9Lives Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I'm getting frustrated. Does anyone want to get to know each other a little bit before we screw? I mean really!!!! I'm down for sex and all but getting to know someone would be nice to start with for a change. I just think that's the way it is now. Really disappointing!!! I really don't get it.
nwsingleguy Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 how soon is too soon? Have you thought about throwing it out there that you take your time to get to know a guy before getting physical? Where are you meeting these guys? I know that I have had one night stands but have also dated girls for over a month before doing anything beyond kissing. I think a lot of guys have no problem waiting for a girl that they feel connected to.
Author 9Lives Posted February 18, 2011 Author Posted February 18, 2011 so should guys bring up sex in the first conversation? Im good with waiting about a month and a half if we are seeing each other regularly. I dont do one night stands. it just a trip!
nwsingleguy Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 No, guys should never bring up sex right away. If they do...run! I'm a guy that has had quite a few one night stands (not extremely proud of that) but in most of those cases it just happened. If I am dating a girl, I don't even joke around about sex until we have gone on 3 or 4 dates. I would suggest taking a look at where you are meeting these guys. If you are meeting lots of guys that talk about sex right away, you need to make some changes on the venues that you are meeting these guys.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Never talk about sex as a first date topic. But you can talk about what your expectations for a date is- long-term, short-term, serious, non-serious. etc. Serious relationships usually imply that you're not doing ONS. Action speaks louder than words. If you're not heading back to his place after dinner, you're not giving him ammunition to put any move on you.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 No, guys should never bring up sex right away. If they do...run! I'm a guy that has had quite a few one night stands (not extremely proud of that) but in most of those cases it just happened. If I am dating a girl, I don't even joke around about sex until we have gone on 3 or 4 dates. I would suggest taking a look at where you are meeting these guys. If you are meeting lots of guys that talk about sex right away, you need to make some changes on the venues that you are meeting these guys. Ditto. Talking about sex is the same as saying " I'm very promiscuous". Double standard? I know, but if you don't want to give him the impression that you are easy, don't give him ammunition to think that way.
Sanman Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Well, I am always down for sex, but take my cues from the woman. I have waited 6 weeks before. Though I would make sure you are showing appropriate interest in other ways. If there is nothing at all going on for 6 weeks, I might think you aren't really interested or there was someone else. Hell, I have been that someone else.
nwsingleguy Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Is she? I didn't get that from this....You still haven't said where you are meeting these guys. You should call a guy out if he mentions sex right away. These guys must be social retards if they are bringing up sex during the first conversation or first date. Even during most one night stands, sex is not talked about...the moment just gets heated and it happens. What kind of guys talk about sex after they meet a girl....usually teenage virgins...ha ha
musemaj11 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Men have to deal with cheapskate women. Women have to deal with horny men. I guess its even.
Sanman Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Is she? I didn't get that from this....You still haven't said where you are meeting these guys. You should call a guy out if he mentions sex right away. These guys must be social retards if they are bringing up sex during the first conversation or first date. Even during most one night stands, sex is not talked about...the moment just gets heated and it happens. What kind of guys talk about sex after they meet a girl....usually teenage virgins...ha ha I mentioned sex in an initial conversation while drunk at a bar. It netted me two phone numbers and a few dated a few weeks later after I ended a relationship. Though, it is quite bad form on an actual date.
nwsingleguy Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Ha ha, well props for that. My experience has always been that you just play it cool and the opportunity presents itself. All my ONS have been situations where I wasn't really trying and it just happened. I guess part of that goes with age, as you get a little older things are more subtle.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 You know who I talk to about sex- my primary physician/ gynecologist, my girlfriends ( single or taken) and my guy friends ( who I will never, ever sleep with). And guess what, the conversation is as enlightening, hilarious and entertaining as watching a Seinfeld marathon. Of course, outside of these circles, men whom I have talked to about sex, I have slept with. What does that say?
Sharon1961 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 There are many, many men who know to not try and have sex with a lady right away. Or, if they get a little carried away to back off immediately if she is not so inclined. Like others have said, if you are talking about sex or maybe dressing or acting provocatively then guys might get the impression that you were looking for sex. I once knew a girl who wore the skimpiest outfits and flirted incessantly. And then she would get offended when guys came on to her! Not saying this is you. Just a story that came to mind. Anyway, despair not - the decent guys who know better are everywhere!
daphne Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I think it's a function of today's society. Sex is pretty cheap and easy to get these days, and there are a lot of guys that don't know better than to treat it like it's expected. For me, I am somewhat conservative when it comes to the way I dress and act. It should be pretty obvious that I am not a cheap lay kind of girl. Yet, guys do tend to bring up sex much earlier than I'm comfortable with. I liked Sanman's 6 week thing. Guys that bring it up within the first couple of dates are not the kind of guys who want a serious relationship. That should just be a given.
sumdude Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I think it's a function of today's society. Sex is pretty cheap and easy to get these days, and there are a lot of guys that don't know better than to treat it like it's expected. For me, I am somewhat conservative when it comes to the way I dress and act. It should be pretty obvious that I am not a cheap lay kind of girl. Yet, guys do tend to bring up sex much earlier than I'm comfortable with. I liked Sanman's 6 week thing. Guys that bring it up within the first couple of dates are not the kind of guys who want a serious relationship. That should just be a given. Six weeks... hmmm. I think it depends more on how much time you've spent together. If you see each other once or twice a week that's one thing. If you've been hanging out almost daily them the time frame might be different. Once both are comfortable enough with each other. I think the assumption that sex early on cannot lead to a long relationship is slightly flawed. I know plenty of people who started early on and are still married. Though my marriage did end I was with her for eight years. I think it was maybe a couple of weeks for us.
daphne Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Six weeks... hmmm. I think it depends more on how much time you've spent together. If you see each other once or twice a week that's one thing. If you've been hanging out almost daily them the time frame might be different. Once both are comfortable enough with each other. I think the assumption that sex early on cannot lead to a long relationship is slightly flawed. I know plenty of people who started early on and are still married. Though my marriage did end I was with her for eight years. I think it was maybe a couple of weeks for us. I didn't say that ever really happens, but it would be nice. I like getting to know someone as a person. I want to know what I'm getting into. And the longer a guy can restrain himself, the hotter his appeal to be frank. As a female you wonder "Is he gay? Am I not doing it for him?" and kind of keeps us on our toes too.
phineas Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I didn't say that ever really happens, but it would be nice. I like getting to know someone as a person. I want to know what I'm getting into. And the longer a guy can restrain himself, the hotter his appeal to be frank. As a female you wonder "Is he gay? Am I not doing it for him?" and kind of keeps us on our toes too. In my experience, if you wind up with any woman on a couch alone watching a movie it's go time or she friend zones you. Period. doesn't matter if your dating, hanging out, or "just a friend". I said before I usually give 4 to 6 meet-ups (because god forbid you say the word "date" to a woman these days) then I invite them over for dinner & a movie. They either shut me down or I get lucky. Sometimes they fall off the face of the earth, sometimes we see each other & progress. sometimes they say "I just want to be friends" & I stop talking to them. LOL!
Author 9Lives Posted February 18, 2011 Author Posted February 18, 2011 Stop giving off whore vibes. For the sake of this comment, what is whore vibes? I don't dress overly sexy. I'm not talking about bed stuff. So what vibes are whire vibes and what the hell do you want to talk about without being boribng?
daphne Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 In my experience, if you wind up with any woman on a couch alone watching a movie it's go time or she friend zones you. Period. That is a bit too black and white. Not everyone fits that mold. You know there's also hand holding and kissing, not just going at it like bunny rabbits.
oaks Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 That is a bit too black and white. Not everyone fits that mold. You know there's also hand holding and kissing, not just going at it like bunny rabbits. So you like to take things slowly. What happens if you tell your guys this? Maybe they'll stop trying to rush things. I would be quite happy with just hand holding and kissing in the beginning.
daphne Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 So you like to take things slowly. What happens if you tell your guys this? Maybe they'll stop trying to rush things. I would be quite happy with just hand holding and kissing in the beginning. I do tell guys this. That doesn't stop them from bringing it up a little too soon. lol. So are you saying we're in the hand holding stage?
oaks Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 So are you saying we're in the hand holding stage? Only if you're ready for that. I don't want to rush you.
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