Hote204 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Ive been writing on here for the last week and its really helped, its great to get a perspective on things. Anyhow, my ex was "crazy as batsh*t" as someone on here confirmed lol! He was aggresive but i was wondering - are these things he did to me considered "physical abuse": 1. We were play fighting and he randomly slapped me in the face. It made me cry and really took me aback and then he really started hugging me 2. Once we had a row in a elevator and my hand was on the lift number buttons. He punched the buttons and caught my fingers. I pulled my hand back in shock and he was completely unfazed by it 3. When i left him he restrained me on the floor (in like a policeman grip). He was just holding my arms by my side so i couldnt leave and i was wriggling all over the place 4. When we argue he came into my face once pressing his nose onto mine 5. When i try to leave he keeps me in the house and everytime i open the door he slammed it shut 6. Headbuts walls and turns over furniture when we argue 7. Kicked the footwell of my car when we were fighting 8. Threw his phone in my direction in an arguement 9. Hits himself when we fight and calls me rancid names sometimes I know its a long list but i cannot put my finger on "what he is?" Has he got anger problems? Abusive? He puts me down a lot (even the way i cook meatballs in not right lol!). Says i have fat legs while laughing. I mean, I'm not a girly girl and i dont understand why i dont see these things as being bad. I was bought up in a house of boys were scrapping was the norm. I also know i have a really screwed up attitude to relationships. I want to settle down...but i dont. I want a nice man..but i want someone with passion and who can "play the game" and be exciting. I am 30 years old and beginning to think i will never find what i want. And no, i dont think i'm co-dependant..i just like a man who can keep me excited. I dated a boy for 8 years but when we split, i realised i was bored with him. Being a "wifey" scares me to death. I run my own business and have tons of friends. I am just really lost right now and am beginning to wonder, should i just stay alone? The men i want who bring me excitement..also bring the heartache. My ex was constantly flirting with other women, was aggressive to boot, manipulating and sometimes cruel to me. But when i saw him, he had that look in his eyes..and i must have had it mine too. The one when you know you will never meet someone like that again (thats prob for the best) but you have shared something deep...and dangerous.
Gettingtired Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 He sounds a little dangerous and you need to be careful those headbutts and punching the wall etc. and throwing furniture around isn't replaced by headbutting, punching and throwing you around the house. Sorry to say you sound like a drama queen and thrive on all this "excitement".
Author Hote204 Posted February 18, 2011 Author Posted February 18, 2011 I disagree with you slightly! At no point did i like the excitement of watching someone you love hitting themself in the head! Nor did i like reading his flirty messages to other girls or being intimidated. what i am trying to say is that are some people just meant to be alone? In other ways our relationship was good. Exciting, passionate but it had a very dark side to it. Are the people out there that are exciting and passionate without being a head case? Perhaps the solo life is the way forward but we are human, we are designed to form bonds with other human beings. At what point do you become happy with your lot, even if you know the person you are with is not "perfect" for you?
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