angelboots Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 (edited) For those that dont know my story this is basically a follow on from this thread below: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t265266/ I spent all night last night talking things through with the ex, because I was still not sure how I felt about hes resurfacing and wanting a second chance, but I was leaning towards trying again, I always used to let him do the "bread crumb thing" while we were trying to patch things up in the past, but this time i kept putting him on the spot. Almost as though I was conducting a job interview lol I asked him if i was to give him a chance how would we make it work now we are in different states and both are students working multiple jobs and I am a full time mum to a girl with special needs... He replied that he would organise work in the nearest capital city to me (2 hour commute) during holidays and could see me when he wasn't busy with that... hmmmm.... I asked him how he has changed and what has changed for him to want me now... He replied that nothing has changed he has always wanted me he was just confused about stuff with hes ex.... then the conversation changed and he asked what I was thinking because i didn't reply for a while and this is what followed, Me : guess its because i had given up on you n now u r sorta back n its weird i feel conflicted. its all too weird him: its good Me: no its weird... how would u react if "betty the ex" came back tomorrow? him: nope she had her chance and wouldnt commit so im urs ME: so did u, with me and you left me to go back to her and it turns out she didnt want you um.. thats not a compliment lol HIM: yes it is lol ME: lmao wow. u make it sound like i should feel like a won the lottry or something because ur first choice had her chance but she didnt want it so now i get u HIM: its a good thing after that i pretty much felt sick told him i would sleep on stuff and logged out. very obviously he sees me as hes fall back girl and he doesn't even have the respect to realize I am not some pathetically desperate chick he can pick up and put down as he pleases. Weird coincidence also, i unblocked him on FB so he could message me from work because my cell had no range and all the conversations we ever had came up on my screen.. even though i had deleted them... and re reading them i can see hes game plan from start to finish in a way i hadn't before the break up and since i joined LS. So I am now officially permanently going NC on hes ass and he wont even know why but I dont care lol I have my closure and have reached acceptance and it feels amazing. I hope everyone here feels this soon Edited February 18, 2011 by angelboots
stopthemadness Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Good for you!!For not getting back with your ex. And about reaching acceptance, am right there with you..But am not gona lie, its hard and it still hurts smtimes. But you know what my ex was a train wreck, so i guess his new person can have the train wreck and his messed up kids. Which by the way I tryed to help. He never gave them rules..anyways, good for you. And when your healed your next person will be awesome....And so will mine....
Leandro Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Good job angel! Yea, he just sees you as his back up girl. Screw him. You'll be fine from now on.
cj2 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 him: nope she had her chance and wouldnt commit so im urs ME: so did u, with me and you left me to go back to her and it turns out she didnt want you um.. thats not a compliment lol HIM: yes it is lol Wow just who does this guy think he is, what a tool! As I said in a post a few days ago, he wanted you back because it suited his needs and as soon as you stopped meeting those needs you'd have been dumped again. You deserve better!
LostMyHeart Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Wow Angelboots - good for you!! I'm glad I came across your post because a huge revelation that I have needed to see just hit me like a ton of bricks. "Conflicted in silent screams!!"
Author angelboots Posted February 19, 2011 Author Posted February 19, 2011 thank you guys, yes i feel good. of course it still sucks.. but now the acceptance i have found is in the fact that the man i thought i loved... was a tool. He was great to me... when it fit he's needs and thats not love. Not true love. I am happy with my choice but for now I am just going to focus on the rest of my life. He still pops into my head but its easier to dismiss him now and of course I want to focus a little bit on rebuilding my self esteem which has been damaged a bit after all this nonsense. But I am grateful now that its a closed chapter in my life. Fingers crossed he takes the hint and goes away
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