loveispainislove Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Hi all, I'm looking for tips to get back with my EX, Fill free to post suggestions here. My GF broke up with me 5 weeks ago, We dated for 1 year and a 1/2. We were the perfect couple, had same interests, hobbies, fun times, and always happy spending with each other. Untill our 1 and 1/2 anniverary dinner that was planned by her, I asked if she was happy being with me. She said Yes she is Happy, But...She said I am a great BF and she knows I am serious about us. But she said because i have 2 female roommates and many close female friends, she can not accept it, she has told me about this before, she is inscure and does not think she can be a good GF because of that. She said she needs space and will be willing to be friends. We had a long converstaion trying to work it out, i broke down, and of course nothing was solved. After that night, i text her a few days later and said "i agree with the break up, it was the best for both of us, something exciting happened, tell you another time, maybe someday we can be friends." She text back "glad you thot is thro, sry it had to end that way, hope you are well." After that we went no contact fo 30days, i contacted her the other day just see how she was. She did not answer, nor called back. Does she Need more space and time? Or does she Not even want to be friends? *The thing is if she was just any ex i dont care if we dont talk anymore, but she is my sister's best friend, we all grew up together and know our families very well. So it will be akward if she doesnt want to be friend and just ignore me. After researching the internet and reading LS, I have accepted that we are broken up and maybe we will not get back together. I will continue NC, I have been improving myself, going to the gym, hang out with friends, fixing my problems that caused the b/u, and also started casually dating others. All I want is some tips to help me get back my EX, I know ppl say NC works, But i want to know what i can do to improve the odds of us getting back and not just wait for faith/magically to happen. NC may not be best for me, know my EX she is not the type that will call back and beg to get back together even if she still has feelings for me. I just want to know how can i have her drop her guard and open a door for us to hangout, have a gd time, charm her, I want her to see that i am an improved, better person, and her to realize we are the best couple. It may take months, I just want an opportunity. I still love her very much. I will still be doing my thing, I believe we got together for a reason, and If we were meant to be we will be back together, and if we are not then I it just sad to see something great to end. thanks for taking the time to read this, fill free to comment.
Call Me Al Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 (edited) I dont think there is any tried and true method to winning an ex back, sadly. Ultimately, I think you just need to let go of the idea of it happening...and if it does, cross that bridge at that time. I find myself stuck in the "will she come back" stage currently, and its not where I want to be. Edited February 18, 2011 by Call Me Al
Layzie89 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I will still be doing my thing, I believe we got together for a reason, and If we were meant to be we will be back together, and if we are not then I it just sad to see something great to end. This pretty much sums up all you can do right now. Or, all you should be doing at least...You've gone NC, started working out, dating, and hanging out with friends which are all good things to be doing post b/u. As anyone here would tell you, the purpose of NC isn't to win your ex back by her magically beginning to miss you (although for many of us that is our intent, myself included), it's to give yourself the needed time to heal and grow after a breakup. YOU time. Time to focus on YOURSELF. I would hold onto the flowers, eat the chocolate and put down the pen for any love letter you're planning on writing. Stick to what you've been doing...my guess is she's most likely asked mutual friends how you're doing or have seen pictures of how good you're looking/doing post b/u and like you said...if it's meant to be she'll come back. My ex gf too is TOO full of pride and I can't imagine the day she's calling, begging for me back. I just can't picture it. But I'm staying strong, strict NC, staying positive. Stay up brother.
depplover_1980 Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 I would say if she ignored your contact then that is your answer. Go back to what you were doing and keep moving forwards. She had issues anyway if she was saying you weren't allowed girlfriends, so she'll need a good while to find herself.
rubyblue16 Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 having sort of the same issue myself =/ i broke with my ex and kinda regretted it since day one he asked how i was doing a few days after and wev'e not really spoken since then , we didnt make an exact rule of no contact , he said he wanted to keep in touch and stay friends , so i m staying strong leaving it until the day he contacts me , my thought is if he doesnt then he didnt care that much in the first place and i shall just move on to someone who does , its horrible i know wanting to talk to someone becoz u feel if ur not talking how can u possibly make anything better , but if uve ever heard ' u say it best when u say nothing at all ' itl help u understand that sometimes things are better left un said , chin up , all the best =]
Author loveispainislove Posted February 19, 2011 Author Posted February 19, 2011 Thanks all for your suggestions and support, Knowing that most ppl here are going through similar problems. I guess theres no real tip out there, Only way is to give her time to think things through, I still strongly believe that one day she will drop her guard and start opening up, Like call me al said, if it does happen then cross that bridge at that time. In the meantime, i should keep doing like what others suggested in LS: NC, work out, hang out with friends, date, improve oneself. May I suggest to those who want their ex back, Improve yourself to be a better person, find out what caused the b/u and fix it. Or else even if you had the chance to get you ex back, same problems will show up. thanks rubyblue16, depplover_1980, Layzie89, keep strong, i wish you guys the best, take care. if others have tips to improve the odds of getting ex back, fill free to post here.
Call Me Al Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Dont completely lose hope, but also dont put all your eggs in the "we must get back together" basket. I think the NC route will allow you to re-evaulate the relationship more honestly, too. Best of luck.
betterdeal Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 The most likely way to get her back and stay together is to not try and get her back, rather, be yourself, treat yourself and build your life back up without her. If at some point in the future your paths cross naturally you'll be in a much better position to decide whether or not you do want her back, or you might decide you aren't as well suited as you thought, or you might have found someone else by then. Don't worry about how to get her back. If it is meant to be it will be.
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