brokenangel26 Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 i don't know what i am looking for or need at this point..but i will give it a try. after 5 years with my boyfriend we broke up ..it was a very rocky relationship i told myself so many times i am not gonna take this anymore...but i did i kept wanting him back...when u think ok..it can.t be worse it gets worse..for me at least. i used to belive i am a strong person nothing can put me down but he did.i have nothing left...i find myself not getting out of bed...the situation in my own house is so hard to bear that i break down all the time.i don.t know how to get out of this.sometimes i am scared because i am so down.i hate what he put me through.i wanted something so different for my life..
PowerOfOne Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Hey there, It sounds like this relationship has been draining. I've seen people in relationships like what yours sounds like stay because they were both too afraid of being alone. My brother and his GF are like that. They are both bad for each other. They aren't abusive or cheat or anything like that, but they are so co-dependant that they've lost touch with everyone around them for the sake of their unhealthy relationship. They've also been together for 5 odd years. At this point it sounds like you need some time to find yourself again. That was the biggest thing I took from your post. That you've forgotten who you are and the life you dreamed of living. I know it's daunting facing the world without this relationship which has sort of defined you for so long. But know this, in time you'll find yourself again and hit the world with a brighter outlook! But it will take time. Think of it as an investment in you. You take the next 6 months doing your thing. I don't really know your whole story so going NC is something you can decide is good for you or not. If this relationship is something you need to let go of and move forward NC is a great tool to do that. This board is a great outlet to vent and get encouragement if you need it.
imyuinny Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Ya like what PowerOfOne said, we don't really know what happened but I can understand what your going through. I've just got out of there myself a few weeks ago. The first month is the one that suddenly you feel half of you just died, the half of you that's alive is the one that is hurting and crying. It's OK to feel like that and from the guess of what you wrote, i used to belive i am a strong person nothing can put me down but he did.i have nothing left...i find myself not getting out of bed...the situation in my own house is so hard to bear that i break down all the time the relationship defined who you are. I know this is weird but just try and look in the mirror and tell yourself that 'You love yourself and you approve yourself' When I did that, I didn't know how much it meant to hear those words. Just keep repeating as long as you can in your head. Don't smash the mirror please, we don't want anyone getting hurt. *hugz*
PowerOfOne Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 ^ absolutely! Regaining your sense of self worth is a huge part of getting past a breakup. Never think that you're not good enough. It is just not true. I found that really hard to accept in the early stages. I was convinced that there was something wrong with me. That I was unloveable and that nobody would ever want to be with me again. I may still be single but I no longer beleive that to be true. I am proud of the kind guy i am and nuts to some silly little girl that bailed when the relationship shifted out of the honeymoon period. Her problem to take with her into her next relationship. You'll find that person you love again. But you have to want to find her! She's just buried under the mess of the last few years. Imyuinny gave great advice. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are a great person. Capable of loving deeply and committing to someone, capable of sticking it out. They are great qualities!!
Author brokenangel26 Posted February 19, 2011 Author Posted February 19, 2011 thanks so much for the advice...i know u are right but i can't have any alone time because we still live together the contract on the apt expires in june.i know i could move in with a friend but i don't want to live my house.and i am close to work where i live,i don't want to ruin my credit for him..i lost enough as it is..he doesn't wanna live because he doesn't have a job or money..so i ask myself...am i gonna start living my life starting june???? if i would start dating somebody he would go nuts ...not that i want u see somebody right now but sometimes i feel so so alone that i think i want to be with another guy.but i am so damaged that any normal guy would run away..i am just tired of this.
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