donnamaybe Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 The person who wrote that single virgin 30 comment... He had a woman who was totally into him...until he told her he was a 28 year old virgin who had never kissed a girl. He was not akward at all...she found out he was a virgin and did a 180 degree about face and ran the other way. Hell, I would have been THRILLED to find a virgin I could - ahem - personally train to become a love machine!
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 The person who wrote that single virgin 30 comment... He had a woman who was totally into him...until he told her he was a 28 year old virgin who had never kissed a girl. He was not akward at all...she found out he was a virgin and did a 180 degree about face and ran the other way. He must soldier on! If I were in his position, I don't think I would tell the girl this until I had got the kissing thing underway first.
jane100 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 It gets my back up when a man who is bitter generalises about women and implies ALL women are cold hearted or bitches etc etc just because they've been hurt once or twice. I've been hurt by more than one man but I am not bitter or generalise about ALL men. I would have much more sympathy if they stopped generalising, because how am I, as a female, not supposed to take offence to the rants about women? I have a lot of sympathy for anyone who has been hurt but not if they're having digs at women as a whole cos of it. I know some women are as bad when they rant about men, I don't find that acceptable either. On the contrary I wish men would show their emotions more and say how they feel if they feel hurt, rather than have a dig at womankind in general. Absolutely. I think alot of the bitter men who post on L.S. just don't like women, especially the younger ones who have no actual real experience, who just feel bad about themselves and life generally. So LS is a board for them to vent their hatred generally and against women, creepy and sickening but there it is. One of the ways one knows this, is that they are rarely specific about their own feelings or experience (which would make one actually sympathetic). Instead, they just go into "hate generalisation" mode, moaning about money, sex or dates, though often they have no experience of ANY of these, usually in two-line posts, as really they have nothing of consequence to say. I give these posts a wide-berth especially when I see certain names.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 The person who wrote that single virgin 30 comment... He had a woman who was totally into him...until he told her he was a 28 year old virgin who had never kissed a girl. He was not akward at all...she found out he was a virgin and did a 180 degree about face and ran the other way. You must be mistaking me with someone else. First off, I never tell anybody I'm a virgin, or that I haven't kissed. My love life is a mystery, even to my mom. For all intents and purposes, people assume I'm gay. And women can tell I'm into them, but when they make a move on me, I get nervous and awkward, and show my inexperience. So I don't have to tell them - they pretty much figure it out, and run the other way. Just clarifying.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Absolutely. I think alot of the bitter men who post on L.S. just don't like women, especially the younger ones who have no actual real experience, who just feel bad about themselves and life generally. So LS is a board for them to vent their hatred generally and against women, creepy and sickening but there it is. One of the ways one knows this, is that they are rarely specific about their own feelings or experience (which would make one actually sympathetic). Instead, they just go into "hate generalisation" mode, moaning about money, sex or dates, though often they have no experience of ANY of these, usually in two-line posts, as really they have nothing of consequence to say. I give these posts a wide-berth especially when I see certain names. Agreed. But if a guy makes a statement like "women aren't attracted to me" that is far different than saying "women aren't attracted to nice guys/short guys/ugly guys/etc.". The first is a reasonable assumption if a guy hasn't dated in a while (or hardly ever) the second is a gross generalization that if thought about logically makes absolutely no sense. I always roll my eyes when I see (or hear) someone ranting about how all women want great looking men with tons of money,
somedude81 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 If this is true, then it's not only women who lack empathy for (bitter) men, but all of humanity in general. That seems to be the case. Men simply don't have a lot of empathy for each other. It's just not who they are. Though I think a major point about it, is that for some reason men who've had normal lives with women, can't comprehend why I want a girlfriend so desperately. They think having a woman in their lives is no big deal. But that's the same thing as telling a homeless man searching though trash for his next meal that food is no big deal. Women don't understand the male sex drive at all and how it is strongly tied to our self-confidence. Though at least they understand the need for companionship and intimacy. One thing I have noticed, is that there is a strong preference for helping women on this board. A girl can make a thread here post in it one about how she thinks her relationship may be ending and it explodes to over 10 pages. While a thread from a man will get far less attention. That's probably just the way humans are.
carhill Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 One thing I have noticed, is that there is a strong preference for helping women on this board. A girl can make a thread here post in it one about how she thinks her relationship may be ending and it explodes to over 10 pages. In general I agree and think this is largely due to women outnumbering men on LS by a huge margin, especially when it comes to active posting. However, here is a marked exception, and it appears to be headed to becoming one of the few single issue threads on LS I've seen to reach 1000 posts. Lately, it's largely been male posters 'helping'. Good on 'em.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 @somedude Agreed 100%. It is tiresome to see how many nice guys threads their are.... not to mention how even threads that don't start out dealing with that issue end up mutating into nice guy threads. A guy will post about his GF cheating on him. It sure can become a nice guy thread. The guy could be an ax murderer but if he's not successful with women he'll be called "nice". This happens in other places on the net too. It makes it hard to talk about certain issues without being grossly misunderstood. I also agree that it seems a woman will get more sympathy with relationship problems. But that's not just here that's in real life too. A man is expected to just buck up and suck it in and all that BS.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Absolutely. I think alot of the bitter men who post on L.S. just don't like women, especially the younger ones who have no actual real experience, who just feel bad about themselves and life generally. So LS is a board for them to vent their hatred generally and against women, creepy and sickening but there it is. One of the ways one knows this, is that they are rarely specific about their own feelings or experience (which would make one actually sympathetic). Instead, they just go into "hate generalisation" mode, moaning about money, sex or dates, though often they have no experience of ANY of these, usually in two-line posts, as really they have nothing of consequence to say. I give these posts a wide-berth especially when I see certain names. I don't think it's like that at all. I mean, I watch women here on LS respond to stereotypes with stereotypes. How does that make anybody any better than the men being called bitter? I work in high level sales. As I look around my industry I see almost no women. The women that do work with me usually don't last long, and struggle. The reason is because of the amount of rejection we face every day. For some reason it just seems like it isn't common for women to be able to handle the amount of rejection this job requires. Dating for men requires TONS of up front in your face rejection. Guys who have something going for them get enough positive reinforcement that they can learn coping strategies. Some guys are strong enough that they just fight through until they get enough success to learn how to ignore the rejection when it comes. Some guys are so attractive they barely get rejection. Then there are the guys who get rejection and zero positive reinforcement... and develop a strong fear of more rejection. They can't handle it, so they blame women in general. Since thus far all women have rejected them... it doesn't seem like that far of a stretch. Not to say young women don't have problems too... it's just those issues are different. Most women on LS can only understand their own problems. They can't and won't put the shoe on the other foot. They can give great advice to some people at some points... but for the most part their advice is not good. It's one dimensional because of an inability to understand the emotional situation of anyone besides themselves.
Kamille Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 One thing I have noticed, is that there is a strong preference for helping women on this board. A girl can make a thread here post in it one about how she thinks her relationship may be ending and it explodes to over 10 pages. Well. All the cases of women's threads exploding to 10 pages I can think of usually involve debates about whether or not these women are egotestical selfish insecure drama-queens who have no one but themselves to blame for the collapse of their relationship. I don't call that empathy.
somedude81 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Then there are the guys who get rejection and zero positive reinforcement... and develop a strong fear of more rejection. They can't handle it, so they blame women in general. Since thus far all women have rejected them... it doesn't seem like that far of a stretch.That's me described perfectly. There are only two ways to cope with the above. Become bitter about women or start hating oneself. Or a combination of the two. Of course the common advice I hear is, "You have to love yourself before somebody else can love you." Hello...I stopped loving myself because nobody else loves me. I didn't just one day decide to have low self-esteem Well. All the cases of women's threads exploding to 10 pages I can think of usually involve debates about whether or not these women are egotestical selfish insecure drama-queens who have no one but themselves to blame for the collapse of their relationship. I don't call that empathy. Heh probably true, I never go in those threads beyond the first page. I just see they get a lot of attention. No publicity is bad publicity
Mrlonelyone Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Dating for men requires TONS of up front in your face rejection. Yes. This is totally different from what women experience. What women experience is more like working in a store where no one even comes in the door. Women who have trouble with men get ignored... which can be painful too. Where as a man is often told to jump in the lake or called a creep or some other negative thing simply for asking for the time of day. Literally. Most women on LS can only understand their own problems. They can't and won't put the shoe on the other foot. They can give great advice to some people at some points... but for the most part their advice is not good. It's one dimensional because of an inability to understand the emotional situation of anyone besides themselves. I think you are being a little harsh here. The women here like most women can empathize. They do offer solutions. The trouble is that their solutions are often inappropriate for a man.
sally4sara Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) When I come across posts where the OP is going through a rough time but not vitriolic, I see empathy on both sides but a bit of bias in who takes interest in the thread. A male poster will not only get more male advise, but they also consider it more valuable even if they are not hateful towards female posters responding. This comes through in who they most often choose to interact with in the thread. The same happens when the OP is female. More women will take interest and the female OP will interact more with the female posters. So yes, I see a bias but I believe it is less about being bitter and more about who you identify with. There is a difference between being angry over one's situation and being bitter IMO. Angry OPs will have negative comments about the person upsetting them in the situation. Bitter OPs will take that anger out on any responding poster of the opposite gender. So why would anyone continue to lend empathy to a thread where they see anyone of their gender catching flack just for being of that gender? That isn't a bias at play on their part, its a bias on the part of the OP. And since most of the bitter, attacking threads are male OPs and LS has more female members - you will see little empathy being offered them as a result. I'm not saying there has never been a female OP being a bitter creep to male posters responding in their thread or starting a thread intent on insulting the entire male gender, I just don't see it near as often. What I see is bitter guys driving female posters away and crass, insulting male posters creating threads not to even get advise, but to actually stir up resentments - and these don't just get male empathy but also GLORY and ENCOURAGEMENT with a couple of guys telling them their being an ass. On the female side, the worst I see with any kind of frequency is some girl with a screwed moral compass shocked that anyone would find them at fault for the situation they're dealing with rather than attacking any male poster responding within her thread. But I don't see women encouraging her or cheering it on very often at all. Edited February 25, 2011 by sally4sara
Distant78 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 But I don't see women encouraging her or cheering it on very often at all. So you see no women encouraging bad destructive behavior but you see all the men "angry and bitter." That's biased.
sally4sara Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 So you see no women encouraging bad destructive behavior but you see all the men "angry and bitter." That's biased. find me a thread where a female poster is calling men dumb cunts and attacking male responders with un provoked insults. Hell find me one where women are telling other women to pump and dump men. The only place on here you will see women encouraging women to poor behavior in in the OW sub forum and you will see an equal amount of women discouraging the behavior as well.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 find me a thread where a female poster is calling men dumb cunts and attacking male responders with un provoked insults. Hell find me one where women are telling other women to pump and dump men. The only place on here you will see women encouraging women to poor behavior in in the OW sub forum and you will see an equal amount of women discouraging the behavior as well. I can't remember what poster or what thread, but someone did mention that if, by the third date, someone she was dating hadn't had sex with her, she would dump him. That is pretty heartless and callous. At least, I see it that way.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I can't remember what poster or what thread, but someone did mention that if, by the third date, someone she was dating hadn't had sex with her, she would dump him. That is pretty heartless and callous. At least, I see it that way. This is not heartless or callous. This is simply an example of someone having a certain expectation of who they would like to be with. It's a matter of values, if that girl feels that way then she will find someone who feels the same. Likewise, a guy that wants to wait past the third date to have sex will find someone who feels that way too.
sally4sara Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I can't remember what poster or what thread, but someone did mention that if, by the third date, someone she was dating hadn't had sex with her, she would dump him. That is pretty heartless and callous. At least, I see it that way. Is that a thread insulting the entire male gender and advising women to trick, use, make a mockery of men? Is it a thread where any male poster responding got verbally attacked? NO. Its a thread about one person's preference for the rate of seduction THEY adhere to.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Is that a thread insulting the entire male gender and advising women to trick, use, make a mockery of men? Is it a thread where any male poster responding got verbally attacked? NO. Its a thread about one person's preference for the rate of seduction THEY adhere to. Okay, you're absolutely right. I suppose there's a difference from the relationship forum I came from (ENA) and this one. I've actually been kind of shocked at the atmosphere on here - ENA was like a second family to me, and posters here have been really nasty to each other. It's like the reverse of ENA - that forum had too much moderation (I was banned for repeatedly using cuss words in my posts, and being unable to edit my own posts...that and the mods hated me on there. On here, you can use as many cuss words as you want, and there are no infractions...yet people are allowed to be mean and nasty to each other. It's like, which do you want, too much or too little moderation? I think we need more than one moderator. This forum has so much potential, and I see plenty of good people on here, but they get attacked by the posters that repeatedly break the rules and don't receive infractions. I've seen plenty of similar threads on other forums, but the thing is that a mod will step in and close it, or issue warnings/infractions, if things get too heated. That doesn't happen here, and people end up fighting, and feelings get hurt. And I wasn't saying that my example was the same thing. I was just giving it as an example of the only negative thing I've seen coming from the female side. I don't agree with all the nice guy threads, and I am somebody who subscribes to the idea that it's not all a bunch of bull. I just think someone needs to wave the white flag. Not all women are the same (even in the posts that I've made about nice guys, I've tried my best not to paint all women with the same brush), and this gender war is really ridiculous.
Author Woggle Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 I don't condone the generalizing misogynist threads and I am making an effort not to be so hateful but I really do not understand how people can't see the misandry on this forum. This is what I mean when I say that men and women have vastly different experiences. The hatred goes both ways on this board yet people only notice it when it is against them.
sally4sara Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I don't condone the generalizing misogynist threads and I am making an effort not to be so hateful but I really do not understand how people can't see the misandry on this forum. This is what I mean when I say that men and women have vastly different experiences. The hatred goes both ways on this board yet people only notice it when it is against them. I keep asking for educational examples we can learn from. Still getting none. 4 years on this site and I've never seen a thread where a woman calls all men stupid whores that are only good for using and discarding or calling any man who responds insulting names with other women chiming in with encouragement. Maybe it is a bias? Prove me wrong. Even if you can find one in the history of LS I can show you 10 in this year alone authored by a male OP and supported by male readers who find it amusing.
Author Woggle Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 You have to understand that misandry is much more suble than misogyny. You see it with somebody like Megandoll who outright said that men deserve to be cheated on and you see it in the threads where a woman who is blatantly wrong will get sympathy a man will never get.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Is that a thread insulting the entire male gender and advising women to trick, use, make a mockery of men? Is it a thread where any male poster responding got verbally attacked? NO. Its a thread about one person's preference for the rate of seduction THEY adhere to. The difference is this. A thread where a lady says we should kill kittens... and 99% of those who agree have never seen a kitten or may ever see a kitten. Or... a lady that posts... I always kill kittens, I've done it many times before, I enjoy it. What the hell? How does that even make sense to you? How is it that a guy who is so scared of women he wont even talk to them is MORE offensive than a woman who comes and posts that she has abused and cheated on every guy she has ever had a relationship with. I'm sorry, but because I have perspective on life... it's the people with specific stories and horrible misdeeds that really make my skin pale. Yet all the female posters just focus squarely on the guy that's never had a chance, then back pat or high five the HORRIBLE misdeeds of the women who post here. When a woman is being a crazy jerk to her BF... call her out for once! When I find one of those threads... Im 90% of the time the only one supporting sanity and treating people like humans. Okay, you're absolutely right. I suppose there's a difference from the relationship forum I came from (ENA) and this one. I've actually been kind of shocked at the atmosphere on here - ENA was like a second family to me, and posters here have been really nasty to each other. I get infractions all the time. I've been banned probably for at least a month 5 times since 2008. I can't imagine ENA being very helpful if everyone is afraid to talk. Sometimes it's the harshest posts that I get the most from. Sometimes I need a verbal slap to break a horrible train of thought.
Author Woggle Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 The difference is this. A thread where a lady says we should kill kittens... and 99% of those who agree have never seen a kitten or may ever see a kitten. Or... a lady that posts... I always kill kittens, I've done it many times before, I enjoy it. What the hell? How does that even make sense to you? How is it that a guy who is so scared of women he wont even talk to them is MORE offensive than a woman who comes and posts that she has abused and cheated on every guy she has ever had a relationship with. I'm sorry, but because I have perspective on life... it's the people with specific stories and horrible misdeeds that really make my skin pale. Yet all the female posters just focus squarely on the guy that's never had a chance, then back pat or high five the HORRIBLE misdeeds of the women who post here. When a woman is being a crazy jerk to her BF... call her out for once! When I find one of those threads... Im 90% of the time the only one supporting sanity and treating people like humans. I get infractions all the time. I've been banned probably for at least a month 5 times since 2008. I can't imagine ENA being very helpful if everyone is afraid to talk. Sometimes it's the harshest posts that I get the most from. Sometimes I need a verbal slap to break a horrible train of thought. This is what I meant as well. It might suck to hear your gender generalized but people who actually mistreat others make me much more angrier. Men venting really hurts nobody yet I see women who treat men horribly getting sympathy and in some cases being high fived. I see cheaters be treated like they are the victim when the OM turns out to not be so great as if their husband's feelings don't even matter. This is the kind of stuff that some women just don't see but is glaringly obviuous to men who have been on the receiving end of this kind of treatment.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Lol bro, just put S4S on ignore. That chick is annoying as ****, and naggy as hell - god, and I'm not even married to the bitch.
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