Mike1983 Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 I'll try to make this story as brief as possible(it was a very long story): She was my college sweetheart. I broke up with her because i wanted my so-called freedom. I told her i have someone else because that's the easiest excuse someone can give to end a relationship but the truth was i lied. I never had any other relationship after her. After a few years, i felt like getting back together & take it seriously, to move on to the next level. I contacted her but sadly she said she already had someone else. I was torn apart that time, i went through the silly begging her to take me back episode & everyone knows it didn't work. I tried to explain why i did what i did, i was being honest but she didn't believe me. So i decided to move, NC for more than 2 years, been with another girl(still going on, but i feel like something is missing from our relationship, there's no warmness & courtesy like what i had with my Ex). i never had the strength to stop loving my Ex. Recently I've been in contact again with my Ex, as friends. We never talk about our past relationships, she's being nice to me. sometime i feel like she wants me back but sometime i feel like she's just being nice to me as a friend & i also don't know what's her current relationship status. i know this sounds silly but i still love her & want her back in my life. Help!
samspade Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 It is done, my friend. You must move on. You have Oneitis. You think she is the only one for you. Newsflash: She is not. Don't waste your youth pining for what you once had. You two I'm sure had great times together. Savor them, learn from them. Don't try to repeat them. You had a reason for breaking up with her. You wanted to be free and you took the risk of solitude for that. You're to be commended; many men would lie to themselves and stay in a relationship they didn't want. Please stop torturing yourself by hanging out with her. This only compounds the problem. Just end contact, move on. You will find someone new.
aerogurl87 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 I have to disagree with samspade as things aren't always that simple. If your love for her is interfering with you being 100% happy with this new girl and you still want her 2 years later, which is a long time especially if it involved months or even a year of NC. Then let the new girl go and see if your ex is open to the idea of being together again. It can be done, no matter what anyone else says. All second chances don't happen in a few weeks or even months. Some take years, but that doesn't mean it's not worth it in the end.
Eeyore79 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 All you can do is talk to her, see what her relationship status is and whether she wants to try again with you. If she's taken or not interested, you really need to move on.
DustySaltus Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 First off, you need to step up, be a man and end things with your current girl. For all you know she could think that you're the love of her life and if that's not the case, which it clearly isn't, it's time to let her know. Secondly, it's up to your ex to decide whether or not she wants to give things a second go around, with a clean slate. You should respect the fact that she's in a relationship, because you wouldn't want her to pull the same thing on you. You lied to the girl and told her that there was someone else that didn't even exist. You continue to be with someone yet continue to fish behind the scenes. Maybe it's best that you're not anyone right now and work on yourself. Learn to become a better person for yourself before you pursue a relationship with anyone else.
You Go Girl Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 It's 4 years since you left her for your imaginary gf? And it was 2 years before you told her that the gf was imaginary, and you went all that time without anyone? And the current gf of 2 years is ok, but you fantasize about the ex? And you are imagining that a relationship from 4 years ago is "the one" ? Am I reading this right? Read up on emotionally unavailable/ avoidance personality and fear of intimacy. There is a good chance that you would repeat the behavior and disappear again even if you manage to successfully go back to the ex gf from 4 years ago. It just might not be fair to her if you think about it....
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