PeterDee Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 Let me start off by saying I’m a happy guy, reasonably. I am considered by my peers to be good-looking and charismatic; I personally do not have trouble meeting women. I say this because I find have a personal opinion that people who have social problems may end up feeling constricted to the one relationship they've ever known any believe that to be what "love" is. To explain myself in short, I was and obese unpopular kid when I was a young kid, I through will and mental anguish went from lost 70 pounds and got myself a six-pack blah blah. I was still quite the dork early high school, but that is where I met her, I met a girl who I started dating and we fell in love. Legit love. I had had allot of relationships but this was easily the most serious. She loved me for me. We were together for about 4 years, high school into college. Through that time I picked up mixed martial arts, boxing, wrestling, and lacrosse. I became the athletic time. I upgraded myself into a better man in my eyes. Better clothes, better hair, better body, better teeth, everything. But she still loved me for me. Of course like any guy that age, especially becoming popular and cool. I began being curious of my life without her and other women. We decided to end the relationship eventually in college both agreeing that since our lives are changing and we need to see the world and other people to experience more about life. Yeah, I’m sugarcoating, I remember that week like the back of my hand. I can read people really well, and I felt her mind leaning onto that. I did agree but I still loved her of course. and to be honest I know back then if it were up to me I would have stayed together. But anyway I beat her to the punch, when we sat in the car at a restraaunt after her keeping her distance for a day. I beat her to ending the relationship. she was stunned of course. My pride was "that" important to me. I gave her one final kiss, told her to take care of herself. and left, not to see her again. Yeah. I know. from what I know she dated around yada yada and ended up in a relationship shortly after. Me? well I definably went out to live, as I’m 100% sure she did too. I became the regional manager of a beauty supply company. Traveling the states. Having a good job with power, while faking my college in my home state that I was still living there and flying and taking buses back to take exams for a week. I’m a smart guy, I definably started taking advantage of the educational system. , worst part was it worked. I passed each class with As and Bs. I’m a smart guy and actually legitlemtley did the work. My good looks and charisma got me anything I wanted. I mean I was this head honcho. I told me what to do. A male regional manager in a company of over 100 women mainly. How? I started a fling with the owner, a 30 year old married women. Yeah, defiantly going towards my dark side I know. Well again my charm worked for me, company car company apartment, more money than I knew what to do with. Women came easily. I learned quickly that sleeping with more women than I could count was not an achievement, not a skill; it was a failure and finding someone worthwhile. I thought about her allot. So finally I got sick of it. I got sick of being a liar, a bad guy only after one thing because he didn’t know what else to do. A corporate fraud scandal hit while at the same time the 30 year old women’s husband came into the mix. I left everything, I took my cell phone, my wallet, my watch, put my Armani slacks on and my h&m dress shirt took my laptop and hopped a bus back home. 1000 miles. Left everything I didn’t care. Money and women, they don’t make you happy, believe me. I came back home got a job, and honest one, and entered a relationship with a woman. It got serious faster than expected and we fell in love. It was different and foreign to me. We ended up living together. I started Fighting again and had my athletic career back again along with work. She was abusive. Very abusive, and I’m a MMA fighter, She lied to me constantly and took advantage of me. When I’m in a relationship I’m dedicated. So in short I found out she was cheating on me. After a year and bit of being together. She went to her "friends" for the night. I packed a moving van with all my stuff over the course of like 4 hours, of course leaving allot of my valuables. Again money doesn’t make me happy. I went to the restraaunt where here and the man she was with was. Sat down next to him and told him if he valued health to sit quiet, told her I knew what she was doing, pointed to the U-Haul and said it was over have a nice life, a minute like that I snapped out of that love. Drove all the way back home. Went back with my loving parents. Focused on my fight career and college and work. I knew a week after less than that of being backed home that I love my high school sweet heart. I just fought the feeling as it weighed on my hear more and more. Her best friend and I are good friends and Id hear. stories when catching up with her of lunch and such. Now it’s been a year since that bad relationship and about 3 since the sweetheart. Had allot of flings, dates, one night stands, casual relationships you name it. I’ve realized how fake people are, I mean being a loser and I guess ascending to this level of a popular jock is just a joke. a big joke, no one resonated with me or my heart. I love her more and more each day. she is the smartest ,funniest, most beautiful and genuine person in the world to me. Even though we are opposites in so many way. Her an elegant, artistic, cultured upper-class woman, me a ruffian lower middle class athletic uncultured geek at heart. I love her, I love her smile, her jokes, the way she laughs and say "ok" , her parents, her hair , her damn cat that would claw my legs. I would give up everything that is me for 5 minutes with her. and the best part is she wouldn’t ask or force me to give a thing up. I can live the rest of my life without her I know , not as happy, But I love her, I love here more than anyone on planet earth. I’ve been with women who people think are better looking, smarter, more successful you name it. but this girl people she’s the real deal. I used to think she didn’t appreciate me, but it was the other way around, I wouldn’t change a single thing about her. She is perfect nothing is a flaw. I’ve felt this strong with this intensity for a year now just about. I’ve loved her still since the day we parted. so it’s been 3 years without seeing each other or speaking. So here the catch that guy, that relationship she’s still with him. yep. I don’t know if she’s happy or what not. that’s beside the point. So for what I’m doing I’m not asking to be back together, I can handle being single I have handled it fine. This weekend I’m meeting with my good friend , her best friend, and I’m going to tell her, No one knows except me. The next day after that, I plan on going to her boutique and asking for 90 seconds of her time. I’m going to tell her that way I feel. I’m going to tell her the truth. That I expect nothing from her. That my heart beats to the syllables of her name. that her breath keeps the blood in my veins pumping, and that she is an amazing person and she will find success in whatever she attempts. I’m going to tell her that above all else I just want her happiness. So yeah I’m going to tell her I love her. Why tell her best friend?? Come on I said I was smart, you know women, actually humans in general. telling her will give me a 48 hour ultimatum before she finds out through inevitable gossip, of course vie wanted to do this before, just need the stones, funny I can stand to fight guys twice my size who try to beat my face in. but this is the biggest challenge and fear of my life. I love her, I’m going to tell her, and I’m going to be happy, as long as she is happy with or without me. She is perfect. So what are your thoughts, I’m still going throught with it period.
PegNosePete Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 If you love her then stay the hell away from her. She is in a long term relationship and (presumably) happy. So what do you think you are going to achieve by turning up and declaring your undying love? You're just being selfish and manipulative.
gator12 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 First thing's first, next time indentations would be helpful. It's hard to keep reading through a single paragraph that large lol. Second thin, back off, let the relationship run it's course. If she's the one, respect her. She's either really happy right now or isn't. If she is and you love her then that's enough, if she's not then they will break up and then you make a move. For now you have to suck it up, you love her and that's not going to change any time soon, and if you guys are really meant to be you will be. -Gator
Author PeterDee Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 kills me that you are all right in your ways
thegreatmistake Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 If you read through these posts you'll find that almost everyone here that wants a second chance and doesn't have one right now is in that situation because they forced their loved one away through smothering, begging, heartfelt stories, promises, etc. If I were with someone else and my ex that I want back more than anything came and declared their love to me, I'd ask them to leave and walk away. It wouldn't be fair to who I was with otherwise, and I always try to think about how the other person in the relationship would feel. If you want to see how things are and what your chances are, get in touch as a friend. You said you're good at reading people, so steer the conversation a little bit and see how happy she is. flirt a little and see if she seems interested. and regardless, leave. If things went well see her again as a friend in a month. friend zone is rarely useful, but after this much time and with her with the same guy for a long time, it's the best way you can work yourself into your life and remind her you're there without her getting pushed away by your actions.
Author PeterDee Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 talked to her best friend who is now my best friend over dinner, i told her and she was shocked and then told me she started the relationship she is in currently during that last month or two of our own, so yeah i dont know what to do. she gave me her work adress i walked up to the door on a blizzard sunday , and grabbed the handle to the door, stood there for a minute and realized i didnt have the strentgh to open it
Author PeterDee Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 its months, and its just worse, dating average 4 different people a month...
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