nicole1330 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 My boyfriend and I have been together for little over a year. Two weeks ago he told me that he isn't happy and he thinks we should be friends for awhile and take a break. I was surprised because we had been getting along really well and I was happy. We argue once in awhile but never over anything serious. He says he wasn't happy because he felt like I yelled at him all the time and everything he did was wrong. It was something that I had been working on and he was aware of it. Just over the christmas break I went to visit his whole family and got along really well with everyone. I'm not sure what to think, we've hung out 2 times since our break and it has been really good but he tells me that he isn't ready to get back together. I ask him if he has any hope it can work between us and he says that if he didn't think so he wouldn't want to spend time with me. I told him my main issue is I can't be "friends " with him if he is single and can meet and date other woman. He is persistant that to make this work we can't be exlusive anymore and have to be single. He tells me he is not interested in dating other woman. As of now I have decided to keep my distance though it's been hard. Has anyone else been in this position? Thanks!
holly4u Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 This is a good thing in the future once he gets more comfortable with you he will slowly start to change his mind to maybe going back in a relaitonship with you
xpaperxcutx Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 In other words : " Nicole, I really want to date other people but I still want you as a friend in case things don't work out with them. Easy win-win for me!" Really, now, do you want to be the backup?
packers393 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 The exact same thing is happening to me right now, I was doing NC for about a week and a half... I caved today and messaged her. It went ok, we might meet up next week, she said maybe.
depplover_1980 Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 Erm he doesn't want to date other girls but you can't be exclusive. SO he is also lying to you, does he think you're dumb? Though reading your story you do come across as very naive and easy to manipulate, hence he is trying to create his dream scenario. Obviously there is a part of you that realises something is a miss and that gives me hope you'll be able to start standing up for yourself a bit more. You need to tell him that he needs to make his mind up, as you aren't going to wait forever and then go no contact - you'll find help on how to do that all over the board. What kind of nagging is he accusing you of?
holly4u Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 the other side also is dont let him just lie to you, make him be straight forward. Dont let him think if you guys are friends he can hook up with you and other girls at the same time thats a no no
Trovador Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 Even if he really doesn't want another girl (and what man doesn't), being friends is a drag... the uncertainty, the overanalyzing of the other's words and acts, the feeling of being demoted, the prohibition of talking about the relationship... It's not worthy...
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