waynebrady Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3250119&postcount=18 I've seen other women post similar things and then say like "im a pretty giving person" "i give as good as i get" "its not a one way street" "it should go both ways"... It sure don't seem like it. What is it that you give back? What is it that's supposed to goes both ways then? What do you ever do for your man? You've all been telling me how wrong I am, alright fine proove it. Because I see several posts every week to support what I've been saying all along.
Cee Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 In my life, there is always reciprocity in every healthy dating/romantic situation. Here's an example... My BF had a big presentation last night (Tuesday). On Monday night (Valentine's Day), we had a date and he spent the night at my place. After we were intimate, he started to share about his anxiety about the talk. I rubbed his back while he talked about his fears. Then he said, "I'm sorry for being needy. I haven't asked about you. You have your own stressful things at work" I replied, "It's good that you are sharing. I like to be helpful and needed. When I need help, I know you'll be there." The next night (last night), I went to the presentation to be supportive of him. Also, I adore him and wanted to look at him. I enjoyed the talk immensely although it was over my head. He was very excited that the talk went well and we processed the details of the evening. He was glowing with pride and I was proud too. At the end of the night, my BF thanked me profusely for coming to the talk and said it meant a lot to him. Him saying that meant a lot to me. Then he invited me to his place to spend the night. I happily accepted and we had sex, cuddled, and went to sleep. I don't think I was the giver in this situation. I feel touched that he invited me to support him. I receive as much as I give. It's a circle to me. (Sorry to gush, but I am so happy from last night)
Leeway Harris Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3250119&postcount=18 You've all been telling me how wrong I am, alright fine proove it. Because I see several posts every week to support what I've been saying all along. It sounds like you've already made your mind up about this. What could anyone possibly say that would change it? Serious question.
SingVoice Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Wow waynebrady...I'm new to this site...but EVERY post that you have commented on is SO negative!! Someone must have really hurt you bad. I'm sorry. You know what though? I'll admit it...both men AND women can be jerks. And I agree with Cee...it's about both giving and receiving. When people really do care about each other they WANT to do things for each other. I can't tell you how many times I have gotten my boyfriends a "just because" card and left it on their car...or made them a special dinner...or planned AND paid for an entire day of activities...or threw them birthday parties...or given them long backrubs after a tough day...even if we were fighting and someone needed me I went to them...and you know what? I was never looking for anything in return. When you care about someone you WANT to do things. You WANT to make an effort. You WANT to make them feel special. Wayne it almost sounds like you go out just WAITING to be let down. And if you do that...you most certainly will be. (Please note I am not trying to be mean to you or attack you...)
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3250119&postcount=18 You've all been telling me how wrong I am, alright fine proove it. Because I see several posts every week to support what I've been saying all along. Evidently you can read. Prove it to yourself by reading all the myriad of posts that do NOT support what you have been saying all along, and believing them. For the record, my response to the link you posted: SO WHAT? She knows what she wants and likes, and evidently she finds men who are happy to go along with that. What does that have to do with you?
Cracker Jack Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I seriously think you need to let go of this constant bitterness. It really does you no good.
GooseChaser Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 1. Gather group of random women in person 2. Ask them, "What do you ever do for your man?" and refer to one-way streets 3. ??? 4. Profit
Ms. Joolie Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 waynebrady, you need some Love Medicine.
depplover_1980 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I thought this was a thread on anal sex before I opened it!!
Mrlonelyone Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Wayne that's one woman. Not all women have that attitude.
Von Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Wayne buddy, I dont post alot on here, but I read alot of your posts and I agree with alot of what you say. But it's not always a one way street for every woman. Mostly just the selfish ones. It's pretty easy to weed those ones out if you have perspective to do so. But in my experience, in general most women give more then men. AFTER the beginning courtship phase. In the beginning there's alot of Back and forth games. :-(
oaks Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I thought this was a thread on anal sex before I opened it!! You should be so lucky.
Whatshername Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I was so much a giver. In the beginning, when I think back, WOW, I did a lot! But alas, he was not a giver, but a taker. He showed love by being there, time, service(working on my car, etc). So, I tapered these things down, as really to him, they were not all that meaningful. Things like handmade cards, special desserts, remembering the little things, backrubs, you name it. I did always cook for him and he always appreciated that. I figured, he's a guy and eats poorly most of the week, I want to make sur, but I preferred cooking for him. After a time, even tho I tapered back, I would still buy him clothes, or a book I thought he'd like, or clean for him while he worked on my car. He just never seemed to have the capacity to give back, like he didn't think about me, so cards, or even remembering to have milk for my coffee, as I can't stand it without it. Little things like even a text were like squeezing blood out of a turnip. Like if I wanted it, he'd not do it. I always had soy milk for him though. It was pretty much a one way street. He did most of the driving, which at 86 miles was a lot, for the first few years as I had a daughter at home. I appreciated it, and let him know often. But I think, for some reason, he thought that bc he did that, that was all he really needed to do. He never made any plans he never asked me what I wanted to do, he'd jsut show up and well, he was really not that social so I had to get creative to have fun without always going out. He even complained once that he felt he was just "along for the ride". DUH. I said, PLEASE, feel free to come up with ideas/plan something. Nope. Too lackadaisical. He would rather me do it, and feel entitled to his thinking I am unappreciative of all the driving and blah blah blah. Igave til I was blue in the face. It hurts, when they are not even thoughtful. Why did I stay, only in the end to be cheated on. I gave too much and he did NOT appreciate it. Next guy........well, it won't be right off that he gets a home cooked meal, you can bet your booty.
fishtaco Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Cee, reading your post gave me diabetes. But... this forum is generally very negative, because people come here with problems, including me. So it's nice to hear a good story once in a while. But not too much. Let's not forget the lesson we learned from The Matrix. If things are too happy, we'll wake up and not be human batteries anymore, and having to eat goop instead of steak.
SmileFace Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I thought this was a thread on anal sex before I opened it!! OH! that will explain the Deeplover... oh wait that is "depp - lover" nevermind haha! Mmm, Depp!
Kamille Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Oh wow! WayneB, you're finally proved it. You've cracked the code! You're right. That post by one stranger in an internet forum irrevocably proves that we women are selfish selfish selfish. Thanks for enlightening me and teaching me the way to my inner nature. No more Mrs. Nice Girl. Boyfriend better dish out the dough from now on and cater to my every need. I was planning this romantic date for him but scratch that idea. It would be lying about who I am.
Author waynebrady Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 Oh wow! WayneB, you're finally proved it. You've cracked the code! You're right. That post by one stranger in an internet forum irrevocably proves that we women are selfish selfish selfish. Thanks for enlightening me and teaching me the way to my inner nature. No more Mrs. Nice Girl. Boyfriend better dish out the dough from now on and cater to my every need. I was planning this romantic date for him but scratch that idea. It would be lying about who I am. I've seen plenty of women say the same thing basicly, you rarely say it outright though except for in that post.... you're good at sugar coating it
Kamille Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I've seen plenty of women say the same thing basicly, you rarely say it outright though except for in that post.... you're good at sugar coating it So now that you have clear proof, thanks to this one post, that all women are selfish, what do you plan to do with the information?
Author waynebrady Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 Wayne that's one woman. Not all women have that attitude. True, not all. Maybe not even a majority, but a significant amount of women do have that attitude. That's clear just by reading this forum. And it's funny... When anyone questions that attitude they ALWAYS get branded as a misogynistic woman hater by the ladys. Is it really so hard to understand why some(such as myself) come across as bitter when alot of you women have that attitude? When women call me bitter or misogynistic that just further proves my point about how princessy and "me me me" attitudeish they are. I never post anything outright hateful about women I just question the attitude that men should do all the work and put in all the effort. Women always talk about what the man must do and all the effort the man must put in, in dating them and in relationships... It's like it's all on the man and that he should feel priveleged to be graced by your presence And if the man doesn't do all these things then he's a women hating jerk Rarely if ever do I see women talking about what they actually do for their man, I got genuinly happy when I saw Cee's and SingVoice's posts... so atleast theres some women like that out there. But that women in general give as good as they get? Biggest joke I've ever heard.
Author waynebrady Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 So now that you have clear proof, thanks to this one post, that all women are selfish, what do you plan to do with the information? Let me get one thing straightened out for you. I WANT to be proven wrong, it makes me happy and hopeful that there are normal down to earth kinda women out there. And yes I have seen alot of women prove me wrong, and I like that, but theres not reason for me to quote them... But it doesn't mean I don't see them. But STILL there's undoubtedly a significant amount of women who have the princessy "the man must do all the work and put in all the effort" attitude out there... Sure it might not even be the majority, Im not sure but theres enough of them to make me bitter and resentful... atleast for a while. Until I see some woman prove that it's not the case. Let me put it this way, for every woman I see who confirms my "fears" I need too see atleast 4 women who aren't like that before I calm down
Kamille Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 Any way to convince you to lower down that ratio? Ideally it should be for every one woman that proves your theory, you only need one woman who isn't like that. But I'd settle for a 1:2 ratio. The important thing is that you learn how to trust your instincts when it comes to women. I had to do the same thing with men. Once you have faith in your own capacity to discern the princess from the generous women, then you need never fear ending up with a princess. Once you have faith in your capacity to chose the right partner for you, you'll never have to worry about selfish women again.
MrNate Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 Are you seriously going to go by that one post? She was even wrong saying men are 'pleasers' by nature. Men are NOTHING by nature except testosterone bearing, penis-slinging mammals. It's is not a man's job to please anyone. As far as I'm concerned, if you want my effort and attention, you better be sure I will get it in return. C;mon man, this is common knowledge. It is never a man's job to please a woman (I think this is something that keeps a lot of us from reaching our potential with women), nor the other way around. A relationship is simply about giving. Why complicate it?
Shocking Pink Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 Mr. Nate you are wise and I love your new avatar!
MrNate Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 Mr. Nate you are wise and I love your new avatar! Thank you pink:cool:
Author waynebrady Posted February 17, 2011 Author Posted February 17, 2011 Are you seriously going to go by that one post? She was even wrong saying men are 'pleasers' by nature. Men are NOTHING by nature except testosterone bearing, penis-slinging mammals. It's is not a man's job to please anyone. As far as I'm concerned, if you want my effort and attention, you better be sure I will get it in return. C;mon man, this is common knowledge. It is never a man's job to please a woman (I think this is something that keeps a lot of us from reaching our potential with women), nor the other way around. A relationship is simply about giving. Why complicate it? No, read my thread again. That was an example, and I have seen several women who are like that. And yes I do realise not all women are like that, maybe not even the majority, but theres enough of them to make me bitter.
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