SwimmerUSA Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 I dated the best man I've ever met. I hoped to marry him but we broke up due to long distance. I live in the west coast, he lives in the east coast. We both have careers that we love and one of us has to make a sacrifice and move to be with the other. I am the one who would have the easiest time moving since my career is more flexible. However, I've decided that I love my job, my life and my city and we decided to call it quits. I'd like to think I can fall in love again but I know I'm giving up the best partner/boyfriend/friend I have known. Has anyone been in this position before? How do you get over someone like this? or do you give up everything and sacrifice for love?
heartshaped Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 If you weren't willing to give up a city or a job for him and he wasn't either then the two of you just weren't a match. People move all the time to be with the one that they love, but if you didn't want to I don't think nothing's wrong with that he just wasn't the one for you. It's cliche, but time does heal all wounds. Just give yourself some time.
folieadeux Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 ^^ Completely agree. Being in an LDR is all about mutual sacrifice. If you both weren't able to come to some resolution, then this just wasn't meant to be. LDR's aren't for everyone and it's best you figured out what you wanted to do now rather than later. I think it would be worse had you moved knowing you left behind a job you really loved and possibly risk resenting him later on.
HeavenOrHell Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I'm sorry to hear this, I also totally understand your decision/situation. I would not be prepared to give up my life here to move to be with my partner, luckily for me he says he will move here eventually as it makes more sense for him to. If he wasn't prepared to move here then we would break up, this doesn't mean I am not head over heels in love with him or want to be with him though or that we're not right for each other, it just means it is not easy to give up your whole way of life for someone. I would be miserable if I moved to his country, I don't speak the language, (although I'm going to learn, I am a slow learner) I'd miss my friends and work, my hometown, and I'd have to leave my pets behind, and I really don't like the city he lives in, whereas he's happy living in pretty much any city, he has no local friends to leave behind, he can work from home etc etc, he says he doesn't have a life there. I feel for you as it's a horrible, painful decision for him to have to make.
aerogurl87 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 If you weren't willing to give up a city or a job for him and he wasn't either then the two of you just weren't a match. People move all the time to be with the one that they love, but if you didn't want to I don't think nothing's wrong with that he just wasn't the one for you. It's cliche, but time does heal all wounds. Just give yourself some time. This is pretty much true. He may have been a great guy but if neither one of you was willing to sacrifice your job or location to be with the other, then you weren't a suitable match for each other. Yeah people say you'll move if you love someone, but love isn't always enough. I loved my ex but I wasn't going to move to his city and become a military wife. Yet, I'm willing to move to another country to be with my boyfriend now. Which just goes to show you that sometimes who you think is the perfect match, really isn't. But you'll find someone else sooner or later. Just work on yourself and making yourself happy, and the rest will fall into place.
Author SwimmerUSA Posted February 17, 2011 Author Posted February 17, 2011 Thank you all for your messages. Reading other people's opinions really helps. I wish I had found this board sooner
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