Mrlonelyone Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 (edited) She suggest that I meet the people she works with by inviting me to dress rehersal. She accepts my date for tonite which was planned two weeks ago for tonite. Now all of a sudden she has a boyfriend? A boyfriend who hasn't been mentioned at all up to this point. What the 4uck? Am I disappointed yes.... heartbroken not really. I have been here before. I just wish she had said something earlier. Edited February 17, 2011 by Mrlonelyone
xpaperxcutx Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 I bet she was busy doing her hair at 10... No, really I'm sorry, I just had the same thing happen to me, so I know how you feel. There are some immensely selfish people in this world and I'm learning everyday that I should be without moral standards myself if I want to come out on top. Pretty f- up don't you think?
Author Mrlonelyone Posted February 17, 2011 Author Posted February 17, 2011 I bet she was busy doing her hair at 10... No, really I'm sorry, I just had the same thing happen to me, so I know how you feel. There are some immensely selfish people in this world and I'm learning everyday that I should be without moral standards myself if I want to come out on top. Pretty f- up don't you think? Yeah. We planned this date two weeks ago. Half of it was her idea.... In all the months we knew each other before this...not one mention of a boyfriend. I'm not going to analyse any of what I did since I did just what felt right. I guess it's kind of like that one lady on here who wanted to call off a second date she had already agree'd to. Just like that. :smh: Well that's it for me. I don't see many serious prospects like she seemed to have been on the horizon. Nothing but college kids who are good for a laugh at best.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 Yeah. We planned this date two weeks ago. Half of it was her idea.... In all the months we knew each other before this...not one mention of a boyfriend. I'm not going to analyse any of what I did since I did just what felt right. I guess it's kind of like that one lady on here who wanted to call off a second date she had already agree'd to. Just like that. :smh: Well that's it for me. I don't see many serious prospects like she seemed to have been on the horizon. Nothing but college kids who are good for a laugh at best. Honestly, unless you actually said " I just got into a relationship with someone else after we slept together", I don't see how it's really your fault.
hopefully Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 She's very selfish. She probably had some problems with her boyfriend and you were the secret backup. Hugs.
phenotype22 Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 She probably had some problems with her boyfriend and you were the secret backup. I agree with this assessment. At least, you now know where you stand. It's time to move on to the next hunt. Maybe, you can scope out her coworkers to see if any of them are hot and work that angle. If she has a BF, then it's time to put her to work as a wingwoman.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted February 17, 2011 Author Posted February 17, 2011 I agree with this assessment. At least, you now know where you stand. It's time to move on to the next hunt. Maybe, you can scope out her coworkers to see if any of them are hot and work that angle. If she has a BF, then it's time to put her to work as a wingwoman. Wingwoman perhaps....perhaps not. After some thought here's what I think about the situation overall. In all the time I knew her she never once mentioned a boyfriend, not even in passing, and we talked allot. What she did mention was her job and how busy it kept her. (We met in a rather costly and expensive exercise class and she would miss several sessions due to her job.) Now she mentions this boyfriend, and that in part due to her job that she's not been able to see him for "a long time". Either there is no boyfriend and she just let me down easy. Given her showing interest all this time...the factor would be her job not leaving her time to date. Or there is a boyfriend who has the privilege of being alone for "a long time" due to her job. Which sort of defeats the purpose of having a girlfriend. These things make me think what have I lost? Either she's dishonest or not really available boyfriend or not due to her job. Somehow that makes me feel allot better about the whole thing. :-) There will be others...we will have always had the exercise class.
zengirl Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I'm sorry to hear that! I know how you were looking forward to this date. I think she's likely lying, just from everything you've said. She probably just changed her mind about the whole thing and grasped for the first lie she could put together.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted February 18, 2011 Author Posted February 18, 2011 I'm sorry to hear that! I know how you were looking forward to this date. I think she's likely lying, just from everything you've said. She probably just changed her mind about the whole thing and grasped for the first lie she could put together. Your probably right. .... I can't imagine someone who has a SO not mentioning them once in half a years worth of conversations.
You'reasian Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Either there is no boyfriend and she just let me down easy. Given her showing interest all this time...the factor would be her job not leaving her time to date. Or there is a boyfriend who has the privilege of being alone for "a long time" due to her job. Which sort of defeats the purpose of having a girlfriend. These things make me think what have I lost? Either she's dishonest or not really available boyfriend or not due to her job. Somehow that makes me feel allot better about the whole thing. :-) There will be others...we will have always had the exercise class. Well summed up.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted February 18, 2011 Author Posted February 18, 2011 Well summed up. Ansewering a questionin another thread gave me a thought which could explain this womans behavior without her being really flaky or a liar. The question was asked by quiet guy 13 would a woman with a bf ever date? It hit me...she may be in a so called "open relationship". You know where you have a bf and gf "main squeeze...but are free to date others too. If FB has a relationship status for it then some people must do it. She is a liberal enough person to do such a thing. Question: How can one spot an open relationship when they see it?
PerpetualMotion Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 How can one spot an open relationship when they see it? Without meeting their BF/GF it's hard to say if they really are in an open relationship. Personally, I wouldn't waste my time trying to find an answer to that question. Knowing that someone had a BF would be enough for me to look somewhere else.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted February 18, 2011 Author Posted February 18, 2011 Without meeting their BF/GF it's hard to say if they really are in an open relationship. Personally, I wouldn't waste my time trying to find an answer to that question. Knowing that someone had a BF would be enough for me to look somewhere else. Yeah yours would be the most common response to that situation. Which would explain why someone might not advertise that they have such a relationship. The concept of a non monogamous relationship is taboo in our society. It's almost as taboo as being LGBT.
PerpetualMotion Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 It's not a taboo for me. If someone is into polyamory doesn't mean I can't develop a friendship with that person, or discuss about it. It simply means I won't be interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with that person.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted February 18, 2011 Author Posted February 18, 2011 I'm going to try to do at least that. I mean... we were friendly for months before it started to feel romantic at all. There's no reason to throw that away. Besides like someone pointed out a friend can always introduce me to someone.
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