Author waynebrady Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 I meant to say something about this yesterday but got distracted by the other stuff - you assume way too much dude. I am a woman and I cannot go without sex. I mean I CAN....but no, I can't. Now, I am married, so my dry spell compared to yours can differ. Even so - I felt I had to speak up about this - cause I know I am not the only one. I have spoken to other women who are like me...I get a little cranky if we go longer than a day or two...just saying...men aren't the only ones with such desires. Anyways, if you're single you don't need to worry about what anybody thinks. And if you're not addicted then when you get with a woman you can stop and it won't be a problem - right? Then you understand how it is for guys who don't get it from their wifes/girlfriends, watching porn would piss the wife off but what choice does he have? Men would get cranky to say the least after a few days. But it does seem like women have an issue with porn in general and look down on all men who watch it even single men.
ShatteredReality Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Then you understand how it is for guys who don't get it from their wifes/girlfriends, watching porn would piss the wife off but what choice does he have? Men would get cranky to say the least after a few days. But it does seem like women have an issue with porn in general and look down on all men who watch it even single men. If my H isn't giving it up for a little bit (and yes - it happens) I get frustrated and eventually I will take care of things myself...but I don't turn to porn. I think for a lot of women - when it comes to porn - it's a dirty, selfish industry. If I am walking through the mall with my husband and he notices a pretty girl I don't care...however if we went home and he started to talk about her, closed his eyes, and started pleasuring himself right in front of me - that would bother me. Most women - myself included - like to think we are enough to satisfy our men sexually. While I logically understand the difference - on an emotional level it feels like a type of betrayal. Do I get mad if I find out he looked at it? No - like I said - I have an understanding. He also acknowledges that it's disrespectful to me for him to look at another woman lustfully and pleasure himself when I am right there. Also - studies have been done (I can find them if you want) and men who look at porn are 70% more likely to cheat on their SO. Same with women who look at porn. Basically porn provides a man (or woman) with variety and a purely physical and selfish view of sex. It becomes all about getting off and taking care of yourself. You can argue that you'd just use your mind instead - but porn can be progressive - like a drug...where your imagination only goes so far. As well as - if left to your imagination, you probably keep picturing the same woman or similar versions of her - while porn will give you every variety under the sun - something a gf or wife cannot give you. I can change positions, I can try new things, I can even dye my hair - but I cannot change into someone taller with longer legs, or change my skin color, or change my teeth and mouth...so if he starts to wonder what it's like to be with that brazilian hottie on the porn video he will have to go find someone more like her to find out. Will he? No...but then, how many ppl PLAN that sort of thing? I am not saying I am the one with all the answers and maybe I am wrong..but on an emotional level for most women it feels like a betrayal. Then if you want to go on about "that's someones daughter" yadda yadda...as before stated - it's a dirty industry, even supporting the "cleaner" side of it you are supporting the bad sides too...most ppl start with the tamer things and move on to the harder core things...
ShatteredReality Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 BTW the little comments about changing my teeth/mouth - I don't have Angelina Jolie's mouth - so I was kinda going along the lines of that - lol...My teeth are straight (thankfully) and I have a nice mouth - but it's nothing like hers. Or Scarlett Johansen...or any of those type of girls...so if he wanted that type of variety he's up a creek.
Kamille Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 But it does seem like women have an issue with porn in general and look down on all men who watch it even single men. Again. You're assuming too much. I assume my bf and exes watch/ed porn, and I've even watched porn with some of them. Hell, I even rented erotica when I was single to get some outside visual and narrative stimulation. Some women have an issue with porn. I doubt it's as widespread as you think it is. And, it does not even mean that they "look down" on men who watch it. I can have an issue with porn because I would like to be the center of my guy's sexual fantasies. This would mean porn makes me feel insecure. It's a far cry from "looking down" on someone. Also, I wanted to say this yesterday: some women enjoy anal sex. It doesn't make them any less lady like or deserving of respects. All it means is that they enjoy anal stimulation. And eh, until you've tried it, you can't diss it.
fishtaco Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 First - waynebrady - you have some very strange concepts, which is why I thought you were trolling. Maybe you are, maybe you're not, this thread turned out to be quite entertaining anyway. And I'm sure you know I was just goofing around with you for the sake of comedy. I think for a lot of women - when it comes to porn - it's a dirty, selfish industry. If I am walking through the mall with my husband and he notices a pretty girl I don't care...however if we went home and he started to talk about her, closed his eyes, and started pleasuring himself right in front of me - that would bother me. Most women - myself included - like to think we are enough to satisfy our men sexually. While I logically understand the difference - on an emotional level it feels like a type of betrayal. I know this is like beating a dead horse. These decisions/views are made emotionally, and not with logic or reason. So here I am, presenting you with logical counter points, it's like trying to build a bicycle with cooking utensils. But here we go anyway. To get it out of the way first, if it impacts life in anyway, i.e. more than just entertainment, then it's bad. But that could be said of anything. Gambling, video games, drinking, whatever. In that regard, the problem is addiction, not porn. If watching a fictional movie means a person is lacking something in real life, then women that watch romantic comedies means their SO's are unromantic and not funny. Imagine a couple, each time the woman watches a romantic comedy, the man gets mad because that means he's not good enough for her. As for "dirty", that's your opinion, which you are 100% valid to have. But, it would be unfair for you to impose your view on others, just like if others impose their views on you. So you don't watch it yourself, but you can't tell others not to watch it. And it's really arguable against the "violence" in action films. Which is worse? The act of procreation, or killing someone? For example, I think hunting is an awful sport. Why kill things for entertainment? That extends to fishing. Just because fishes are ugly doesn't mean it's okay to kill them for entertainment. But am I going to stop my friends or my SO from doing these things? Nope. I won't participate, but I won't stop them either. My opinions are for me. As long as they don't break the law and impact nature, it's just another pass time. Anyway, these are my counter points.
depplover_1980 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 You can't beat a spot of porn, fantastic entertainment. Don't cry about it girls, just pick up some skills and take them right to the bedroom.
mo mo Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 You can't beat a spot of porn, fantastic entertainment. Don't cry about it girls, just pick up some skills and take them right to the bedroom. Judging by the pic in your AV it looks like you've made a few yourself
depplover_1980 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Judging by the pic in your AV it looks like you've made a few yourself Cheeky monkey. Not even a nipple in sight...
mo mo Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Cheeky monkey. Not even a nipple in sight... in that picture sure. I bet there's a whole set from that shoot
depplover_1980 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 in that picture sure. I bet there's a whole set from that shoot You picking on me for no reason Mo Mo?
mo mo Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 You picking on me for no reason Mo Mo? don't be confused, i pick on everyone besides, i have a good memory and from what I remember about you I wouldn't be totally surprised if you did some kinky stuff in front of a camera
depplover_1980 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 don't be confused, i pick on everyone besides, i have a good memory and from what I remember about you I wouldn't be totally surprised if you did some kinky stuff in front of a camera Just found it a tad antagonistic aswell as being slightly presumptious... You're wrong about that shot, which was actually taken on my phone last year while my bf was downstairs and I was upstairs reading. I like it cos it's not lewd but suggestive. However when I was aged 19 I did full nude modelling for some European publications, as I was raised in a house where nudity was fairly normal so it was no biggie. To be honest I found it a little demeaning and quit after 2 months.
mo mo Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Antagonistic? Nahhhh it's all in good fun. I don't have anything against anyone here.
depplover_1980 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Antagonistic? Nahhhh it's all in good fun. I don't have anything against anyone here. Good cos I would hate to have you in naked wrestle. On camera.
Nexus One Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 (edited) I didn't interpret him saying that negatively either. (i.e. no innuendo) For what it's worth. Edited February 16, 2011 by Nexus One
mo mo Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Good cos I would hate to have you in naked wrestle. On camera. the tables have turned!!!
depplover_1980 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 YAY!! Nothing wrong with a bit of passion. Or a naked wrestle! Anyway on topic, nothing wrong with a spot of porn.
ShatteredReality Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 I know this is like beating a dead horse. These decisions/views are made emotionally, and not with logic or reason. So here I am, presenting you with logical counter points, it's like trying to build a bicycle with cooking utensils. But here we go anyway. To get it out of the way first, if it impacts life in anyway, i.e. more than just entertainment, then it's bad. But that could be said of anything. Gambling, video games, drinking, whatever. In that regard, the problem is addiction, not porn. If watching a fictional movie means a person is lacking something in real life, then women that watch romantic comedies means their SO's are unromantic and not funny. Imagine a couple, each time the woman watches a romantic comedy, the man gets mad because that means he's not good enough for her. As for "dirty", that's your opinion, which you are 100% valid to have. But, it would be unfair for you to impose your view on others, just like if others impose their views on you. So you don't watch it yourself, but you can't tell others not to watch it. And it's really arguable against the "violence" in action films. Which is worse? The act of procreation, or killing someone? For example, I think hunting is an awful sport. Why kill things for entertainment? That extends to fishing. Just because fishes are ugly doesn't mean it's okay to kill them for entertainment. But am I going to stop my friends or my SO from doing these things? Nope. I won't participate, but I won't stop them either. My opinions are for me. As long as they don't break the law and impact nature, it's just another pass time. Anyway, these are my counter points. As I have stated (a few times) I understand the difference between the logical and the emotional reaction to the porn issue. I have come to a point where I can completely separate the two. I can confidently call it a "dirty" industry because the industry itself is. Hunting is a different kind of dirty - but I assure you - it's filthy. There's nothing quite like getting a downed elk ready for transport...I would not recomment wearing your Sunday best for that. (I don't hunt, but I have family who does) Porn is a dirty industry for many reasons, including (not limited to) the fact that included in the industry as a whole are beastiality (a woman and a horse - that's dirty) and child porn. Now are all porn films dirty in and of themselves? That's up to opinion, but the industry is the umbrella over even the most tame productions. I don't want to impose my opinion on someone else and make it theirs as well - without the freedom to choose our own opinions the world would be a much much sadder place. So - if you disagree with it being Dirty - that's fine. I am just explaining why I call it dirty confidently and don't so much feel like I am stepping on any toes in doing so. I was only trying to explain why a woman may find issue with a man watching porn. I have watched it in the past and simply found it wasn't for me. Wayne asked what the problem is that women have with it - not all women have a problem with it. I was just trying to explain what the women who DO have a problem with it may be thinking/feeling. While any big decision should be made more based on logic than emotion (IMO) there are certain things in relationships that occur where a persons emotions need to be taken into consideration. Even if a man feels her request to be somewhat unreasonable...if a woman is truly bothered by him watching porn - truly truly bothered. Her self esteem can be effected and her confidence in his love for her as well. That being said - if he really loves her and he's not addicted to porn - why would it be such a big deal to stop viewing it? When we choose to share our lives with another person sometimes we have to sacrifice some of the more unimportant things in life in order to make it work. If the relationship doesn't last then start watching it again when it's over - right? If I were reading romance novels (I have in the past - but again, not so much for me, so I don't) and my husband was bothered by the unrealistic view they give toward men and toward sex and asked me to stop reading them - I would stop. There are certain shows that I really like, but he doesn't - so I don't watch them. If anything ever happens to him I will go and rent all the seasons and have a weekend marathon - but because he doesn't like them I respectfully choose to abstain. It's simply not important enough to cause a problem over. Shouldn't porn be the same?
Memphis Raines Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 Someone I used to know once said he watches porn once in a while because his wife refuses to give blowjobs and he misses them so.
elaina Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 (edited) Ok, most women seems to be very anti-porn and think that porn should be completley removed. I have several reasons why I, a woman, am against porn. However, they are not so much because of my gender, but rather because of my beliefs. (Many women are believers in God or *Superior Being over humans*) According to the beliefs I adhere to, sex is a pleasurable gift, as well as the reproduction method, for a husband and wife, and the main way they show love for each other... "make love." Porn does not emphasize the special and beautiful, pleasurable bond between a husband and wife. Rather, porn just shows sex as a pleasurable fix between whoever.... love and committed relationship be damned. Porn is not about love between a husband and wife. For Christians (and Muslims and Jewish Orthodox people), sex is only to be enjoyed between a husband and wife (or concubine, but that's a different subject!) So, watching people who are not married screw each other is not a part of what believers in the Abrahamic faiths should do. Do some people of these beliefs engage in porn/porn watching/ prostitution? Yes, but we're not supposed to. If a person is not a believer of any of the Abrahamic faiths, then that is obviously different, they are free to believe and do what they want to do. But believers in God are supposed to also obey God's commandments. But then what would men do? Most men need some visual "stimulation" you know... if it's not porn then there will be something else(which will probably be creepier ). Porn is a trap for many men... an addiction like drugs or alcohol, and it's hard for many of them to get off it. They program their brains and bodies to it and many end up having difficulties with relationships with their wives/girlfriends because of their addiction. A man who does not look at porn usually gets married to a beautiful wife who captivates his attention. Since he is not seeking sexual fulfillment just by his hand and watching other people having sex, he focuses his attention on his beloved wife. Many women intuitively know this... that porn is in contrast and against and in competition with a real relationship. The woman is normally and naturally the "heart" of the home. A woman is incredibly important for a family circle because of this... women have gifts and talents that many men don't have, and of course give birth, which men can't do. Families are often a living organism (not orgasm lol.) Women can tell danger to their family sometimes easier than men can, and in many cases, porn is a danger to the infrastructure of the family. The union between the Mom and Dad is what makes the infrastructure strong. Without a strong union, families break up. Many women have a "sixth sense", if you will, and desire to protect their union with their men, whether from another woman (women) or porn or drugs or addiction to alcohol or whatever else seems to threaten their relationship. It's a natural instinct. Sadly, so many previously wonderful marriages have been destroyed by addictions (by either the husband or wife.) How did men do in the medieval times you think? Medieval times were very difficult. I imagine many of the men were mainly concentrating on survival, rather then on screwing their hands as they watch naked strangers. However, many did screw prostitutes. Porn has replaced prostitution on some levels, but on other levels actively encourages prostitution (since the porn stars are payed for being taped having sex with other porn stars, which is a variant of prostitution.) My bet atleast is that they had some pretty filthy fantasys about a woman they'd met or hell idk since the medieval times were brutal I wouldn't be surprised if rape and sexual harrasment were alot more common back then. Sadly, rape and sexual harassment are common today too. How would you feel as a woman if a strange man had sexual fantasys about you? Not very good I'd bet... Porn really is harmless, unless offcourse it's BDSM porn or child porn or anal porn or any of that other filthy stuff. What harm does normal porn really do?Men can control their minds. It takes self discipline, like working out does. It is very possible for men and women to control their thoughts. Porn hurts many relationships, especially if the addicted person is a husband (or even in some cases a wife) who would rather have sex with his hand with his mind full of naked women, then make love to his wife and fully focus and appreciate her. Porn also objectifies women as sex objects and encourages men to view women they don't love or care for as objects to screw and conquer and just get pleasure from without loving or caring about them. Porn also does not address the gift of reproduction... babies! (Children are the most precious gift, - life! not a curse or bad thing) that sex often brings. Porn also does not encourage love between a couple, but rather, just lust. Porn makes sex cheap. Edited March 24, 2011 by elaina
Recommended Posts