willpower Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 I wrote her a letter on the weekend (4 months after breaking up). Its given me a good sense of closure and I have felt a lot better this week as I have now internalised the truth that she is not coming back after months of holding onto her. Letter bascially thanked her for the good memories, for showing me how deep love can be and also acknowledging that I had many faults that I refused to work on in the relationship - that I now see them and am grateful that she pointed them out to me at the time so that I can now work on them and have healthier relationships in the future. That I loved her like I love my family, and will always be there if she is in need. That I was sorry for being an Ahole and that she was the best GF a guy could wish for. Why did I write this letter? Because I've let go, and its true. I owe her an apology, she was better to me than I ever deserved and its not my goal to leave people with emotional scars thinking they did something to get such cold treatment. She was awesome, she still is and she taught me a lot about myself that I am only just seeing clearly all these months on. I;ll never stop loving her, like I'll never stop loving my family but I now do not hold onto the thought of her returning and I feel as if I have now started looking forward and am not stuck in the past. Will that letter bring her back? I dont want her back, I need to work on myself, address my issues and move on. What we had was the best thing ever for me but it was not healthy. Right person wrong time for sure. I need to grow up (I'm 27 but treated this relationship like a kid) and mature a little before I get into something like that again with someone. So back to the dating scene, older, wiser and with some memories of an absolutely beautiful person. Stay strong, dont hate, just love.
Trovador Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 Yep, wishing the other good is a sure sign you are healing, sadly for some of us, temporal resentment is the only force which keeps us sane after the break up (as contradictory as that may sound)... maybe for this, I see you have your ex in high esteem, something many of us dumpees never would dream of doing... Did she answered your letter?
Author willpower Posted February 17, 2011 Author Posted February 17, 2011 Only gave it to her yesterday (as I had arranged to see her to sort some business). If she relpies or does not relpy it matters not now, the letter was about me straightening out some things for myself. I treated her badly, I wanted her to know that she was not the reason for the way I treated her, but that I had/have some underlying emotional attachment issues. I cant take back what I did but I can apologise sincerely for it and now I am at peace with the world. How she chooses to digest and accept that is her affair now. Just keep moving on guys, I think back to my state in October and I was emotionally paralysed. I regret what I did, and I still think about what could have been but I honestly feel I've truned the corner on this and am now actively looking up. What kept me going? My freinds and my interests. I do a lot of running, and I just ran a PB for the 400m on the weekend. If I had not been hurting so badly I'm sure I would not have trained as hard as I did over the winter. In truth I was slacking when I was with her, started letting things go that I usually keep on top of. I didn't see this until I was in shock. "I like the way that shock awakens people" - Russel Brand. So true. On to the next adventure...
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