Does this colleague Like me like THAT or just like me...??? What say you?

[purplediamond]

Hi, I work in a school and there is a senior teacher i like whom I work with. I am an assistant teacher and will be leaving to teach full classes in 3 months.

 

This guy is about ten years older than me, and quite strict with the kids, whereas I am quite soft and kind. We have been given a small special needs group to work with, so are together with the kids a few hours a week. i don't know his marital status, but a colleague told me earlier in the year she things he is single.

 

I thought he was a bit cocky at first:rolleyes: and not my usual type, but, as the months have gone by and i've got to know him, i actually think that out of the class, he is a really nice person and i respect him a lot.

 

Something I feel has changed recently, and I'm not sure if it's ME or it HAS changed, or if he doesn't like me at all. Or likes me, but not like THAT. But i need to be careful as this man is on the same level as my line manager, and he takes work very seriously. If i tried to 'do' anything it could be seen as inappropriate. I don't care about 'work relationships' because I'm leaving anyway, i just don't want to make a fool of myself!

 

We are very different to each other (he teaches a scientific logical subject, i teach Art), he is very strict on the kids whereas i am a bit softer and more sympathetic towards them.

 

There are a few things that make me think he might like me, but equally, he could just be being friendly.

 

He often sounds enthusastic when he greets me, he'll say ' Hiya marie!' And smile and say 'how are you today?'

 

When we meet to talk about work, or if there is somebody else present, he will often go on to say 'So, how are you today, marie? or 'Hey how did it go yesterday with...' 'didn't you go on that course on friday?' once he turned around and said 'what brings you down this way then?' A lot of times if we see each other in the corridoor he will start a conversation.

 

Although we don't physically touch per se ( i don't think i would try and touch his arm or whatever and i'd certainly not hug him!) He seems quite comfortable in my personal space. We often sit next to each other, our arms might lightly brush when he is teaching or writing something to the kids in their book. Once we were sitting at a desk talking to our kids on the opposite side, and he leaned over to show the kids a textbook. His wrist lightly touched the top of my knee as i was sat next to him. he went to do something else, then again, as he showed the kids, his wrist touched my knee. We will often stand close to each other as we work. but this could be because we work within small spaces and us all around a table.

 

He has taken to saying 'Take care, see you/ speak to you soon.' when we end conversations.

 

He asks me questions about myself, and knows one or two basic things about me including stuff like where i was working before, my degree, but has never asked if i'm single or any really personal questions.

 

The body language is good. He faces me square on, give me full attention and will often stand 'with' me if we are talking in a three. Feet point towards me and good eye contact. but no real kind of flirting signs like touching arms or stuff like that.

 

We sometimes tease and take the mickey out of each other a bit about our shortcomings, which i enjoy. He can be sarcastic and it makes me laugh, but I need to be careful as this can sometimes come across as being cheeky.

 

The weird thing is, he always treats me with respect, consideration and nicely as he is a professonal, but i wonder if he genuinely likes me and respects me underneath, or sees me as somebody who is his subordinate, thinks i'm kind of funny, and just nice enough, etc, and thinks no more of it ever.

 

 

I am a bit ditzy around him (out of nerves!) sometimes he will kind of laugh and play dumb go 'uh? yeah.. erm, i don't know i didn't erm...' and i'll kind of sarcastically roll my eyes and say ' oh god! you don't know THAT!' and tut at him. Then i might a few minutes later ask him a question, and he'll cheekily jab 'oh, what, didn't you know THAT??' this kind of thing.

 

 

All of these things could be easily explained as being friendly though. Although a colleague told me today she barely knew him as he 'didn't mix' with people. i have started to feel myself defending him when people say anything about him, as i do kind of understand where he is coming from now i know him more. His classroom is a bit out on a limb and i think that in many ways this suits him, as he hates school politics and bitching and does not get involved with people and he's secure in himself not to need cliques. He takes work seriously and is strict on the kids, he wants the best and i often feel stupid as i am with him assisting in a subject that is not my own, so i sometimes feel a bit useless around him. At times he talks to me very formally and straight, then others he is very playful and fun. I am wondering if it appears as though he likes me and if so, in what ways could i express interest without being inappropriate?

 

thank you! x

[Nexus One]

I am wondering if it appears as though he likes me and if so, in what ways could i express interest without being inappropriate?

 

I find it too hard to conclude that he likes you in THAT way. The things you mentioned could very well be just friendliness. What you could do to show interest though in an appropriate way is to look at him at a moment there is actually no need for you to look at him and when he catches your glance, you smile. If he's a clueless and oblivious guy that will not necessarily get across the message, but if he's at least a little bit savvy about women, then he will at least start wondering if you MIGHT like him in THAT way.

 

I don't know how long you will be working there though. So that approach might be too slow for the time frame. If you're leaving soon, then you might even need to talk to him about it. First make sure he's single though!

[purplediamond]

I find it too hard to conclude that he likes you in THAT way. The things you mentioned could very well be just friendliness. What you could do to show interest though in an appropriate way is to look at him at a moment there is actually no need for you to look at him and when he catches your glance, you smile. If he's a clueless and oblivious guy that will not necessarily get across the message, but if he's at least a little bit savvy about women, then he will at least start wondering if you MIGHT like him in THAT way.

 

I don't know how long you will be working there though. So that approach might be too slow for the time frame. If you're leaving soon, then you might even need to talk to him about it. First make sure he's single though!

 

It's so ambiguous it could be either way, i agree. I don't know if he is single, but the other day a colleague of mine randomnly asked me if he was after i was talking about him. (nobody at work knows i fancy him) i said 'how should i know?' he said ' well you talk to him, you spend time with him, has he ever mentioned a wife? has it come up in conversation?' i said 'no.' and went red..