quietGuy13 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 This is just my thought. I'm not marrying now or anywhere near being able to. When people say they marry. it means going through court or church or whatever but I personally when i marry i just want to make a promise to my girlfriend to love her and do it without any papers or whatever. I'm not anywherer near marriage but really.. Look at all the divorces. It's like people take this legal marriage thing as a joke! I rather make agreements on my own with my girlfriend instead of signing papers etc. ANyone else who's doing the way i'm thinking or who agrees with me?
westrock Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I rather make agreements on my own with my girlfriend instead of signing papers etc. If it works for you then go for it. But, in the end what difference would it make? If you love her, and she would like to have it formalized then why not? Why are you afraid? People who don't formally marry (ie. live common law) also break up too. Divorce rates may be high, but I've read that people who live common law have an even higher break up rate.
just_some_guy Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 A fool's errand. Marriage, is above all other things, a legal business agreement. Know your partner, declare your assets and put it on paper. Honestly, love is not damaged by open, ethical and legal agreements. Refusing to accept this fact is a way of hiding your head in the sand.
carhill Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I rather make agreements on my own with my girlfriend instead of signing papers etc. You can certainly do that. However, certain papers will need to be signed, like birth certificates, house titles, loan applications, retirement accounts, life insurance policies, living wills, trusts, etc. etc. Disentangling oneself from a long non-commonlaw cohabitive relationship can be as or more difficult than a divorce, IMO. I've been through a divorce. It's not painless, but at least there are clear statutes and guidelines and procedures to follow. That's a good thing, since people in the throes of breaking up generally aren't the most rational and reasonable and amenable of partners. Give it (non-marriage) a shot while you're young and have plenty of time to recover. You never know.
Ms. Joolie Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 ahaha! I hear you! "Legal" and "paperwork" are both necessary evils. Maybe you are a free spirit like me and feel constrained by reality.
Duckduckgoose Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Not getting married because you are afraid of divorce is silly. Getting divorced because you are afraid of marriage is ****ed up. But people do both all the time.
zengirl Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 People who don't formally marry (ie. live common law) also break up too. Divorce rates may be high, but I've read that people who live common law have an even higher break up rate. This is true, and it's one of the reasons I wouldn't really want to cohabitate long-term before marriage. Also agree with carhill that disentangling from long-term cohabitation can be perhaps even more difficult than divorce. Though I think each couple should decide for themselves, anyway.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 I'll marry for love but it doesn't mean I'll happily divide my wealth should divorce arise in the future. Legality is legality, and if signing a pren-up is what's going to make my marriage a success, so be it.
Eeyore79 Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 When people say they marry. it means going through court or church or whatever but I personally when i marry i just want to make a promise to my girlfriend to love her and do it without any papers or whatever. I think most women would class that as not being married, and even as not making an actual commitment. I wouldn't settle for the arrangement you describe. If a guy wasn't willing to marry me legally, then he effectively isn't committed to me and I would eventually move on to a guy who wanted commitment.
PeachyPink Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Good luck with that! Most women don't care to be shack-up honeys forever.
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