WindyCityGirl Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Me and my boyfriend of 5 years broke up in early January. No cheating. Just poor communication. Whenever we've had a spat I was the first one to contact him and mend the bridges. This time I have not done that. We met up about 3 weeks ago for coffee. Since then he's been texting small stuff every 4-5 days. "Have a nice week," "Stay warm," "Hope your safe," etc. I stopped responding last week but texted him on Monday when I found out he had the flu (his cousin told me). I also have the flu. He responded immediately and texted several times. He even called on Monday afternoon. I didn't return the call until Tuesday. Ironically when I called he said he was texting me at that same moment. We talked about being sick and that was it. I kinda got use to the attention but as I guessed, nothing the next day. He texted me yesterday and asked if I was feeling better. I replied "Yep, a lil better." He then responded "Good for you. Take care of yourself." I didn't respond back. Please help, I tried NC and it did work. I felt empowered and in control. Am I holding on? Or should I give the relationship some space? Honestly, why do you think he's still texting.
Trovador Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 You don't go quitting habits without some relapses, maybe the texts and calls after the break up are something else, but one shouldn't base his happiness (or lack of) on random contacts which, above all, don't say anything substantial... It's almost inhuman going cold turkey on someone close to us... my ex uses to contact me after a few hours or days of NC and I don't think it's because she wants come back or because her ego needs a little massage... put simply, she misses me, as I also do... even if there is something else, she is not saying... Anyway, a bit of space is good for both of you...
Author WindyCityGirl Posted February 19, 2011 Author Posted February 19, 2011 WOW!! Why didn't I see that?? You're exactly right, My happiness has become dependent on those infrequent texts. I could kick myself. So I'm back on the NC wagon, hopefully I'll be successful this time. THANKS!
Rose T Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 WindyCityGirl, your ex (sadly) has everything he wants right now. He doesn't have to be committed to you, but he's getting all the comfort and attention from you via your texts. That's so not cool! If he doesn't want you to be his girl, he doesn't deserve any of your caring! I know you like to hear from him too but you have to pull the rug out from under his feet now. Go NC. See how he really likes it when you're out of his life.
susanfollows Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 WindyCityGirl I've really got this feeling he's keeping you around just to possibly sleep with again while going out with other girls, honestly that's what he seems to be doing. Just enough to keep you around but not letting you entirely go free to date either.
Trovador Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 You asked what we thought about your ex texting you... It was 5 years together for pete's sake! It´s only natural that you two miss each other and want to communicate, even in something as impersonal as a txt message... But for your own good, don't take those messages as his way of telling you that he wants you back... I learnt it the hard way...
Author WindyCityGirl Posted February 19, 2011 Author Posted February 19, 2011 I appreciate each and every response. Sometimes its just too hard and painful to let go. He has everything right now, power, control. I have nothing. You guys have given me the push I needed to get out of this runt. Thank you so much
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