group, it can be difficult to get anything in.

[Sugarkane]

Scott

 

I also just got out of a long relationship with a very selfish person.

So many similarities with my ex and yours. The only difference being mine never really degraded me I guess. But she is now running around trashing our relationship that lasted over 7 years. How can people listen and believe when she was "sooooo happy" all those years. Now she says she has "realized" so many problems since we split. You know what, I have too. She's a piece of ****. She never owned up to any mistakes. When we would argue, I would always be the bigger person and try to resolve the issue and start the peace talks. I could go on, but this isn't about her.

 

I know for certain my ex had issues with her self worth. She always felt like she couldn't measure up to me. That lasted until she got her new job and now I am not good enough. How quick the tables turn.

 

Move on bro. Don't be there to catch her when she falls.

 

I also found myself becoming more and more quiet as our relationship wore on.

My ex did EXACTLY the same thing to me. He is selfish to the extreme.

[IM5150]

Wow Scott,

 

I read all your posts from this thread and your x-GF sounds alot like mine. Very selfish. My problem is that Im having a big struggle going NC with her. I tried twice already and told her that I needed time to myself and a few days later she would contact me and I would give and and hang out with her again. I feel very weak and vulnerable around her. She's the one person in the entire world right now that has control over my emotions and it sucks.

 

My x is selfish, disrespectful, dishonest, untrustworthy, etc and for some reason I keep coming back to her. You mentioned something about you never feeling like you ever really HAD her, I feel the same way after 3 years in our relationship.

 

I admire your strength to go NC with her and I hope that soon I can do the same thing. I just can't fathom the thought of not ever talking to her again since the most exciting, not always the happiest, years of my life were spent with her.

[scott123]

IM5150,

 

I'm finding it hard to go NC too. I haven't seen her in nearly 2 weeks, but it hasn't stopped her from texting me. I know what you mean about you feeling like you're vulnerable around her. I feel the exact same. I just keep telling myself not to do things on her terms. I've done things on her terms the entire relationship, so yesterday when she texted me asking me to go visit her at work I said no, when she asked to see me last week I said no. One of those times she expected me to drive an hour and a half to see her, on her terms of course. And of course the other time she wanted me to go and talk to her at her work which I wasn't comfortable with.

 

Since then she has had spare time and hasn't tried to see me.

 

The stuff you're describing is exactly the way I'm feeling. With her trying to contact me all the time it's hard to stay NC. On top of that, I agree that although our relationship didn't always make me happy I had a ton of exciting times with her, and travelled around the world with her. The thought of not seeing her ever again or talking to her ever again kills me too.

 

Above all of that though I have to keep looking at her actions. She treated me badly with certain things in our relationship, things needed to be her way. She keeps texting me saying her life sucks without me, yet she won't do anything about it, because she feels like she's the one who should always be fought for. She'll also text me and remind me how "good" I had it while being with her. She'll text me and say she shouldn't be hung up on me because she deserves better but she still is.

 

So, I just keep telling myself over and over these things:

 

1) She never did care about how you felt about anything, she'd make sure she did the things she wanted when she wanted, and if I didn't like that well too bad for me.

 

2) She's saying she's fighting for me, upset that we're broke up and staying broke up, yet still won't say anything positive about me or do anything to show she's interested. Her idea of showing she's interested is texting me all the time the same way any other of my friends would. She doesn't say anything to me that a friend wouldn't say.

 

3) She keeps reminding me how "good" I had it, yet never talks about how I added to her life any. Makes it sound like I was lucky to ever have her and I'm a piece of ****. When I tell her she's not willing to change anything for us to ever work, she just ignores it.

 

4) If I give in and "chase" her, it'll only give her an ego boost, make her feel even more desirable, and we'll still always have the same problems because she'd rather ignore them than work through them.

 

 

There's really no point for me to do anything. Yes, my mind keeps reminding me of all the exciting times, but what's the point? Theywere good times while they lasted, but there must be someone in the world who cares about how I feel and isn't just going to call me psycho, insecure, jealous, crazy etc anytime I have a reason to speak up about something and she doesn't want to take any responsibility. She grinds on guys at the bar when I'm studying for a big test, I get mad, she calls me jealous/insecure/psycho. Guy sends her FB messages saying he wants to date her while knowing she has a boyfriend, she doesn't respond. He asks her to dance at the bar, she agrees, so I casually go up and get her away from him without making it look too obvious (went and bought her a drink) and she called me psycho and jealous. List goes on in that department.

 

All of the other couples I know always seemed to have a deeper connection than we did. The girls didn't party asmuch as she did, they didn't need all this attention from other guys, they didn't put down their boyfriends like she does to me. theyjust seemed more into their boyfriends than my ex did with me.

 

Good luck to you hopefully we'll both be able to keep up NC.

Edited February 27, 2011 by scott123

[scott123]

Well I haven't changed my number yet and she's still sending me messages.

 

"You don't know how good you had it with me, you should feel lucky"

 

"A million guys would have killed to be in your shoes"

 

"I told you I felt the spark was gone and told you we seemed like friends to see how you'd react, to see if you would be up for the challenge of making me feel wanted and desired, obviously you never did care enough about me and I deserve more than that"

 

..Just so everyone knows, she was really ill for a long time and I made sure I was there for her, we couldn't have sex or anything obviously during this time and as soon as she got better she told me we seemed like friends, that the spark was gone, etc. Eventually I got tired of being told I don't care enough, and I felt neglected and unappreciated. I felt like she gave me no choice but to end the relationship, although in her mind she says it was just a "challenge". She took it that since I ended it that I don't care about her. I was just tired of being constantly accused of not caring about her when my actions always showed I did and hers didn't. Anyway.. it was a weird break up that went both ways. I didn't want to end it and I'm still struggling obviously but she cornered me to push it.

 

 

Then kept sending me texts saying how she deserves more than what I ever gave her in the relationship.

 

It took a lot for me to not write back. Anyone who knows me knows I care about the girls I'm in a relationship with and I make sure I keep them happy.

 

My mind tells me this: She obviously looks down on me and thinks she's perfect. She constantly lists all the things wrong with me, scrutinizing everything. How would this ever make me want to fight for her anyway?

 

I still don't understand her logic. But oh well. I'll keep resisting the urge to contact. I don't think relationships should be about challenging each other in these ways though. I'm only 22, I've got a lot to learn, but still. She named 50,000 things about me that she didn't like, all minor things and then kept accusing me over and over of not caring about her, so I guess I kind of gave up. Self fulfilling prophecy maybe.

 

Bed time, tomorrows another day.

Edited February 28, 2011 by scott123

[scott123]

Just a question in general... I know I'm getting a little sidetracked again here.

 

For instances like mine where I didn't cheat, I was loyal to her in every which way, THOUGHT I treated her good, and actually fought for her for 2-3 weeks while we weren't broken up but she told me she was losing interest/deserved and wanted more. I don't even know how to ask my question.. what MORE could she have wanted? Why accuse me of not caring STILL. YEt expecting this to motivate me to buy her flowers or a diamond ring or something.

 

Isn't this about give and take? If you bust your balls for someone you expect them to give back. Even when I did fight for her and killed my self esteem she still didn't give back.

 

Also I was always told to be independent when apart and make her feel loved when together. I definitely did that. Before we broke up she kept blowing me off for weeks saying I was only trying because she asked me to.

 

Is this an insecurity on behalf of her part? Does she think she's a gift from god?

 

It confuses me as hell because she was never one to want to be tied down. She always preferred being with her friends, and doing things in group and not having much alone time with me. It was always that way. She's a social butterfly who always digged attention from other guys. I don't know how she could have wanted MORE than what I gave her.

 

It's a bit sidetracked I know, but I can't seem to come to peace with myself and it's driving me nuts!!!!!

 

Sent me a saucy text this morning telling me off for not going to class because she knows where I park usually. My class was cancelled, it's just sad because she wouldn't have sent a text otherwise. Also made a saucy remark about me potentially going away this summer to work, she must have heard this from a mutual friend.

 

I need help here I'm in shambles again. Her birthday is tomorrow which isn't helping any.

Edited February 28, 2011 by scott123

[Chi townD]

Okay, first off, she is REALLY immature. And I can't bash on that too much because...hey..it's college. However, you can be immature and still have a level of personal responsibilty. For instance, seeing a pic of her grinding on a guy? She knew that she was in a relationship and she's also knew she shouldn't be doing that. Do you think she would have done that if she knew you were there? I think not.

 

You have to go NC. I mean COMPLETE NC!!! She can texted you until the cows come home, don't respond. And her setting up the ground rules on how and when to get her stuff? YOU OWE HER NOTHING! Find one of her friends and give her stuff to her.

 

I wish I could claim this analogy, but it was posted by someone else and I think it's great. She's out partying and having a great time and the reason she's texting you and calling you is because she's pulling on the leash to make sure the dog is still there.

 

The only text I would respond to is if she texted me to see what I ate. I would take great pleasure in telling her that " I just ate two bacon chilli cheese dogs" and never contact her again! :-)

[scott123]

Okay, first off, she is REALLY immature. And I can't bash on that too much because...hey..it's college. However, you can be immature and still have a level of personal responsibilty. For instance, seeing a pic of her grinding on a guy? She knew that she was in a relationship and she's also knew she shouldn't be doing that. Do you think she would have done that if she knew you were there? I think not.

 

You have to go NC. I mean COMPLETE NC!!! She can texted you until the cows come home, don't respond. And her setting up the ground rules on how and when to get her stuff? YOU OWE HER NOTHING! Find one of her friends and give her stuff to her.

 

I wish I could claim this analogy, but it was posted by someone else and I think it's great. She's out partying and having a great time and the reason she's texting you and calling you is because she's pulling on the leash to make sure the dog is still there.

 

The only text I would respond to is if she texted me to see what I ate. I would take great pleasure in telling her that " I just ate two bacon chilli cheese dogs" and never contact her again! :-)

 

Yeah I don't blame her at all for being immature either. I'm sure I'm immature too in ways. But yeah she doesn't have any respect for the relationship, hence why she puts herself in stupid situations but doesn't care because aslong as it makes her happy then its OK. She wouldn't have done that if I was there. Same thing with her ex of 3 years. When his girlfriend is at the bar with him my ex won't even go near him. Yet, when his girlfriend is not around she'll go up to him for a chat. Doesn't make me feel good.

 

I know I don't owe her anything. I feel like I do as I explained in the post above. I don't know why I feel this way but I do. When someone questions my effort throughout an entire relationship I do feel crappy. I am having such a hard time getting over that, being constantly told everrrryday that she deserves better than me. Thanks for your advice though, I definitely will say that if she texts me and asks me what I ate.

 

She texted me again today and told me she has feelings for me and that I could "have her" if I just put some "effort" in. Then she left me another message after I didn't reply, saying I could go to her birthday party on Friday and get drunk. Don't know why she wants me there. But I won't be going. She only wants to see me in groups.

 

I have to get back on track :/

 

Any more feedback is appreciated especially to my last posting.

Edited March 1, 2011 by scott123

[Chi townD]

If YOU put some effort into it? Really?

 

Dude, I just re-read your first post and it sounds like she's wants to shape you in the type of boyfriend SHE wants. You state that you were loyal and attentive to her needs and she still treated you like garbage.

 

It sounds like you didn't fail the relationship, she did. A relationship is a partnership with give and take; making comprises. She didn't bend and expected you to change at a moments notice. Sorry, people aren't wired that way. You stated that while she was away, she neglected your relationship? How exactly? Did she act like she was single?

 

Regardless, no one wants to be walking on eggshells in a relationship. I would stay NC, and good for you for not going to that party. Instead, send her a birthday card with a gift certificate for those bacon chilli cheese dogs....okay, I'm vendictive.....

[scott123]

First of all I am dying at the chilli dog references, lol, because she is a vegetarian so you are giving me a laugh during these confusing times, thanks for that.

 

Well looking back I still wouldn't have changed anything that I did. And you're right there was no give and take.

 

While she was away she totally neglected our relationship. All I wanted to do was keep in touch while she was gone and you know maybe a "I miss you" and just something to make me think we were still together. I didn't get any kind of "miss you" or anything while she was gone away. I felt single and in my eyes she was acing single. At one point I didn't hear a word from her for 2 weeks.

 

She would text me saying she was drunk and lost her bra and can't remember what happened and stuff like that every couple of days. Made me feel like crap. So I got annoyed and started getting angry with her and then she ignored me completely until she got home, then didn't want to see me when she got home either. She said I was being too selfish and not giving her space while she was gone. I didn't nag her at all or call her or anything, I told her to call me or text me when she could. Anyway about 5 months after this happened she eventually apologized, but said she can't help how she acts when she goes away and that she misses me but doesn't show it and that's just the way she is and I'd have to settle for that.

 

Even after knowing how much it bothered me that she went away to that place she's going there again in a couple of months. Shows her selfishness. I could see if it put her in a better position for the future but it really doesn't benefit her in any way other than she can use the excuse that she's going there for "school" but focus more on getting drunk and meeting people. She was so distant that I was fighting the thoughts I was having that maybe she met someone else over there. She even tried to extend her stay when she was supposed to come home and attend a family event with me. She ended up coming home on time but I don't think it was for me.

 

Thanks, you're right, when basically all she does is trash me as a person and as a boyfriend I always did feel like I was walking on eggshells. I could never relax and just take it easy every once in a while. ALthough she can't see that. And thanks for agreeing that I shouldn't go to the party. I don't know why she would even want me there.

Edited March 1, 2011 by scott123

[Sugarkane]

Your ex reminds me of mine. We should set them up together! They are both immature, cruel and extremely selfish

[scott123]

Sounds good to me. It was her birthday today and I bumped into her in the hall and she just had to rub it in my face that she got money for her birthday for the Tahiti trip we were supposed to be going on that she's still going on.

 

Ugh.

 

If I wasn't done my degree next month I don't know what I'd do.

[Chi townD]

So what....she got money to go on the trip so she can act like an immature little.....you know what...THEN, she can use the remaining money to see the doctor to treat her for the gonasyphilherpalyis she's gonna contract while she was there....Not your problem. Avoid the plague.

[scott123]

Thanks for the continued support guys! And thanks for following up on my sometimes redundant posts. I'm just going to keep posting here anytime I'm angry or have excessive thoughts about her, because this site really clears my head in some strange way. I hope karma comes back to bite her in the ass one of these days though. I have been trying not to smack talk her or anything in real life to people I know during this time, but damn she makes me angry.

[Chi townD]

A woman making a guy angry? NEVER! LMAO!!! Look, no reason to get all up in a huff about this girl, and she's acting just like a little girl. Don't do anything stupid. Just avoid her and try not to get angry. It takes too much energy to get angry and she's not worth it.

[scott123]

Yeah I know. No reason for me to believe her stupid ***** either about "needing me"and all that crap. Didn't even attempt to include me on anything to do with her birthday, not that I would have accepted anyway, but clearly her actions do not match her words. But I'm no longer going to feel guilty about not messaging her back and things like that, or avoiding her.

 

Also no longer going to feel guilty about what I could have done or should have done. All this time I've been beating myself up wondering what I did wrong - why she accused me of not trying hard enough and things like that. Not worth my time. Way too much of my time is going into thinking about her and things like that instead of into my schoolwork and what I can be doing to improve MY self.

 

So instead of going to that stupid party she invited me to on Friday I have plans to get some wings and beers with people I know and a few new people that I don't know. This will be the first time that I've really gone out and had a few beers since all of this happened. I won't overdue it though, beacuse I know too many beers will make me either pissed or depressed.

 

You're right Chi town, I'm using way too much of my energy, energy that she isn't worth. I'm pretty positive she's been getting close to a guy at school anyway. While we started our rough patch she magically became friends with this guy who she said she used to hate. It wasn't long before she was trying to get placed in group work with him, and they started texting. He also talked to her about his girl problems, and they spend a ton of time together at school and drinking outside of school. This was all in a span of like 2-3 weeks.

 

Got to get back on track. Got to move forward and stop being played.

[scott123]

Still full of hatred and disgust, but still can't get her off my mind. Especially today. Not sure why but I wish she wasn't occupying my mind so much. I try to do things but everything I do makes me think of her. Even when I play sports, usually nothing else is on my mind besides what I'm doing then and there, but she keeps haunting my mind.

 

I think I'm missing who she used to be. Well, who she used to be is still who she is now, I guess. I guess I'm more missing the good times and not thinking about the red flags and bad times, which I should be.

 

Heck it's just still driving me nuts that she still hasn't backed off any. Still asking me to go for walks, etc. Then has the nerve to say "you don't want me bad enough. You just like the thought of me."

 

I'm almost positive that she is using these tactics to make herself feel better so she can feel better about pursuing another guy. But then on the other hand why is she still willing to see me?

 

Man I can't wait for these feelings to be gone.

[z00m25]

i read the OP i didnt read the comments. chances are shes met someone else and if she hasnt yet, she will with going out and partying all the time. Sounds exactly like my ex. Go NC make her miss you whatever happens will happen. I was head over heals for my ex and I did everything for her and just now am I getting over her it feels like. Took about 2 months time for me.

[scott123]

Thanks z00m for the reply I really believe she met someone else too because she always said she couldn't wait to live with me and I treated her so much better than anyone ever has and then turn it all around in an instant and say she deserves better, wants more, million guys would want to be in her shoes, etc. Also probably met 10 or so new guys since we broke up which I saw on fb her commenting on all their walls and stuff ever since then I had to stop looking at it all together.

 

I know she's always goign to the bar with single girls and she will find that new guy if she hasn't already then I'll look like a dummy for giving into all her breadcrumbs and mind games.

 

How long did you go out with your ex? I'll be ecstatic if I can get over her in 2 months.

[BrokenFool]

Scott - Having read your post , I cannot believe it

How can my ex and your ex be so alike - do you think they are cousins

At least you get the texts, it shows some care for you even if its minimal

I have heard nothing from her ( yes i have changed my mobile number) but if she wanted to she could get hold of me

but in all the previous 150 dumpings she never reached out to me once saying sorry i want you back or i made a mistake so i dont know why i was expecting it now

stay strong dude

show her its her loss not yours

kill her with kindness

[z00m25]

We dated for about 2 years, I just read your whole thread haha realized i had nothing better to do as im at work. I like you did everything for her and i'd say it was about 90% me maybe 10% her effort wise in the relationship. I paid for everything and we seemed happy for so long. She was the first girl I ever really talked to(years ago), so I think thats why i put so much into everything this time around, and honestly i dont have much of a relationship resume. I never felt that i was good enough for her but realize now how much I was.

 

I had keylogged my pc since i thought something was going on while she was here but never really checked into it until she left. Long story short i found out she cheated on me with someone out here.

 

i have 3 posts i made about everything if you have any interest

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t262150/

 

and

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t265271/

 

First one was my original post (i know its spaced horribly i was so depressed when i wrote it) and the second was like a month later. For me to heal i found reading other peoples storys helped because it helps you realize your not alone and this kinda thing happens all the time. Also search narcissistic personality disorder I'm sure my ex had that and you may find the same. There was a thread somewhere on here about it, really was eye opening. Its going to suck for a while tho dude thats no lie, but time really does heal all. I couldnt eat or sleep for the first 2 weeks but here i am now 2 months later, still hurting but i feel so much stronger. Best of luck to you man!

[scott123]

Hey man yeah I read through most of your posts too. Don't know if you still are but you mentioned you were on the shy side and I am the same way. Well I wouldn't consider myself shy but I'm quiet I don't mind being around people at all and am well liked. Anyway you also said your girlfriend was an attention seeker with 500 billion friends on Facebook. This sounds just like my ex. She is just one of those people who cares about what people think, a lot of times I would be at her house chilling on the couch with her parents while she looked at herself in the mirror for 2 hours and came out looking no different than when she went in. She obsesses over her looks and it was just like she always wanted attention and try to impress people. Always overdid it. It used to bother me because I thought she was naturally pretty and encouraged her not to wear make up and not to spend so much time at it.

 

I also feel like I put in way more effort than she did and did the backrub thing everytime I was with her as you described in your post. It was not uncommon for me to do it for 2 hours and get nothing in return and I think she just took me for granted in general or I wasn't enough of a challenge.

 

Yeah it's weird because she is one of those girls who is really really REALLY nice. A lot of people comment that she is too nice and that she seems fake. And she definitely is fake. She would never stand up for herself about anything unless I told her she should. ANd I was the only person she would ever blame anything on or take her anger out on. She was a complete bitch to me way more than she was to anyone else. But she uses this "niceness" and flirtyness combined with her good looks to attract a lot of attention. I don't know if she has that disorder but she has no feelings for me and never did care how I felt so I guess it's possible.

 

I know it's going to suck for a while for sure and some days I feel great but everyday so far there has been a point in the day where I get in a rut and I feel like crap. I eventually bounce back out of it but the swings definitely take a toll on me.

 

Sorry to hear about your situation man but I'm glad you found out exactly what was going on with her.. even though it was horrible atleast you found out what you were suspicious of. I am left hung out to dry.

 

You give me hope since you're doing much better and I hope I can reach that point soon man

[z00m25]

yes it sounds like we are basically in very similar situations. and i am shy i guess but its weird only at first to people i dont know. around all of my friends and people im warmed up to i never shut up. i hate making conversation with people i dont know, being in awkward situations, and def hate going out on dates where your forced to talk about nothing and just to talk so im def worried about finding someone else haha but since she left i have been putting alot more effort into talking to people ive never met at work and ive made a few new friends.

 

my situation sucks because i moved out of state with her so now im stuck here away from all of my friends and family out in the great state of ohio. one positive about dating her for so long made me realize how good i was to her and how much of a good boyfriend she always said i was up until the end. she had cheated on all of her past ex's and that should of been a red flag from the start, but i believed all of her **** about how i was the first guy she ever loved blah blah blah. she hasnt said anything to me since other than once to complain about how much i was coming home to see my friends a week after she left, and i got a happy bday text on sunday which i didnt respond. im really glad i found out her fb password or else id still probably be wondering why she did everything she did but it all makes sense now and im glad i saw it. shes since changed it and i have her blocked so shes pretty much dead to me haha. oh but she was the same way with being fake, and also her caring about what EVERYONE thought of her all the time. i told her who cares? im the only ones opinion that should matter, i never understood that. i could care less what people say about me, i know im awesome. and all her friends who turned on her and talked mad **** on her she was friends with the first day she was back home. she could never stand for anything and i think thats funny. another thing she would do was post a million statuses on fb and take tons of pics to upload to "make people jealous" of her life. i thought that was the stupidest thing ever (and not just of her, always the hotels we would go to, the places wed visit, and even the food we ate!).

 

but yeah man if i was you id start goin to the gym and start taking your frustrations out on yourself there it really helped me. and your def going to have good and bad days, for a while there she was always in the back of my mind and yesterday was honestly the first day i didnt think about her at all, but she was back in my mind a bit today im guessing since im exhausted from hardly sleeping, but i will never contact her again. had a phone interview today with verizon im hoping i get back home so i can finally move back and start hangin out with everyone i havent seen in like 2 years .

Edited March 4, 2011 by z00m25