california15 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 So I'm trying it again with a boyfriend I had in highschool. We're both out of college now and want to give it another go (1,000 mile distance - but this time only for a 6 months before well be in the same city) When we leave each other, I cry. Usually starts the night before and I still cry the morning we part, and the whole day after we leave. And if I'm on the plane home, I cry the whole flight. He never cries and says we had a great time and we'll see each other again next month and he's fine. I know he hates it when I cry. I want to be fine too. What do you do to not be so sad when you leave? Does it get easier? My days after we part are ruined because Im just so upset. I dont want to freak him out either by being so... attached? I figured you guys would have the best advice, since you can relate.
aerogurl87 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I just cry to be honest. I hate it cause it makes my boyfriend start crying when he sees me cry, which in turn makes me even sadder. But I can't help it, leaving him is painful emotionally and physically for me. The only time it's gotten easier was this last time as he kept reminding me at the airport that when he left it would be the last time we'd have to be apart for weeks at a time.
folieadeux Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 It doesn't get any easier, but you just get used to it. At least your distance is only temporary and you'll be reunited in 6 month's time. I've said it a thousand times, but the one thing that make me feel better is planning for the future and our next visit. I'm the one who always breaks down and cries, starting usually days before the visit actually ends. My boyfriend refuses to cry in front of me but has done so several times over the phone.
creighton0123 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 "What do you do to not be so sad when you leave? Does it get easier? My days after we part are ruined because Im just so upset. I dont want to freak him out either by being so... attached?" Does it get easier? No. You do, however, get used to it. Think about it from a relative time perspective. Think about New Years Eve. Now think that as of next week, we're already two months through 2011. Six months is nothing. The time will fly by. Perhaps you can routine your countdown like I do (get a marker board and 'x' off a day before you go to sleep every night and reduce the number. Instead of focusing on the total number, focus on reductions of 10 days. I know that I get extreme satisfaction when I reach milestones... Started out at 386 days and now I'm down to 284 days. It really, really helps putting time in perspective and realizing how fast time truly flies. When it comes to communication, don't crave it. You don't need communication to function. You DON'T have to talk every day. Boyfriend and I say this all the time. I don't have to talk to him every day. Neither of us will break down and lose it if we can't talk every day. Instead, let him know that you like to communicate for a short time every day. You look forward to talking to him and it makes your days/nights better. I'd suggest Skype with video chat. Even if you don't have anything to say, having the video line open with both people on mute simulates sharing a space. Last thought: You most likely feel that when you're home after your visits, your bed is way too big. Get plenty of pillows... like an ocean of pillows. They help. They really do.
HeavenOrHell Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I don't cry when we part as I'm still on a high from being with him and not looking ahead to not being with him, but once he's gone I get a bit tearful, but I don't get too upset as I feel so happy from seeing him and that usually lasts a couple of days, then I can get low and negative, so I talk to him as much as possible and keep as busy as possible, see friends and work AND plan the next meeting, planning the next meeting is vital as far as I'm concerned, then you can count the days and look forward to it and anticipate it. Maybe you could think about what a wonderful time you've had rather then focussing on the fact you're parting for a while? I've got more used to our time apart now, and the time before meeting again goes more quickly (every 6-7 weeks). So I'm trying it again with a boyfriend I had in highschool. We're both out of college now and want to give it another go (1,000 mile distance - but this time only for a 6 months before well be in the same city) When we leave each other, I cry. Usually starts the night before and I still cry the morning we part, and the whole day after we leave. And if I'm on the plane home, I cry the whole flight. He never cries and says we had a great time and we'll see each other again next month and he's fine. I know he hates it when I cry. I want to be fine too. What do you do to not be so sad when you leave? Does it get easier? My days after we part are ruined because Im just so upset. I dont want to freak him out either by being so... attached? I figured you guys would have the best advice, since you can relate.
LittleTiger Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 What do I do? I cry like a baby! At the airport I'm not fit to be seen in public. It's absolutely pathetic. I'm an emotional wreck for at least two days before we part and there doesn't seem to be a damn thing I can do about it. I'm so rational and logical about most things but when it comes to being physically separated from my SO after 4 or 5 weeks together and knowing I won't see him for 3 months, my emotions take over. I do usually calm down by the time the plane takes off though - thank goodness. I'm going to go against the majority here and say it doesn't get easier and you don't get used to it. I know that's not very helpful or encouraging but it is the reality. For me it gets harder every time - but we're all different. On the plus side, you only have to do this for 6 months and, as others have said, it will fly by. Creighton describes the whole LDR experience rather well I think. Skype is a must and a calendar count down is a great idea. Don't worry about being emotional, I'm sure your bf understands and if you didn't cry you wouldn't be you. We all deal with things differently so don't beat yourself up for doing something that's very normal when you're in an LDR.
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