Diaz12wd Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 (edited) First of all thank you to everyone who is reading this... So i am currently in a long-distance relationship with a 24 year old while i am only 20 (not really a big deal) we are currently across the country from each other...we talk on the phone all the time and truly have a great connection. At the end of the year last year (Oct/Nov) she got out of a multi-year relationship and pretty soon there after started getting involved with me, i recently went up to visit her for valentines day and everything was good except for the fact that we can't put the label "boyfriend and girlfriend" on it because she isn't ready to do that even though we are exclusive to each other. Also over the weekend i can tell she wasn't ready to be someones girlfriend, but wants to keep doing what we are doing, we had a long conversation about how i felt she was not into this entire thing and she said that it was just hard to be someones girlfriend right now but really wants to keep doing whats we are doing. We usually have great conversations on the phone at night, and today being the first night back away from her, she didn't seem to be into the conversation and just seemed like she wasn't mentally into it..is this a big red flag? what should i do because i truly like this girl and every part of me wants to wait for her i just don't want to be just dragged along for a couple months...i don't know what to do...help? Edited February 15, 2011 by Diaz12wd
folieadeux Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 She's obviously still reeling from her breakup. What I'm confused about though is how you guys seem to do everything "couples" do, but she doesn't want to attach a label to it. My thing is, if you're putting forth the effort to be exclusive to each other during your time apart, it doesn't sound like anything would change at all if you called her your girlfriend. Have you ever asked her this? Maybe I'm missing something but it doesn't sound like it would alter her life all that drastically.
Author Diaz12wd Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 I completely agree with you, i trust her and i trust the fact that we are truly exclusive...(which might be fool hearted). But she says that she just is not ready to be someones girlfriend and there is something mentally she can not get past.....so i dont know. It is just a bad situation to be in on my part....
creighton0123 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Perhaps she just doesn't like the word, the label, and what it means at this time in her life... Boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance, spouse, etc. etc. are just labels to fit into the status quo. You'll see people here using "Boyfriend", "Girlfriend", "BF", "GF", "SO", "DH" to refer to their partners. Are these fundamentally necessary? No. Is your girl what you would consider a free spirit? If so, perhaps the word holds much less significance for her at this point in time. If you feel it's worth your time, appreciate what you have rather than spending time agonizing over a word. Bring it up again in a month or two and see where she is.
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