My boyfriend broke up with me and I don't know what to think

[brokenxsoul]

My boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago, but since then has been coming to see me and contacting me. On Valentine's Day he still brought me flowers and my favorite perfume, and we even had sex, which I'm not sure was right or wrong in this situation.

 

The reason I am confused is because he told me he loves me but doesn't feel "in love" with me anymore. He said he needs his space to be alone so that he can find himself again because he is unhappy with himself and his feelings have changed. He said he doesn't know if I'm the one anymore but he still sees a possibility of us being together again. He told me he wants to have children with me and that he misses the way we used to be. I don't understand how he could be having doubts and not feel "in love" with me but say all these things. I am so confused.

 

He used to say I was the one for him and that he doesn't ever want anyone else. He waited to be with me for three years and told me he wanted to marry me someday. He also said that he would be willing to "start over" with me again, but that he just needs some time...

 

We have been together since we were both 16, and we are now 19. We've lived together for most of our relationship but have know each other for 5 years. We spend all of our free time together and maybe that is the problem. I'm not sure if I should stop talking to him and move on or hope that he changes his mind soon. Has anyone been through this? What does it all mean?

[PegNosePete]

Hi there, sorry for your situation, and welcome to the site.

 

he told me he loves me but doesn't feel "in love" with me anymore.

Because he feels in love with someone else. This line is on page 1 of the cheaters handbook. Just google it!

 

He said he needs his space to be alone so that he can find himself again

What he means is, he needs space away from you to try out other people.

 

he is unhappy with himself

He's feeling guilty, or else he's just saying that to make you not hate him.

 

he doesn't know if I'm the one anymore

Because he is banging someone else and likes it.

 

he still sees a possibility of us being together again

He wants to keep you on the back burner in case things don't work out with his affair partner.

 

He told me he wants to have children with me

He just says that to keep you hanging on. Whatever you do, DO NOT have children with this guy!

 

I don't understand how he could be having doubts and not feel "in love" with me but say all these things.

Because he's banging someone else, but wants to keep you on backup in case it doesn't work out between her.

 

He also said that he would be willing to "start over" with me again, but that he just needs some time...

He needs time to see if things work out with his new GF. If they don't then he wants to start over with you.

 

What does it all mean?

It means he is banging someone else. Sorry!

[depplover_1980]

I don't agree with Pegnosepete at all and there is no proof of such accusations so try not to let that post affect you too much, honestly I am the first for telling it how it is but without evidence...no.

 

It is quite possible he is literally wondering what else is out there because you are both so young and been together a long time. I suspect his friends are all sleeping around with hot chicks here and there, he gets to hear their stories and thinks perhaps he would like a slice of the pie.

 

One think I am in agreement with though is the fact he wants to do all of this and still have you right where he wants you, to have his homely apple pudding (you) while he possibly tries all the other desserts out there!! You are a fool having sex with this man considering what he has told you and you are NOT TO DO IT AGAIN! Or Depps will slap you with a wet fish - ok?

 

You are to tell him you no longer want ANY communication with him while he decides what he wants and then go into something we all know as NO CONTACT, where you put him out of your life. I suggest you read the other threads to see you are not alone and for support.

 

Considering you have been with him for so long and you are so fantastic you DESERVE a full hearted man that loves you. Settle for nothing less. Believe me when I say the pain gets better, but slowly. x

[Faruiza]

Yes, it seems like this is natural because you are both very young and the feelings of marriage, children and comittment come on usually a bit later. Maybe he feels you;re the right girl, it;s just too soon in his life.

 

Sometimes, timing plays a big part. Nothing's worked out for me yet and I'm 10 years older than you so just take heart that you have many years to find the right guy in, even if it;s not this one!

 

Relax, you have time. Give him space I would say.. If you're each others love of your lives then time nor distance will not part you. It's like Shakespeare's sonnet - 'Love is not love which bends with the remover to remove...it's not time's fool...'

Good luck

[ZachNormand]

If he wants his space, give it to him while you take some time alone as well.

Hang out with your friends, go for movies etc... Consider the possibility of

living your life without him by your side and stay strong.