Why is there no empathy for bitter men?

February 17, 2011

I would love to live in a world like this but I don't. Just look at any issues that involves a man and a woman. The men will take the man's side and the women will take the woman's side. Trying to pretend that we don't live in a divided world won't help things.

This is hollow and I don't believe you when you say you'd love to live in that world. It exists. It is waiting for you, but the membership fee is to stop slopping around in the mud with other stupid people who run on hate.

And you're not ready to stop slopping around in the mud just yet so the entrance to that world eludes you.

Consider gang culture. Their whole world is being a member of their gang and opposing a shared target. One wonders what exists outside of the gang conflict and thinks to find out - the rest try to draw them back in or snuff them out for lacking solidarity. What life would be like without their gang is as much a mystery to them as what its like to be a member would be to someone who has never been exposed to it. You're down in the trenches fighting the Bloods. The Bloods, the same, fighting the Crypts.

The rest of us pass by, only noticing when the fray get particularly stupid, confused as to why you can't just drop it already. You in particular, a great mystery because it wouldn't matter if there was a physical pack of man hating warriors with a sweeping agenda - you're not single anymore and don't need to weather through a bunch of bad apples to find a safe haven. You're already there and still can't give up the ghost. Fer effs sake Woggle, why'd you even bother divorcing your ex if you're just going to act like she is still infecting your life?

(a woggle is a boy scout knot if I remember correctly; how very appropriate )

February 17, 2011

You're kidding right? Last I heard, WB haven't even tried to date, so how does one struggle when he hasn't tried? And from what I know, people grow from naivete, not from doing nothing. One does not learn anything from being bias to begin with.

Have you actually taken the time to ask him what holds him back? Find out why he is so scared to ask a girl out?

And all this you got from reading S_P and OG's posts? Last I heard, those two have issues and I doubt women everywhere actually want them to represent the entire gender as a whole.

Every time they put up a thread it gets 200+ posts of women trying to provide them guidance. The tone ranges from full on sympathy to mild frustration... but thats it.

When a guy like WB puts up a thread it's an act of war... and Yet so far I have not read about him actually DOING anything bad to a woman.

If the women here are willing to spend ungodly amounts of time guiding self centered users and abusers who are female.... Why can't they make even 1/10th the effort to help guys like that?

Instead they just relish in reinforcing whatever bad feelings he has.

February 17, 2011

Why should people, men and women included, help out WB when all he does is provide generalizations and insults to an entire gender? Not once have I seen him try to ask for advice on how to approach women. Perhaps if he did we would be more willing to help.

February 17, 2011

The rest of us pass by, only noticing when the fray get particularly stupid, confused as to why you can't just drop it already. You in particular, a great mystery because it wouldn't matter if there was a physical pack of man hating warriors with a sweeping agenda - you're not single anymore and don't need to weather through a bunch of bad apples to find a safe haven. You're already there and still can't give up the ghost. Fer effs sake Woggle, why'd you even bother divorcing your ex if you're just going to act like she is still infecting your life?
(a woggle is a boy scout knot if I remember correctly; how very appropriate )

S4S, I love reading your posts. Even when you disagree with me, you always challenge in a way that makes me take a hard look at my pov.

I can't answer for Woggle, but for me.... it's been really hard to let go. I feel she took advantage of the things that make me good. Now when I do good things for my GF I feel like a sucker. I hate it!

February 17, 2011

S4S, I love reading your posts. Even when you disagree with me, you always challenge in a way that makes me take a hard look at my pov.

I can't answer for Woggle, but for me.... it's been really hard to let go. I feel she took advantage of the things that make me good. Now when I do good things for my GF I feel like a sucker. I hate it!

This is one of the few things I agree with Fire on, just by speaking fro my own experience in the world of dating and relationships.

February 17, 2011

Have you actually taken the time to ask him what holds him back? Find out why he is so scared to ask a girl out?

I've seen some very patient posters who have put up with his threads and made sensible comments to ask him to address his issues. The only person who is not listening is him.

Every time they put up a thread it gets 200+ posts of women trying to provide them guidance. The tone ranges from full on sympathy to mild frustration... but thats it.

When a guy like WB puts up a thread it's an act of war... and Yet so far I have not read about him actually DOING anything bad to a woman.

If the women here are willing to spend ungodly amounts of time guiding self centered users and abusers who are female.... Why can't they make even 1/10th the effort to help guys like that?

Apparently you don't read their threads thoroughly then. For every thread that OG and SP start, the comments that encourages them to seek counseling and help lessens. I'm one of those posters that have read enough and don't particularly want to bother with them by the end. But I've seen posters like Teremere, StarGazer, Elyswth, Kamille, etc who tried to give sound and firm guidance only to have it fall on death ears. Even Mmm. Chaucers, the only poster to consistently call out their bad behavior, get attacked for trying to be the voice of reason. None of us were being sympathic, we neither tolerated or accepted their behaviours.

February 17, 2011

Why should people, men and women included, help out WB when all he does is provide generalizations and insults to an entire gender? Not once have I seen him try to ask for advice on how to approach women. Perhaps if he did we would be more willing to help.

Perhaps if someone reached out to him instead of everyone just being an Ahole back... he might change.

I have yet to see anyone really try to talk to him.

Seriously... I feel bad for him. Whatever his issues he is missing out on a big chunk of life. It's going to put him behind and make things even more frustrating when he goes to change later.

February 17, 2011

Perhaps if someone reached out to him instead of everyone just being an Ahole back... he might change.

I have yet to see anyone really try to talk to him.

Seriously... I feel bad for him. Whatever his issues he is missing out on a big chunk of life. It's going to put him behind and make things even more frustrating when he goes to change later.

Again, you're jumping to conclusions here are some posts that have tried to be reasonable and helpful-

I dont' think your a troll or hate women Wayne. I think you have been going after the wrong kind of women, users, posers, and just plain vitches. I think your probably under 25 or close to 25.

Not all women are like the ones you have met to date.

I have tried to break it down for you a couple of times. Here it is the secrets of what attracts women on a basic and instictive level regardless of what they may say.

Women are attracted to three kinds of men depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. Men who are physically (facially) masculine, Men who are creatively inteligent, and men who are physically (facially) feminine/less masculine. (http://www.epjournal.net/filestore/EP06134146.pdf A review article from the Journal of Evolutionary psychology. )

So forget that women want to be put on a pedestal.
So forget that women want men who are jerks.
So forget much of what women will say because they say it for the sake of social desireability.

It's all about doing one of two things. Being born either with good masculine genes, or good genes for creativity and mental ability, or demonstrating that you are a good long term provider.

Wayne, and men like you, may think by paying for everything you are demonstrating your long term provider potential. It more likely comes off as you looking like you want to "buy" the woman.

MrLonelyOne, WB has not even asked a woman out on a date. He is a teenager. He is using all of the stuff he spews as a self-protective shield to excuse him from taking any risks where the other sex is concerned, and he appears to be very cowardly about it - "blaming" all of his issues on women. With whom he has had little to no contact. Reasoning with him is of no avail, and helping him to blame women even further is negative.

Until WB is ready to get to know any women in real life, and to take what he experiences at face value rather than skewing it with his funny pre-concieved notions, which he shows no signs of EVER doing, he can just remain here as an LS mascot until he is an old and bent over virgin.

February 17, 2011

Perhaps if someone reached out to him instead of everyone just being an Ahole back... he might change.

I have yet to see anyone really try to talk to him.

Seriously... I feel bad for him. Whatever his issues he is missing out on a big chunk of life. It's going to put him behind and make things even more frustrating when he goes to change later.

Its hard to talk with someone when they refuse to listen to anyone but themselves.

Look, I've been in the lonely situation before. I didn't start dating till I was 23 because I always thought women didn't want a guy like me, they just wanted A-holes instead.

After the disaster that was my first relationship, I said screw it and went out there and tried. I've had success and failures, but at least I tried. I set aside my own opinions and let experience change how I saw things.

I learned that not all women are princesses, not all women want A-hole. I've met some pretty good, decent women who have become lifelong friends.

Just from reading WB posts, he doesn't even want to try. He just wants to sit on his computer and argue and pick fights.

February 17, 2011

Every time they put up a thread it gets 200+ posts of women trying to provide them guidance. The tone ranges from full on sympathy to mild frustration... but thats it.

When a guy like WB puts up a thread it's an act of war... and Yet so far I have not read about him actually DOING anything bad to a woman.

If the women here are willing to spend ungodly amounts of time guiding self centered users and abusers who are female.... Why can't they make even 1/10th the effort to help guys like that?

Instead they just relish in reinforcing whatever bad feelings he has.

Are we reading the same forum?

As far as I remember, I never saw OG and SP/NS go into a thread and spout random stupid gender-war BS that has nothing to do with the OP. People have posted threads asking for advice about dating, sex, and relationships, and WB seems to enjoy jumping in and telling the OP that women hate sex and that they would never willingly have sex with a man and blahblahblahblah. When a woman is asking for advice on sex, seeing "you must be lying because all women hate sex and are disgusted by it" in the thread is like tripping over a garbage bag someone dumped on the sidewalk. It's as helpful as me going into a thread where a husband is worried about his sexless marriage and saying I don't believe him because all men are rapists and he must be having sex with his wife against his will so his marriage isn't sexless.

I've never seen WB post a personal thread asking for advice. It's always "women are terrible, how come men have to do everything for those parasites?". It's nearly impossible to empathize with someone if they never mention their problems and just spend all their time spewing meaningless garbage based on what they read on the Internet.

February 17, 2011

I've seen some very patient posters who have put up with his threads and made sensible comments to ask him to address his issues. The only person who is not listening is him.

I've not seen that. I'm thinking I will give it a shot and see if there is some part of him that can still be reached.

The guy isn't all bad. I assume he just has some seriously low self esteem and anxiety issues. This is probably his only real outlet.

Apparently you don't read their threads thoroughly then. For every thread that OG and SP start, the comments that encourages them to seek counseling and help lessens. I'm one of those posters that have read enough and don't particularly want to bother with them by the end. But I've seen posters like Teremere, StarGazer, Elyswth, Kamille, etc who tried to give sound and firm guidance only to have it fall on death ears. Even Mmm. Chaucers, the only poster to consistently call out their bad behavior, get attacked for trying to be the voice of reason. None of us were being sympathic, we neither tolerated or accepted their behaviours.

Maybe I haven't read one of those threads in a while... but last time I checked they got plenty of sisterhood style sympathy and advice.

I've seen Kamille in particular put in TONS of time and effort. Maybe that was last year, but I'd like to see her put similar effort into one of these guys with an issue.

I personally stopped posting because the one time I explained how a guy might be thinking in a situation... it was used to manipulate him.

To the original point. Men when they have issues like this tend to be more openly aggressive and hostile. Push past that and you can see the same kind of underlying issues. Self esteem and anxiety problems. The women come looking specifically for SYMPATHY and tailor their posts to that... but it's the same crap underneath.

February 17, 2011

Originally Posted by Woggle

I would love to live in a world like this but I don't. Just look at any issues that involves a man and a woman. The men will take the man's side and the women will take the woman's side. Trying to pretend that we don't live in a divided world won't help things.

I challenge that. If you wanted to take the time, you could look through my posting history and see that I NEVER decide upon a "side" to take based upon someone's gender. There is particular behavior that I always challenge, no matter who exhibits it.

Originally posted by UntouchableFire:

Every time they put up a thread it gets 200+ posts of women trying to provide them guidance. The tone ranges from full on sympathy to mild frustration... but thats it.

When a guy like WB puts up a thread it's an act of war... and Yet so far I have not read about him actually DOING anything bad to a woman.

If the women here are willing to spend ungodly amounts of time guiding self centered users and abusers who are female.... Why can't they make even 1/10th the effort to help guys like that?

Instead they just relish in reinforcing whatever bad feelings he has.

I challenge this, too. I called those women out countless times on their atrocious behavior with and dehumanizing depictions of men. I was not the only one, either.

However, there is a difference that has already been mentioned. Those two (or that one, as I suspect) did tell "stories" that included specific situations that we could respond to. They didn't just come here and say "all men bla bla bla" and then sign off.

I really wonder how you can expect a person of any gender to respond "helpfully" to a poster like WB who says things like "all women hate sex" ad infinitum, ignoring the dozens (or hundreds) of actual women who inform him otherwise. Same goes for that Steve character.

Those kinds of posts are nothing more than base, prejudicial generalizations and really border on what would be termed "hate speech" if the gender were replaced by a specific race, or a sexual orientation (i.e. "gay people").

February 17, 2011

Its hard to talk with someone when they refuse to listen to anyone but themselves.
Look, I've been in the lonely situation before. I didn't start dating till I was 23 because I always thought women didn't want a guy like me, they just wanted A-holes instead.
After the disaster that was my first relationship, I said screw it and went out there and tried. I've had success and failures, but at least I tried. I set aside my own opinions and let experience change how I saw things.
I learned that not all women are princesses, not all women want A-hole. I've met some pretty good, decent women who have become lifelong friends.
Just from reading WB posts, he doesn't even want to try. He just wants to sit on his computer and argue and pick fights.

So tell me CG... what is holding WB back? Do you know? Have you tried to find out?

All I see is you swapping insults. You have had your struggles. Dating was easy for me. I started at 13. Even I can see this guy needs to just try. Encourage him to do so... Instead all I see is him defending himself 24/7.

Are we reading the same forum?
As far as I remember, I never saw OG and SP/NS go into a thread and spout random stupid gender-war BS that has nothing to do with the OP. People have posted threads asking for advice about dating, sex, and relationships, and WB seems to enjoy jumping in and telling the OP that women hate sex and that they would never willingly have sex with a man and blahblahblahblah. When a woman is asking for advice on sex, seeing "you must be lying because all women hate sex and are disgusted by it" in the thread is like tripping over a garbage bag someone dumped on the sidewalk. It's as helpful as me going into a thread where a husband is worried about his sexless marriage and saying I don't believe him because all men are rapists and he must be having sex with his wife against his will so his marriage isn't sexless.
I've never seen WB post a personal thread asking for advice. It's always "women are terrible, how come men have to do everything for those parasites?". It's nearly impossible to empathize with someone if they never mention their problems and just spend all their time spewing meaningless garbage based on what they read on the Internet.

I have a totally different reaction. Usually his stuff is so ludicrous it actually makes me laugh at first... until I remember that he is serious. Then that makes me sad for him. I don't really like that you equate him to garbage.

Anyways... the crap WB says just doesn't compare to the stuff those ladies actually DO. Intentionally making a guy feel like an incompetent lover? Messing around with your BF's best friend? WTF? Yet you think it's better than ranting about women in general on an internet forum.

February 17, 2011

S4S, I love reading your posts. Even when you disagree with me, you always challenge in a way that makes me take a hard look at my pov.

I can't answer for Woggle, but for me.... it's been really hard to let go. I feel she took advantage of the things that make me good. Now when I do good things for my GF I feel like a sucker. I hate it!

This is it. It is really a common thing amongst men who have been screwed by a woman before to feel like a doormat whenever he does something nice for a woman after that. After you get screwed over you never want to let it happen again. I know this is not healthy but I cringe at the thought of being a doormat. I would rather be dead.

February 17, 2011

So tell me CG... what is holding WB back? Do you know? Have you tried to find out?

All I see is you swapping insults. You have had your struggles. Dating was easy for me. I started at 13. Even I can see this guy needs to just try. Encourage him to do so... Instead all I see is him defending himself 24/7.

I just challenged him in his other thread, and when I get back on later tonight, I will do so again until I either get a straight answer from him, or he stops responding because he can't even answer.

February 17, 2011

So tell me CG... what is holding WB back? Do you know? Have you tried to find out?

All I see is you swapping insults. You have had your struggles. Dating was easy for me. I started at 13. Even I can see this guy needs to just try. Encourage him to do so... Instead all I see is him defending himself 24/7.

I have a totally different reaction. Usually his stuff is so ludicrous it actually makes me laugh at first... until I remember that he is serious. Then that makes me sad for him. I don't really like that you equate him to garbage.

Anyways... the crap WB says just doesn't compare to the stuff those ladies actually DO. Intentionally making a guy feel like an incompetent lover? Messing around with your BF's best friend? WTF? Yet you think it's better than ranting about women in general on an internet forum.

U_F if you're so confident he can be changed, please, do it yourself. We've been reasonable as is, and it is neither our duty to babysit or monitor his progress.

February 17, 2011

Why should people, men and women included, help out WB when all he does is provide generalizations and insults to an entire gender? Not once have I seen him try to ask for advice on how to approach women. Perhaps if he did we would be more willing to help.

Where have I actually insulted a woman? I get way more insults thrown at me than I dish back. But offcourse you don't bring that up...

February 17, 2011

Originally Posted by Woggle

I challenge that. If you wanted to take the time, you could look through my posting history and see that I NEVER decide upon a "side" to take based upon someone's gender. There is particular behavior that I always challenge, no matter who exhibits it.

You might but in general people tend to side with their own and this includes men and women. If a woman ever had a cheating scandal like Tiger Woods or Jesse James you would see how divided men and women really are these days.

February 17, 2011

I have to say that most of the women here have actually been very sympathetic to my issues. It is actually a good part of the reason why I don't see women in general as the enemy anymore.

February 17, 2011

U_F if you're so confident he can be changed, please, do it yourself. We've been reasonable as is, and it is neither our duty to babysit or monitor his progress.

Reasonable huh? You call me a troll and a misogynist and thats pretty much it... Theres no reason in that, and it just further proves m point.

February 17, 2011

Originally posted by UntouchableFire:
I challenge this, too. I called those women out countless times on their atrocious behavior with and dehumanizing depictions of men. I was not the only one, either.
However, there is a difference that has already been mentioned. Those two (or that one, as I suspect) did tell "stories" that included specific situations that we could respond to. They didn't just come here and say "all men bla bla bla" and then sign off.
I really wonder how you can expect a person of any gender to respond "helpfully" to a poster like WB who says things like "all women hate sex" ad infinitum, ignoring the dozens (or hundreds) of actual women who inform him otherwise. Same goes for that Steve character.
Those kinds of posts are nothing more than base, prejudicial generalizations and really border on what would be termed "hate speech" if the gender were replaced by a specific race, or a sexual orientation (i.e. "gay people").

You call everyone out. Including me. The last time I read one of those threads you were in fact THE ONLY person who spoke out against the OP's treatment of men.

I will be the first to admit I can be dense as bricks, but even I can see there is something hurting behind this "hate speech."

I will tell you that as long as people respond to him in the manner he is expecting, he will focus on that and it will propell him forward. Fan the flames if you like. It helps nobody.

February 17, 2011

I just challenged him in his other thread, and when I get back on later tonight, I will do so again until I either get a straight answer from him, or he stops responding because he can't even answer.

I think this should be the route we take if movement is desired. I've tried before, but just remember so long as there is someone making him feel the victim he will focus on that instead.

U_F if you're so confident he can be changed, please, do it yourself. We've been reasonable as is, and it is neither our duty to babysit or monitor his progress.

I can't even try as long as the LS Ladies keep harping at him in an unhelpful manner. He will always focus on your arguments first!

Anyway... as a guy there is only so much I can do for him anyway. You females hold the power to rock his world... not me.

Where have I actually insulted a woman? I get way more insults thrown at me than I dish back. But offcourse you don't bring that up...

Reasonable huh? You call me a troll and a misogynist and thats pretty much it... Theres no reason in that, and it just further proves m point.

Just in case you were not believing that he focuses on the victimization. Stop feeding it, please.

February 17, 2011

Hell, I'm 28 and never even kissed a girl or held her hand romantically, but even I can recognize that wayne is off his rocker.

My excuse is social anxiety. What's his excuse? Mental retardation?

February 17, 2011

I have a totally different reaction. Usually his stuff is so ludicrous it actually makes me laugh at first... until I remember that he is serious. Then that makes me sad for him. I don't really like that you equate him to garbage.

I didn't equate him to garbage, but I feel like a lot of what he writes is precisely that. "Women hate sex" posts in a thread where someone is asking for advice on how to please their partner are, IMO, garbage posts, no matter who writes them. I actually think he's either a very damaged person or someone who's having a really good laugh at all the reactions his comments get.

Most of his posts are totally ludicrous and over-the-top, which is why I don't respond. If he's being serious, my getting irritated/upset at him isn't going to help, and if he's having fun, then my responding will only make him post more.

Anyways... the crap WB says just doesn't compare to the stuff those ladies actually DO. Intentionally making a guy feel like an incompetent lover? Messing around with your BF's best friend? WTF? Yet you think it's better than ranting about women in general on an internet forum.

I stopped posting in OG and SP/NS's threads because it was getting ridiculous. They only responded positively to posts that they agreed with, and they both seemed to focus and obsess over the negative posts, so trying to help them became completely useless. Do you remember the thread about intentionally making the guy feel like he sucked in bed? Almost everyone who responded took issue with that behavior. I personally was completely disgusted by it, and, yes, at the end of the day, the behavior does a lot more damage to people than stupid "women hate sex, women are parasites" comments.

I still think if people posted about actual concrete problems instead of "men are gross pigs" or "women are parasites" or "men only like girls with big boobs!" or "chicks only dig tall guys," they'd get better responses.

February 17, 2011

Where have I actually insulted a woman? I get way more insults thrown at me than I dish back. But offcourse you don't bring that up...

so calling all women princesses who only care for themselves is not an insult?.

Sign In

Why is there no empathy for bitter men?

Recommended Posts

sally4sara

Untouchable_Fire

collegeguy_24

Untouchable_Fire

collegeguy_24

xpaperxcutx

Untouchable_Fire

xpaperxcutx

collegeguy_24

sweetjasmine

Untouchable_Fire

Mme. Chaucer

Untouchable_Fire

Woggle

collegeguy_24

xpaperxcutx

waynebrady

Woggle

Woggle

waynebrady

Untouchable_Fire

Untouchable_Fire

LeaningIntoTheMuse

sweetjasmine

collegeguy_24

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...