brokenheart311 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I don't post on here often but I read a lot. I think I need to start a limited NC diary. I say limited because my ex and I have a child together and I am pregnant with his twin boys currently. I have to speak to him occasionally so I can't just delete his number and not look back (as much as I want to). Quick re-cap of what has happened: January 9th my fiance at the time tells me that he can no longer be with me after almost 6 years. I'm 26 weeks pregnant with his twin boys at the time. This guy has 2 kids already from a previous relationship, a daughter with me, and now we are expecting two more. He has 5 kids in total... We decide to live together since I am pregnant and was only working part-time. Three days later a cousin of my makes a comment about my ex having a relationship with another girl. I ask my ex. He admits he is seeing someone but it certainly isn't the reason he is leaving, it isn't serious. Two weeks later, there is a big snow storm. I end up having to shovel myself out because he was too busy shoveling out his non-pregnant girlfriend. I get pissed, send him a text message telling him to "man up." He comes home that night and starts packing clothes saying he needs to spend a couple of days away from me. I tell him to not bother coming back. I basically kick him out. Brings me to today.... Day 40 (of break-up, not NC) - X sends text message to me at 4:48 a.m. asking about the ultrasound I had this week for the twins. I won't keep information pertaining to his kids from him (I don't want him to be able to hold anything against me later) so I respond with "fine. they are gaining weight." He responds with Awesome! Another day of him not mentioning our 4 year old daughter. He hasn't seen, talked to, or asked about her in two weeks at this point. I check out his new gf's fb page. For some reason I can actually see the wall now. Every other day he is posting about how much he loves her and she is the most amazing person he has ever met. Gag me. Clearly he meant the most amazingly stupid girl he has ever met. Oh did I mention that not only does he have 5 kids but she has two of her own that she has custody of? There are seriously 7 kids involved in this mess. He has custody of his two oldest kids from a previous relationship and the new gf has custody of her kids. All 6 of them are currently living in a 2 bedroom apartment.... Other than that, I feel fine today. I have no desire to talk with X. I have no desire to want to be with him. It hurts that he is somehow in love already with a girl he barely knows (he met her through work and he has only been with this company for two months). I feel replaced mainly but at the same time I do know this guy did me a favor. I'm a good girl who got mixed up with the bad boy thinking he would change. SURPRISE! They don't change... I had to learn the hard way and now with three kids. I'll post again tomorrow or maybe later, depending on what happens through the day.
silvermane187 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Wow, he sounds like a real dirtbag. Sorry for your situation.
Author brokenheart311 Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 (edited) Day 42- I'm just annoyed. I blocked x and his miss piggy look alike from FB. I have friends who decide to email me pictures that were posted. I DON'T CARE! I had to make several phone calls to tell friends that I just don't want to know anything about him. He made his choice, he will be the one that has to live with the consequences. I'm doing my best to raise our child and get through the last couple of weeks of the pregnancy. I don't have the time to worry about two people that clearly are not worried about my child or myself.... I have a friend who is pressuring me to let her send an email to the new gf. She wants to basically say "if he will walk out on his PREGNANT ex and not look back, what do you think he will do to you?" I don't need any drama so I keep telling this friend no. My issue is really not so much with the new gf but with x. Obviously the new gf just isn't a decent person if she is ok with him not being involved with our child(ren). She has kids of her own and knows what it is like to have a deadbeat dad around but she seems content with x being the same. Ultimately X is responsible for his own actions. I can't blame someone else for his crappy behavior. Edited February 20, 2011 by brokenheart311
Author brokenheart311 Posted February 21, 2011 Author Posted February 21, 2011 Day 43 - Last night I talked to X's twin sister. I don't know if I mentioned it but I have been friends with X and his sister since I was 2 years old. His sister was one of my best friends for years so I still talk with her. She really has nothing to say about the whole situation. She thinks her brother is a complete moron. According to the sister, he is talking about having kids with this girl. She is horrified and his family is going nuts because of it. They have all given up on him... The sister tells me that I'm the only person who has always had his back when the family wanted him to fall on his face to learn lessons. I told her he burnt the bridge with me and I can no longer defend someone who clearly hates me. She says he doesn't hate me, he does have feelings for me which is why he is completely avoiding me and our daughter. Our daughter looks like me, acts like me, and has the same attitude as me. He told his sister that he wants to see our daughter but apparently it hurts to look at her. (lies). The sister doesn't believe him either she was just stating what he told her. I'm having a rough day today though. I feel sad. I miss my friend, not the relationship. When we were kids he was the guy I always ran to if I had a problem or was hurting. I can't run to him anymore and that hurts more than anything else....
stopthemadness Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Hi, my ex was my friend too. Ya its sad and it hurts but we will be ok and learn to live without them. Sorry your having a rough day. I get those too. I smtimes call my sisters or a friend or i go on the chat line form here. Have you tryed it? I also go to church once a week. Hang in there.....good luck
Author brokenheart311 Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 Day 45 - Still in a funk today. I'm not sad but I'm not happy either. I'm still angry at him. I haven't heard from him since last Friday. That was when he sent the text about the ultrasound. I try to keep myself busy with our daughter or hanging out with friends. Recently the ex of my ex's new gf started texting each other. He is best friends with my cousins. Part of me says it's a bad idea to talk to the guy but part of me really thinks he is a sweetheart. My ex found out about it a couple weeks ago and flipped out. Posted crap all over FB (i blocked him so I didn't see it anyway) about how gross it was that I was dating his gf's ex. I had to explain several times I was dating no one. I'm 7 months pregnant with TWINS... come on now! Anyway, not much to report. Still trying to get to a point of indifference.
Author brokenheart311 Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 Day 46 - I'm sick so I was up half the night. I spent a lot of time kind of thinking through everything that has gone on. I have been not only angry at X and his gf but I have also been angry at his parents. I mean, they haven't asked about or seen our daughter either and they certainly haven't said anything about the pregnancy. I don't know why it dawned on me that maybe it's not that anyone is trying to be mean to me, maybe it really just is that I'm not even thought about. X's mother and I don't exactly see eye to eye but we have always been civil minus a few spats over the years. We were fine even after X and I split. I sent a text one day to her asking about some pictures, she responded. I asked her if she would like to spend time with her grandchild, no response and haven't heard a peep since. I don't understand. I mean, to me, if they have a problem with me, fine but don't take it out on an innocent 4 year old. When am I going to wake up one morning and just no longer care about any of these people?? I'm tired of hurting and being angry. Everyone else seems so happy... maybe I was the reason everyone was so miserable.
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