Read "Divorce Busters" To Late. Need Ideas to Impliment FINAL Strategy

[Yasuandio]

My goal is to try to save my 25 year marriage. It is getting down to the last straw.

 

Sometimes I feel like I found out about the LS site, and useful resources a day late. I have just read Michelle Weiner-Davis's Book, "Divorce Busters" (discusses the 180).

 

Weiner-Davis also proposes the "do-something-different" approach for doom and gloom situations. It's funny, I actually had already done something like that the day before her book arrived. I got a puppy, to give my dog a companion and help her become a little more active. She seems to have taken on some of my depression.

 

We are separated, and his phone calls always seemed to ambush me, push my buttons, resulting in me acting like an idiot. I have now placed parental controls on my phone so that won't happen again. (The calls hooked me into breaking the 180s).

 

Can anyone think of anything else I can do that is different?

[robf1971]

My goal is to try to save my 25 year marriage. It is getting down to the last straw.

 

Sometimes I feel like I found out about the LS site, and useful resources a day late. I have just read Michelle Weiner-Davis's Book, "Divorce Busters" (discusses the 180).

 

Weiner-Davis also proposes the "do-something-different" approach for doom and gloom situations. It's funny, I actually had already done something like that the day before her book arrived. I got a puppy, to give my dog a companion and help her become a little more active. She seems to have taken on some of my depression.

 

We are separated, and his phone calls always seemed to ambush me, push my buttons, resulting in me acting like an idiot. I have now placed parental controls on my phone so that won't happen again. (The calls hooked me into breaking the 180s).

 

Can anyone think of anything else I can do that is different?

 

Yeah, live life for yourself. New people, new hobbies, old friends. Seriously, I think you did the wrong thing blocking the calls it's all about how you handle them.

 

Blocking the calls just results in them visiting you, I gotta go to work, but I'll try to come back on here later or tomorrow. Read throught russell1968's thread there is some good advice on there.

[tobydog1]

Yas,

 

What is your final strategy?

Dx

[worldgonewrong]

My copy of this book just arrived now! yay!!

 

i can tell from even the 1st page it's going to be something.

 

it might not heal my marriage, but it sure will give me some strength to grow myself.

[worldgonewrong]

p.s. "Divorce Busting"

[Yasuandio]

Tobydog, the FINAL strategy, is essentially the "do-something-REALLY-differently" approach, that's how I'd characterize it. It would be like you shipping OW a new Cuisenart, as a nice "housewarming gift.". I guess that's sort of drastic. Here's one I did without even trying;

 

I was friendly with a gal last year that spent a couple weeks at my house due to marital issues. She had a brand-spank'in new Mercedes SUV, that was natually parked in my driveway. That Mercedes, or the fact that "little ole me" actually had an aquaintence that could afford such a vehicle caused some comotion which I never anticipated!

 

It's that sort of thing. The unexpected, something out of the ordinary. What I learned from the above example was that someone was cruising my neighbohood on a regular basis. As I was bombarded with questions like "who is she?" "is she living with you now?", "whatta ya think yar up to with yar big shot friends?"

 

I'm a fool, I still love him, and some of his Narcissistic ruminations and accusations just crack me up! No, actually I should be ashamed of myself for being so stupid to want him back. I just hate myself for what I want. There you have it

Edited February 18, 2011 by Yasuandio
Too Long