CCfooty Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 In a few days i'll be on a WEEK long conference with work with my ex. We will be staying on the same floor of a hotel, attending the same meetings throughout the day with a group of about 15-20 people max. It will be impossible to avoid as this stuff is based on work, team building within that group, etc. I will be professional, because that is NECESSARY in this situation. I would never want to be an immature prat about it anyway (especially in front of co-workers). So, the issue. I still care. I wish I could say I didn't, but I do. It's been about 5 months since we broke up. She was still saying she loved me 2-2.5 months after we broke up. I think we broke up because I have very bad trust issues... she's "flirty" I would say, but really hasn't done anything SUPER wrong and I do know my **** would be hard to deal with - i've been super hurt in the past, she knows this too. After we broke up another girl entered the picture which made me automatically suspicious. It was MUCH more noticeable about 2 months after that SOMETHING was up, and she would NEVER tell me. Even when I asked her in December, she wouldn't tell me... said I was always thinking the worst... and then cut me out. I'm PRETTY confident that SOMETHING was up though, official or not. They're dating now. And also apparently saying they love each other already? I only know this because friends have told me what they've seen. She lives 9 hours away from me. After she cut me out I stopped talking to her all together. SO - if someone could interpret the following message she sent me a week ago, that'd be helpful. She basically told me she wanted to have a good talking relationship prior to this conference. I didn't reply to her, because wasn't sure how/what to say.... hours later in the middle of the night, she sends another text just saying "ok, guess not". I didn't want to reply to that at 1:00am, so didn't. The next day, I replied and I told her i'd be civil, and wouldn't do anything to interfere with the conference. She replied with "Alright, well it's clear you don't want me in your life". I didn't really enjoy the snarkiness of that comment. But regardless - I told her it wasn't that I didn't want her in my life, but that it was really hard for me. All she said was she knows, and that she was sorry for cutting me out but felt it necessary... that she doesn't expect me to understand. Though, I do understand her cutting me out. I WAS questioning a TON, and being irrational (though was correct on some of my questioning about this new girl - which really bothers me that she couldn't be honest about her, even months after). So I told her that I actually did understand that. Then, and this is what I need help figuring out, she says: "It's not that I didn't want to talk though, because I did. I was really hurting. I know people don't see that, but you know how I am... I hide my feelings... It was easier just to pretend I was fine." I honestly thought she was beyond things in December (when she cut me out). Esp since I think she was sleeping with that girl already. I think it was a bit inappropriate to tell me that, esp since she's with this new person already. But I could just be taking it ALL out of context. What do you make of that last bit? and How would you approach the conference? Would you bring things up? Would you discuss how much she hurt you? Or any "why's" - like why she couldn't tell me about the new person?
Recommended Posts