Woggle Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 If they are we are really screwed as a society. It seems men and women hate each other. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-larson/why-women-want-out-more-t_b_792133.html
Jannah Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 If they are we are really screwed as a society. It seems men and women hate each other. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-larson/why-women-want-out-more-t_b_792133.html The author is a journalist, daydreamer and freelance columnist. Next!
january2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 If they are we are really screwed as a society. It seems men and women hate each other. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-larson/why-women-want-out-more-t_b_792133.html Y'know, I couldn't find the word "hate" in that article anywhere. Even did an electronic search to confirm and nope, no "hate." Just deals with statistics, women asking for divorce and men behaving badly.
Author Woggle Posted February 18, 2011 Author Posted February 18, 2011 Y'know, I couldn't find the word "hate" in that article anywhere. Even did an electronic search to confirm and nope, no "hate." Just deals with statistics, women asking for divorce and men behaving badly. Read through the comments. The bitterness on both sides is so think you can cut it.
january2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Read through the comments. The bitterness on both sides is so think you can cut it. Woggle - in my experience, the comment sections of most online news articles are full of people 'hating' on each other regardless of the subject matter. Unless the comment is from a registered poster who is well known for their balanced, articulate, informative and insightful posts, I don't think the comments can be taken seriously as anything other than entertainment.
musemaj11 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 The biggest mistake men make is marrying a woman who has less. Be more like women, men. Marry your equal or better. Real life is not like Cinderella. In real life Cinderella divorces the prince and runs with half his wealth.
Author Woggle Posted February 18, 2011 Author Posted February 18, 2011 Just look at some of the things women in these comments say about men. This is why I am so reluctant to give up this bitterness. Why does nobody tell them to give up their bitterness?
january2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Woggle, is this a crusade or a competition for you? Do you feel that you must wave the flag for bitter men and match bitter women word-for-word? I don't mean to sound harsh when I ask you those questions, but I'd genuinely like to know. You admit that you have a gem of a wife. And I think you really do deserve her given the horror that you've been through. However, I think that you really must find a way to deal with these triggers that send you into a spiral into the abyss of bitterness. We haven't interacted much, but you seem like a decent bloke and despite not knowing you that well, I'm concerned to see you create these 'enemies' for yourself to rail against when you have so much to be happy about. As I wrote earlier, I tend to take most comment sections to online news articles as entertainment and therefore not to be taken too seriously.
Author Woggle Posted February 18, 2011 Author Posted February 18, 2011 I tend to fight misandry with some hatred back in their direction. I really do wonder sometimes if that is how most women view men and it makes me want to hold on to these defenses. I feel like registering on that board right now and spouting all types of misogynistic crap. Some women on here say they hate being generalized and I can understand that but how do you think I feel when my gender is called babies, animals, bloodsucking lifesuckers and a bunch of other nice things on boards like that? Do you men like that very much?
january2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I don't like it when my gender is called names either. But I don't know these people. They are just nameless, faceless words on a screen, so 99.99% of the time, I just walk away. Why put yourself into a fight that means nothing? That achieves nothing? If you want to fight, fight for something that means something that needs your strength, energy and time. Not a silly comment section flamewar that's just throwing words out onto a screen. So I don't suggest registering. Nope. Not at all. I don't view all men as babies, animals, bloodsucking lifesuckers etc. Some are, in my opinion, but even those men have their good days. And good men have their bad days, as you are now. But it's okay. We are both human and imperfect.
Author Woggle Posted February 18, 2011 Author Posted February 18, 2011 Yeah I know I shouldn't let this get to me but I am sick and tired of being hated just because of who I am born as. I am ashamed to say I read every single comment in one sitting and it just has me ticked off now.
january2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Woggle, there are people on this board who don't hate you and they don't even know you in real life. I noticed that people take the time to respond to you and they show care and concern in their posts. So you must be someone really special for them to do that. I would hope that that balances out the negativity of the comments that you've been reading. Particularly since those comments are not directed at you personally, even though they are directly at you generally. Sweeping generalisations can be hurtful but at times are also quite entertaining in their silliness.
Pyro Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 what a way to waste your evening/night. You could've spent quality time with your wife but instead you chose to search for articles like that. The world is an imperfect place. There will always be men haters and there will always be women haters. Learn to deal with it and move one. They will never go away. Its a fact that you can't handle reading articles like that or going to those websites so STOP! Go do something worthwhile with your friends and/or wife.
zengirl Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I actually think the article itself makes a good point -- a significant amount of women-initiated divorces are like the author describes: generally when men cheat, or behave badly, the woman iniates the divorce. Ironically, when women cheat, they often STILL iniate the divorce. Men rarely iniate divorces, whether they were the one who 'left' (to me, cheating is leaving) or not. Something worth remembering. Which is not to say that all divorces are more the men's fault, but that who iniatiates the divorce on paper tells little about why it's ending. Read through the comments. The bitterness on both sides is so think you can cut it. The comments section of almost every kind of article are generally pretty bitter, argumentative, and hateful. I read a lot of political articles, and it's the same there. No, that is not representative of how people generally behave in real life, nor the whole gist of how they feel. It's even less nuanced than LS!
collegeguy_24 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 The comments section of almost every kind of article are generally pretty bitter, argumentative, and hateful. I read a lot of political articles, and it's the same there. No, that is not representative of how people generally behave in real life, nor the whole gist of how they feel. It's even less nuanced than LS! This is true, I often read the comments section on CNN, Foxnews, MSNBC, and so on. They are bitter for the most part. Comments for news articles are pretty much useless in the way the Woggle suggests. I mean, I know quite a few people who troll news articles just for fun.
sumdude Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Hmmmm... an article by a woman explaining why divorce is initiated mostly by women. But the gist of it is... it's still almost always the man's fault. Don't like it, where's the self responsibility? Could the woman have been acting in a way or treating the man in a way that drove him to these bad behaviors? Uhh.. could that even be a possibility in many cases? I'm no misogynist... but my marriage and divorce paralleled what is in the article. Though I did initiate the legal divorce in the end. But by then it was a done deal. She rationalized her affair and leaving by blaming me for everything. Of course she simply wasn't capable of getting through a long rough patch so running to another man was her better option. FYI the only one on the list of bad behaviors I was guilty of was drinking too much. Though never abusive or anything. I was grieving, depressed and stressed out. She was no help.... but it's still my fault apparently.
Alexz Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I found the article a bit too generic and opinionated, rather than informative. I'm not sure, divorce is quite situational, I don't know what to make of these claims that were stated.
sally4sara Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 If they are we are really screwed as a society. It seems men and women hate each other. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-larson/why-women-want-out-more-t_b_792133.html All I saw was a peppering of projection going on on both sides for the most part. Sure some were more angry than others but not the over all leader in attitudes being shown. You have to keep in mind that when people project their past experiences, it is a dim scope of what everyone else has gone through. For instance, one person who seemed to have experienced being tuned out when they would try to address problems to their spouse - and was met with a response from someone who had become divorced from a spouse they experienced to be a harping shrew. So he assumes she was an awful shrew (like his ex) and she takes that to mean he is like her ex who always tuned her out till she felt like a shrew. But neither of these people know how they would respond to each other had they been married. And that is how clinging to bitterness will have you lashing out at people you could very well see eye to eye with. You don't see them, you only see the ghost of someone else you've yet to feel free from.
laRubiaBonita Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 You have to keep in mind that when people project their past experiences, it is a dim scope of what everyone else has gone through. For instance, one person who seemed to have experienced being tuned out when they would try to address problems to their spouse - and was met with a response from someone who had become divorced from a spouse they experienced to be a harping shrew. So he assumes she was an awful shrew (like his ex) and she takes that to mean he is like her ex who always tuned her out till she felt like a shrew. But neither of these people know how they would respond to each other had they been married. And that is how clinging to bitterness will have you lashing out at people you could very well see eye to eye with. You don't see them, you only see the ghost of someone else you've yet to feel free from. i believe, as evident from prior threads/posts by the OP, that the OP struggles with the underlined in every aspect of his life.
whichwayisup Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 . I am ashamed to say I read every single comment in one sitting and it just has me ticked off now.. I am ashamed to say I read every single comment in one sitting and it just has me ticked off now. You asked for it..You went looking for this, read it and now are pissed off. Woggle, why not look for HAPPY links, ones that show how much women and men love eachother? You keep focussing on the bad stuff and let it piss you off, keeping you in the bitter zone. It's a habit you need to break! Stop reading and looking at that stuff. Choose NOT to read it if you see something on the web like that.
Author Woggle Posted February 18, 2011 Author Posted February 18, 2011 Where are these happy links? I will say that the comments from men are just as bad. It's really a sad state of affairs in our society.
dreamingoftigers Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I am not bitter and don't hate your gender. I don't even hate my spouse. I hate what he has done, I hate what his parents/guardians did to him, I hate some of the things I have done. I don't even hate other male sexual addicts. I have every right to hold onto bitter feelings and feelings if hatred but at the end of the day it only poisons my hope and my happiness. People make stupid choices all of time, a lot of us walk around with demons, (addictions and self-righteousness and selfishness) that doesn't mean that we aren't worth living and forgiving. Seek and ye shall find, you seek examples of upset and bitterness and you will find plenty of it. The good stuff is harder to find but of far more value.
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