paiger Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I'm sort of just in the first weeks of NC and it's pretty tough. I mean after all, talking to someone everyday for over a year, and then suddenly having them disappear from your life can be quite a shock to your system... lol. Just curious how far some of you guys are in "no contact". Have you given in and contacted them ever? And do you think you'll ever actually be friends with your ex again?
nowwhatnow Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 i am about 4 months NC, 5 months since the break and he has not tried to contact me. but he has asked some mutual friends about me. i miss him a lot and even though it hurts a little less than it did at the beginning, im still in state of waiting for him to come back to me.
mridul_chajilee Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 13 month running.But still i hope oneday she wil reliase and will contact me.But NC is so tough than algebra.
PowerOfOne Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Coming up on 3 months now. No attempts at contact from either side since the night we broke up.
depplover_1980 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 13 days since I contacted him and 15 since I heard from him. Can I just say to the others who are like months and still in hope - it's not going to happen! Please don't live your lives in wait when there's a whole world out there.
sweetblubrry Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 It will be 3 weeks tomororw. Though I did say hi to him at work because we do work together. But he has not tried to talk to me at all. I miss him so much from my life. It hurts. How do they go from being such a big part of your life and day, to suddenly disappearing? I don't understand.
shocked_confused Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 91 days for me, I actually lost track for a while there and had to count! But ya we stopped talking completely about a week and a half after we broke up. i haven't tried contacting him and vice versa. Sad thing to happen after almost 6 years, but I know I'll find someone more deserving of my love!
Author paiger Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 Some of you guys have been doing no contact for so long! Isn't the point of no contact to to basically get over the person? And after 3 months + wouldn't you WANT to be over that person instead of keeping that seed of hope left? :S I do understand how hard it is though. It took an army in my head to restrain me from calling the ex last night just to see whatsup.
willpower Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Some of you guys have been doing no contact for so long! Isn't the point of no contact to to basically get over the person? And after 3 months + wouldn't you WANT to be over that person instead of keeping that seed of hope left? :S I do understand how hard it is though. It took an army in my head to restrain me from calling the ex last night just to see whatsup. Exactly right, NC is not about getting them back - it's about getting yourself fixed. I'm 4 months in, to be fair only 3 of that has been NC. I'm not waiting but I think if your mind had started to subconsciously accept this person as a permanent part of your life it's going to tale time to heal. I've dated, and one night stander since but no ones been close to her so far. Still crying before bed and waking up in shock. It will take a new person to get rid of this. My life is good at the moment, everything is going so well for me except I let the girl I loved go. It's hard but we have no choice but to push on. Stay strong guys and girls!
Layzie89 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Feb. 18th will mark my 3rd week of NC with my ex gf. I won't lie when I say that as of now, my hopes are still that she'll realize what we had was true and she'll come back. NC has helped with the pain however...and maybe after a month or two of NC that lingering hope of reconciliation will fade and I will see NC for what it really is...a time to heal and grow. Thanks LS for the support.
gator12 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Guys all of you are doing it wrong. It is okay to want your ex to come back sure. But "waiting for them" clinging to that hope is the opposite of what you should be doing. You should be living for you right now and if they come back then fine if not you will be well on your way to moving on. I promise you, things will get better but not if you cling to the hope that you have of them coming back, it slows your healing tremendously. Read my guide to NC in my sig if you need advice on how to maintain it or how to better understand NC. Oooo and I've been NC about 2 months now, 3 months since breakup. I actually went NC for 2 weeks, then she contacted, then 2 weeks later back to NC. She's contacted me at least 50 times over the last 2 weeks, but I am following my own advice and not biting until she tells me what I want to hear. This is where many of you guys will make mistakes if they actually do come back. -Gator
JasonRules Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I was in NC for 13 days. She contacted me, spoke for 2.5 hours, went on a 5 hour date, and have been in daily contact ever since. Whether we will end up back together I cannot say for certain, but I'm pretty optimistic. Whatever is meant to be will be and whatever isn't will not... All we can do is look at life and smile right back no matter what happens
justletgox51 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I am a month and 21 days of NC. Neither of us has initiated contact because I guess he has moved on... /: It's still hard for me because I always see him at school, but whatever.
makelemonade1974 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I went three weeks no contact in November and then broke it. I went 5 weeks no contact after that and then tried to touch base politely w/ an email in January - was ignored. I am SO over it. The bastard deserves no more of my attempts to reach out and be "friendly acquaintances" since we work together. He can kiss my ass with his silent treatment. NEVER AGAIN will I try to contact him. I hope he falls off the face of the earth. In 4 days I'll be 30 days NC - woo hoo!!!
depplover_1980 Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 Jason, I've been following your stories and I like the mindset you've created for yourself, but I fear you're not following the advice you often give others and convincing yourself it's somehow different. This is not meant in anyway other than I hope you'll be ok and not hurt further that you previously were. She is getting you nicely in the friend zone right now. x
0hpenelope Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 I have NO idea. My friends are the ones who know when and I've mentioned this before that immediately after the break-up, I decided for myself that I'm not going to count the days, weeks, or months since I last spoke to/kissed/touched/etc. ex. I learned from a different break-up that counting the time slows my healing down. I'm treating him like he's dead to me, since we're never going to see each other again and I haven't heard from him. From that, I convinced myself that I will never speak to him again. His silence is very telling of how he really doesn't care about me anymore, so he really is as good as dead to me. I think about him still and I don't feel an emotional impact like I used to, so I know I'm coping really well. Good luck, all!
Hhhh Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 sometimes when you ex breaks NC it only means they are afraid to let go so they string you along their ride to healing. cut them the **** out
superkid Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 Hi everybody, After my ex girlfriend broke our relationship of 2 years with me about a month ago, she was already seeing another guy about a week after our split. Is this considered as a rebound? I had a buddy check up on her and she was still a little bit emotional about the whole breakup, but she decides to go with him anyways. Right now I'm in NC, but we work in the same place :s. So how is this going to work?
Sugarkane Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Yesterday i reached 8 months NC. Started NC from the beginning and haven't broken it. The ex hasn't contacted me even once, Is this odd? It seems to be rare. Tomorrow is my b'day, I don't think there's a chance in hell that he'll break NC.
Author paiger Posted February 18, 2011 Author Posted February 18, 2011 Yesterday i reached 8 months NC. Started NC from the beginning and haven't broken it. The ex hasn't contacted me even once, Is this odd? It seems to be rare. Tomorrow is my b'day, I don't think there's a chance in hell that he'll break NC. Firstly, 8 months? Wow congrats. I'm serious, congrats. However, by now, you shouldn't even give a damn whether or not this sucker greets you or not. He didn't make an effort for over 8 months to come in contact at all, right? Not to sound harsh but... this needs to enter some peoples minds, one way or the other. Why care and spend so much thought on someone when clearly you are of WAY less importance to them in their lives? This just goes to anyone still thinking of their ex.. Cut that **** out for GOOD guys! Do you! As for me... I feel like I'm coming a bit to my senses now. I spoke to my ex a few days ago (made the mistake in "just checking up") and he actually is doing fine without me. Like.. he actually sounded like the breakup did not phase him what so ever and his life is just fine and dandy. I personally don't feel like this pulled be back to square one, because it basically just demonstrated to me that if he could be over me, and be completely fine, then why can't I right? No doubt it stung. Stung hard to know that his life is swell without me. But... what can ya do right? I'm sure everyone knows what's best for each of them... It's just easier to take when it's coming from someone else. Agreed?
thatsonlyme Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I did NC for few weeks only, after that LC for a while. Then she moved to CA. now we talk over the phone from time to time. I'm not considering this low contact because I don't play games anymore. If I have something to say I call her, she does the same, just like calling an old friend to see what's up. can we really be friends? I have no idea. friends hang out together and even though I could hang out with her I don't think I'd like the idea of meeting her new boyfriend. maybe years down the road who knows. it doesn't even matter right now. I'm happy being alone.
Leandro Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 6 months NC for me. Maybe we can be friends in like 5 years. After she's done with college and grows up a bit.
bl22 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Nearly 4 months NC, she hasnt tried to contact, not once which really suprises me. Ah well
depplover_1980 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Firstly, 8 months? Wow congrats. I'm serious, congrats. However, by now, you shouldn't even give a damn whether or not this sucker greets you or not. He didn't make an effort for over 8 months to come in contact at all, right? Not to sound harsh but... this needs to enter some peoples minds, one way or the other. Why care and spend so much thought on someone when clearly you are of WAY less importance to them in their lives? This just goes to anyone still thinking of their ex.. Cut that **** out for GOOD guys! Do you! As for me... I feel like I'm coming a bit to my senses now. I spoke to my ex a few days ago (made the mistake in "just checking up") and he actually is doing fine without me. Like.. he actually sounded like the breakup did not phase him what so ever and his life is just fine and dandy. I personally don't feel like this pulled be back to square one, because it basically just demonstrated to me that if he could be over me, and be completely fine, then why can't I right? No doubt it stung. Stung hard to know that his life is swell without me. But... what can ya do right? I'm sure everyone knows what's best for each of them... It's just easier to take when it's coming from someone else. Agreed? Everything said here is spot on! Well done for coming to these very sensical conclusions and being able to move on with your life. You are completely right : there is not point in caring for someone who has no care for you. Wasted energy. There is a big world out there, go give that love to someone who deserves and reciprocates it.
Sugarkane Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Firstly, 8 months? Wow congrats. I'm serious, congrats. However, by now, you shouldn't even give a damn whether or not this sucker greets you or not. He didn't make an effort for over 8 months to come in contact at all, right? Not to sound harsh but... this needs to enter some peoples minds, one way or the other. Why care and spend so much thought on someone when clearly you are of WAY less importance to them in their lives? This just goes to anyone still thinking of their ex.. Cut that **** out for GOOD guys! Do you! As for me... I feel like I'm coming a bit to my senses now. I spoke to my ex a few days ago (made the mistake in "just checking up") and he actually is doing fine without me. Like.. he actually sounded like the breakup did not phase him what so ever and his life is just fine and dandy. Easy for you to say. Have you ever had someone do a 180 on you? And no one would tell you why? I don't see many others on here that have NEVER broken NC. From what you said, thats exactly why I never broke it. Lots of others on here have posted about reaching 1 year of NC, are you going to comment on them aswell?
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