SunsetRed Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Hey everyone. I am surfing the net tonight and found out about a book that relates to what many of us have been talking about. The book is called Counter-Dependency. A Flight From Intimacy by Dr Janae Weinhold. This book goes beyond the typical commitment phobia jargin. I haven't read the book, but the article describing the book really spoke to me. In today's world we strive so hard not to be co dependent on another and not to lose ourselves in someone else, that sometimes we can't connect at all. I know for myself, I'm a control freak, not about controlling others but I feel that I need to be in charge of my own destiny at all times, to the point where I can't let anyone in because I'm afraid they'll take me in a wrong direction and mess up my life. It never occurs to me that they could take me in a good direction, I always fear that they will end up robbing me of the joyful aspects of my life. Gee, a man who's already committed to a family can't take too much from me, can he? Subconciously I knew all along that xMM wasn't really getting divorced and setting up life with me. I guess the fact that he was separated at the time made me feel a little more moral than if he was actually in their home, but still..I knew I wouldn't have to give up my life for someone who had a life with someone else. Well, anyway, it's worth anyone's time to google the book and find out about it. I plan to actually purchase it. I was meant to find out about this book and maybe some others on this board are meant to find out about it too.
Author SunsetRed Posted February 18, 2011 Author Posted February 18, 2011 Here is a list of some of the traits of someone with counter dependency issues...describes me to a T. Having limited ability to feel emotions in regards to romantic relationships (such as justified anger or sadness)Having a tendency to say no to new ideas from your partnerFeeling anxiety while forming close relationshipsA need for perfectionBeing afraid of letting others control youBeing consumed by the needs of your partnerRefusing to ask for helpBecoming easily boredNeeding to constantly seek out new thrillsHaving a tendency to work long hours during the week and on weekends
mbm69 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Here is a list of some of the traits of someone with counter dependency issues...describes me to a T. Having limited ability to feel emotions in regards to romantic relationships (such as justified anger or sadness)Having a tendency to say no to new ideas from your partnerFeeling anxiety while forming close relationshipsA need for perfectionBeing afraid of letting others control youBeing consumed by the needs of your partnerRefusing to ask for helpBecoming easily boredNeeding to constantly seek out new thrillsHaving a tendency to work long hours during the week and on weekends My gosh, this describes me to a T as well.
ladydesigner Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Here is a list of some of the traits of someone with counter dependency issues...describes me to a T. Having limited ability to feel emotions in regards to romantic relationships (such as justified anger or sadness)Having a tendency to say no to new ideas from your partnerFeeling anxiety while forming close relationshipsA need for perfectionBeing afraid of letting others control youBeing consumed by the needs of your partnerRefusing to ask for helpBecoming easily boredNeeding to constantly seek out new thrillsHaving a tendency to work long hours during the week and on weekends Wow this describes me to a "T" too. Very interesting!
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