I want her back.

[jaywill281]

Hello to anyone who's willing to take the time to hear my story.

 

Here we go!!!!!

 

I left my home town 15 years ago and moved to another city and got married and had a son and now divorced 2 years... I started visiting my hometown more often. I soon would meet this girl back in my howntown who was 7 years younger than I am so I really didn't know her ghrowing up. We'll we both were attrected to each other at first sight and exchanged numbers so when I came back to the city we stayed in touch and she came to visit me and i would come home to see her often as i could. We got in a serious relationship and wanted marriage and kids the whole nine. I never met a woman like her before. I wanted to make any changes for this woman. My job in the city was closing and we really wanted to be together. She was a school teacher and really couldn't jump up and move to where I was so we decided I move back home for a while. I moved back home with my grandmother and she lived with her mother. We are into this relationship about 1.5 years now. I've always had my own place since I was 21 but she never left home. She is now 30 years old. Things started to get frustrating from this point. it was cool seeing each other on a daily basis, but me living at my grandmother's home and she home with her mother was getting frustrating. I couldn't find a job and that added more frustrations, but I was determine to make things happen for us so we could get our own place. I finally found a Job 7 months later and two weeks after working we had had this big fight due to a lot stress and frustations and she left my grandmother's house and we went a couple days without speaking and then she called and said she wanted to talk about what happend that night, but then later that night she said never mind because she want out of the relationship cause it was too stressfull. I wasn't used to living back at home with my folks and having no money to support her, but now it's been two months since she's been gone and every chance she gets she tells me she is not changing her mind about coming back to me. She don't want me to talk to anyone else. One day she acts like she wants to give me another chance but by the next day she changed her mind again. She say she still logve me and have feelings for me, but she dosent have the energy to get back with me. everytime we talk she always aguing and talking about all went wrong in the past. Sometime when I ask for be back she might she don't know, the other time she's saying it's over and she's not dealing with this anymore. Can somebody tell please whats going on? I really want to spend the rest of my life with this woman. I just want her back. Any advise?

[JasonRules]

Yes, I can definitely tell you what happened. Ready?

 

 

You met a woman whom you had a connection with, but unfortunately you jumped the gun and dove head first off the diving plank without first checking to see if there is water in the pool.

 

You changed your life entirely and placed yourself in a very bad situation financially, but also socially. I mean think about it; if she's 30 that would mean you're 37. How do you think it sounds to a woman that you're 37, unemployed, and living with your grandmother? Do you think women will be swarming all over you? Not that she's any better; I mean, a 30 year old woman still living with her mother is a major red flag.

 

In any case, you made the mistake of sacrificing your life for someone who had made no formal commitment to you (marriage, engagement etc). When you couldn't find a job, she lost respect for you. Do you know why? Because contrary to what she may told you or you may think, she never really loved you in the true sense. You see, if she did love you she would have stuck with you through thick and thin no matter what.

 

And now she's also revealing her selfish/bitchy side "I want my cake and I want to eat it too". What do you mean, she get's angry at you when you talk to others? Has she castrated your last sense of manhood?

 

She dumped you and you keep chasing after her like a wounded sick puppy, but you get tired and maybe look at others, but she reigns you in with a couple vocal commands? Dude...seriously...grow up and grow a pair. Actually make it a very big pair.

 

Do whatever you want, but if I were in your shoes this is what I would do:

 

 

1. Start looking for a job so I can move back to the city. Villages, hometowns, and small towns are for retirement, not for a 37 year old man with goals. Your grandmother isn't going to live forever, is she?

 

2. Avoid her at all costs. This woman is manipulative and she's manipulating you like no tomorrow. Man up and tell her to stop contacting you and frankly it's none of her business if you want to talk to anyone. Tell her you already have a mother and have no need for another one.

 

3. Get your life back in order and let this be a very hard earned lesson to you. Never make such great life changes for someone who is not committed to you in marriage.

[JasonRules]

P.S I just noticed the title of your post "I want her back". If you want that thing back in your life you deserve everything you get. Personally, I would run as fast as possible.

 

And yes, I'm being uber harsh in the hopes that you wake up!

[jaywill281]

Well I do understand what you are saying. She really tried to stick with me during my hard times I was just being an asswhole to her the whole frustrated without a job. I am now working and trying to do what i was trying to do the firdt time and that is to get my own place and save some money but in the meantime hoping she will change her mind and come back. I know I have done wrong in this relationship because I wanted us to be able to start a life together. This is really hard on me.

 

 

Yes, I can definitely tell you what happened. Ready?

 

 

You met a woman whom you had a connection with, but unfortunately you jumped the gun and dove head first off the diving plank without first checking to see if there is water in the pool.

 

You changed your life entirely and placed yourself in a very bad situation financially, but also socially. I mean think about it; if she's 30 that would mean you're 37. How do you think it sounds to a woman that you're 37, unemployed, and living with your grandmother? Do you think women will be swarming all over you? Not that she's any better; I mean, a 30 year old woman still living with her mother is a major red flag.

 

In any case, you made the mistake of sacrificing your life for someone who had made no formal commitment to you (marriage, engagement etc). When you couldn't find a job, she lost respect for you. Do you know why? Because contrary to what she may told you or you may think, she never really loved you in the true sense. You see, if she did love you she would have stuck with you through thick and thin no matter what.

 

And now she's also revealing her selfish/bitchy side "I want my cake and I want to eat it too". What do you mean, she get's angry at you when you talk to others? Has she castrated your last sense of manhood?

 

She dumped you and you keep chasing after her like a wounded sick puppy, but you get tired and maybe look at others, but she reigns you in with a couple vocal commands? Dude...seriously...grow up and grow a pair. Actually make it a very big pair.

 

Do whatever you want, but if I were in your shoes this is what I would do:

 

 

1. Start looking for a job so I can move back to the city. Villages, hometowns, and small towns are for retirement, not for a 37 year old man with goals. Your grandmother isn't going to live forever, is she?

 

2. Avoid her at all costs. This woman is manipulative and she's manipulating you like no tomorrow. Man up and tell her to stop contacting you and frankly it's none of her business if you want to talk to anyone. Tell her you already have a mother and have no need for another one.

 

3. Get your life back in order and let this be a very hard earned lesson to you. Never make such great life changes for someone who is not committed to you in marriage.

[JasonRules]

Stop blaming yourself and see her for what she is without any emotional glasses. I would just forget about her entirely. If she was supportive of you, I'd say try no contact, but I can't tell you to be with someone who is bad for you. I would just move on. She isn't the last woman on earth is she? Plenty of fish in the sea. Focus on yourself for the time being and cut her out of your life. Get yourself back up to how you were and then you'll be ready to meet the RIGHT WOMAN.