Rayke Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 (edited) My GF on nine months dumped me in December. I know nine months isn't a *long* time, but I was in love with her. I had been in longer relationships in the past, but this was the only girl I had ever actually fallen in love with. I managed to make a smart decision that night by deleting her from Facebook. So to make a really long story short: She said she dumped me because she has some mental health issues that she wanted to take care of on her own (Bipolar, diagnosed depression, codependency issues, insomnia, attempted suicide once). I know that I shouldn't be hung up over someone with all these issues, but the heart wants what the heart wants. I obviously can't control it. She said she had become too codependent on me, and that we got together too soon after her previous relationship ended, AND she wanted to check herself into a mental health day-treatment facility, so she just needed to be single and work through all this stuff on her own. She was doing the right thing. I understand that *now*, but I spent the next two weeks basically begging her to take me back. Which was wrong, I know. And then we tried being friends for another week or two and it just wasn't working because the conversation always turned to "us". So, I decided to go NC and let her work her stuff out on her own, and just assumed that we would reconnect sometime later and I'd get to see her as a "better" person. Over the month of no contact, a lot of amazing things have happened to me that made me not think about her for a lot of the time. I still missed her a lot, and thought about her a few times a day, but I was no longer obsessive about it. I had began moving on and was having a great time. Fast forward to last Wednesday, after a month of no contact, she texted me "I miss you". We talked for a sec and agreed to go to an improv show together on Saturday. The show was kind of weird just because we tried to keep the conversation very "surface level" without digging in too deep. She was acting very flirty and went out of her way to touch me a lot. And at the end of the night she mentioned that we had not had a lot of time to "just talk" and that we needed to get together again soon so we can talk about our lives. Me, being the naive idiot that I am, took this as her way of saying the she was ready to admit she made a mistake and that we should talk about us reconciling, even though I'm not exactly sure that's something I'd want considering how great the last month of my life has been. She mentioned that night that she had not checked herself into the facility (yet), and as far as I could tell she had done nothing to "better herself" like she said she had wanted to when we broke up. Fast forward again, to last night. One of my friends called me to tell me that she was listed as being "In A Relationship" on Facebook with some dude named Jake. My heart sank. After thinking about her, and "us", and debating with myself over whether or not I wanted to take her back all the time since I saw her Saturday...it all made sense. She didn't want to make time for us to "talk" so she could apologize and try to reconcile, she wanted us to "talk" so she could tell me she's dating someone else. Knowing her as well as I do, I don't think it will last. But this is not what I am upset about. I am upset because she told me we broke up because she was too codependent, she wanted to help herself, and she wanted to be *single*. She has done nothing in that regard, and I finally realized last night that she was probably lying about all of that and that there was something else that caused her to break up with me. Whether it was the fact that she like this guy before we broke up, or something about me/something I did...it's driving me insane. I can't believe she did this. I know that time is going to help me the most, and I shouldn't contact her at all. And I know that it will feel better a week from now, and even better than that a month from now. But for NOW, this sucks. I'm genuinely wondering what I did wrong to push her away. I really loved her, and I know she really loved me too. She was the first one to use the word "love". I feel much better writing about/posting this here than I would if I texted her demanding answers. Hopefully, these feelings will pass soon. Edited February 16, 2011 by Rayke
Author Rayke Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 Again, any insight would be great. Could she be rebounding? Trying to make me jealous? Or should I just accept the fact that this has nothing to do with me and she's genuinely found someone she likes regardless of the things she told me when we broke up? Here's a link to the "original" post I put on here a bit over a month ago if anyone needs/cares enough to read additional information: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t260349/ Thanks.
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