Vixen Gemma Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I don't get jealous, I do get flirty, I don't cheat, I don't see how I could any how. Problem: I don't have the will to date, I guess. It's not like most cases. I'm not heartbroken, making a point or unable to find suitable men. I get asked out frequently, I've gotten to the point where I don't like it, don't want to use the word 'hate' but it's close to it. I flirt when the moment comes, it's whatever. Um, a big issue: I was interested in three men, at different times and at some points they landed at the same time, I just talked with them but never wanted to expand on none of them. I can safely say one was very interesting to me, I had a higher physical attraction to him but, I didn't push it any further. I feel I don't have to, want to...? I'm pretty sure this is not a big deal however, second opinions are always welcomed ^_^. I'm told by my friends that I'm 'independent, don't need a relationship to be happy' and the works...but, I don't know. I'd like a relationship, to get back into one, BUT, I just don't want one, haven't for some time. It's gotten to the point where I've grown this 'soft' animosity towards the opposite sex for being so persistent but I'm foolish for doing so, it's human nature. I actually enjoy it when I don't have to be looked at by men, I feel relaxed, like on the beach relaxed. Maybe I'm just focused on my passion in life, I feel like I'm married to it, and in a way I don't mind it, I can accept that. It's something I'm so passionate about and so set on that my work and university studies are priority, I don't mind it. At all. A relationship is out of the question, but it seems so permanently set in me and I guess it's that thought that makes me a wee bit nervous. That's why I seek advice in knowing why I might be feeling this way or if I'm not too off on my thinking.
tman666 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 So it sounds like you're comfortable being around yourself, doing the things you like to do, and are confident enough to not give in to dating every swingin' johnson that makes an appearance. How is this a bad thing???? Date when you're ready, and no sooner. Since you've obviously got it together, you can afford to wait and be choosy.
motherlover Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 "don't want to use the word 'hate' but it's close to it". "It's gotten to the point where I've grown this 'soft' animosity towards the opposite sex I actually enjoy it when I don't have to be looked at by men" I'm told by my friends that I'm 'independent, don't need a relationship to be happy' and the works...but, I don't know. second opinions are always welcomed ^_^. . hmmm i think by "independent" they mean "lesbian"?
xpaperxcutx Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Sounds like the OP's attracted to men but not sexually persuant about it? Mm... asexual comes to mind.
Author Vixen Gemma Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 No, not lesbian. And asexual, I thought I was but that wouldn't explain why I would at sometimes, not always, be sexually attracted to a man. So, really asexual isn't the right term, because I still exhibit sexual attraction. Just not as frequent as I guess is perceived to be normal by society.
Olivia1966 Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 Rather than asexual, how about aromantic?
Author Vixen Gemma Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 Seems odd that you "hate" the attention from the opposite sex, but your example for relaxation is lying on the beach? Laying on the beach seems like the last place you would go to get out of the eye of voyeuristic men. I think more information on your motivations would help to clear things up. Why do you flirt, be honest with yourself, do you actually want a relationship, casual sex, guilt free lifestyle? More info! Okay, okay I'll give you it! The BEST way I can put it is like this: I'm one of those people who knows what their passion in life is. The job - the career I want is more than just a task, it's something that I am deeply interested in. I'm at the point where I'm ready to go and move to that country to fulfill my life's goal. I see it as this; I'm married to my passion, I am ready to dedicate my life to it and I enjoy it, I love it! So, as of now I see my fullest concentration and my heart fully aimed at that. I might just be forgetting to maybe date lol, it's like that commercial where the guy is staying late at work and he gets a call from his girlfriend who reminds him it's their anniversary and now he's remembered - well, something like that. I'm so absorbed in my line of work that I don't seem to remember that part. Casual sex is not good enough. Sex to me calls for more than just being casual, you know what I mean?? Guilt free? Why would I want to feel guilt free? I find nothing in a relationship or sex to feel guilty about in the first place. I don't understand. I'd like a relationship, I'm not denying that, I just don't know whether it's the right thing right now. Now, I am interested in someone & I feel it has a good amount of potential to possibly go further, I'm very much attracted to him. I flirt because I love it. When I feel the moment arise I call for it. I'm not conventional when it comes to relationships. I flirt not for the thought of just flirting, I flirt because of what it symbolizes. You know the feeling when you're alone with someone you're highly attracted to for the first time, when sparks first flew, when everything was brand new and the state of arousal on both of you was so intense that you could only wonder what would happen next, nothing would be guaranteed and yet the thrill of having someone come into the picture and rub you the right way makes the moment that much better??? Well, that's what flirting feels like to me. It's the ability to make everything feel like the first time, over and over again. So I do it. And my beach reference, dude, my picture of relaxing on the beach is obviously different from yours. My beach is just me, sand, a body of water, and maybe a rainbow umbrella. It's no Jersey Shore...
Author Vixen Gemma Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 Rather than asexual, how about aromantic? I never thought of being aromantic. I don't see it being possible, I enjoy being romantic, I can't imagine not having that.
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