fortyninethousand322 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I go to a predominately commuter school where the social life is kind of limited. It's a good school and I don't regret going there but I wish I would have known more about it going in so I could prepare myself a little more. For the first two years I had few friends aside from people who I knew from high school and I pretty much went to school and went home everyday. I have now made a lot more friends and rarely go home right after class is over. But, those two years of essentially being a hermit have left me pretty much clueless when it comes to girls. I mean literally clueless, a 13 year old kid knows more than I do (I'm 23). There are no girls in my social group aside from my friends' girlfriends. I go on a date about once every 8 months or so and I'd like to change this, and eventually actually get a girlfriend. Now to the actual question: I am attracted to smart girls but not smart in the sort of math/computer/video game geek way, more the social sciences type of smart (I'll admit, a rousing debate/discussion about the rise and fall of the Ottoman Empire is actually interesting to me). At first, I thought maybe finding girls in my classes would be good but that really hasn't worked out (a surprising number of girls in my classes are married or engaged). I mean do I just go and hang out in the bookstore history section for hours on end until I find someone interesting? Or the library? Do I even have time to devote to searching like this? And please, no one suggest that I try online dating. Tried it. Didn't work.
january2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 What about debates and lectures? In the UK, quite a few universities and professional organisations have lecture series that are open to the general public. Usually they're free but sometimes there's a small fee involved. Presumably similar events are run in the US. Otherwise, you might consider an evening/adult ed class in a subject where you might find the kind of girl you're looking for. It's also worth considering that just because your immediate social circle doesn't include anyone who is available, their social circle might include someone who is. Therefore, making friends with people in your classes might not be such a bad idea to widen your reach. Also check the Meetup website for relevant groups - if there isn't one of interest in your area, you could start one.
GivenUp0083 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 (edited) I go to a predominately commuter school where the social life is kind of limited. It's a good school and I don't regret going there but I wish I would have known more about it going in so I could prepare myself a little more. For the first two years I had few friends aside from people who I knew from high school and I pretty much went to school and went home everyday. I have now made a lot more friends and rarely go home right after class is over. But, those two years of essentially being a hermit have left me pretty much clueless when it comes to girls. I mean literally clueless, a 13 year old kid knows more than I do (I'm 23). There are no girls in my social group aside from my friends' girlfriends. I go on a date about once every 8 months or so and I'd like to change this, and eventually actually get a girlfriend. Now to the actual question: I am attracted to smart girls but not smart in the sort of math/computer/video game geek way, more the social sciences type of smart (I'll admit, a rousing debate/discussion about the rise and fall of the Ottoman Empire is actually interesting to me). At first, I thought maybe finding girls in my classes would be good but that really hasn't worked out (a surprising number of girls in my classes are married or engaged). I mean do I just go and hang out in the bookstore history section for hours on end until I find someone interesting? Or the library? Do I even have time to devote to searching like this? And please, no one suggest that I try online dating. Tried it. Didn't work. Trying to hit on girls at the library or bookstore could be tricky. Typically these women are focused on something else at the time, and I've found if you catch women off guard sometimes with your "attempts" then they may reject you simply because of the situation, eventhough they may have dated you if you asked in a different situation. As for girls in your classes. Try to find which ones ARENT married (this is tough, but check their left hand ring finger). Then ask them if they want to start a study group. Maybe get other people in on it, or just study just the two of you. Get a table at the library, or one of those rooms, and discuss topics. See if there's chemistry. Try to be a little goofy and get her to laugh. See what happens from there. Or, you can try the same thing with the married girls, but get all of them together in one study group, then show them how cool of a guy you are and they just might wonder if you're single, then suggest "hey, I know a cute single friend you should meet sometime." Married chicks are always looking to play matchmaker. As for online dating, it's not a solution. It's an avenue of opportunity to meet women you'd normally never cross paths with. I would've NEVER met my gf any other way if I hadn't found her thru online dating and I'm glad I did because she's perfect for me. Took me a year and a half of dating online, but I was on and off with my profile and I used other methods of dating women as well. I went thru some bad dates, some really good dates that didn't end up going anywhere, and met some girls I ended up just being friends with. But I finally found a girl that was perfect for me and I can't imagine what life would be like without her. Edited February 18, 2011 by GivenUp0083
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