jessy1 Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 (edited) Hey all Need a bit of help with my situation, Im lost with what to do I work with my ex He is now seeing someone else and it breaks my heart. Very quickly to summerise, we met months ago at work and instantly became inseperable. He apparently used to be the biggest player so I kept my distance a bit. He starts calling and txting non stop saying amazing things and making me feel so special. He told me I am the only girl for him and he doesnt expect me to share him with anyone. We start sleeping together and just having an amazing time. He even sent me a little card once saying he loved me. Everyone at work teased us constantly about how cute we were together. He even pulled my boss aside and told her how amazing I am and how h has never gotten on with someone so well. I just had an amazing time with this guy. We were all cuddly all the time to. BUT he never made me official. I was silly and thought he was taking it slow Anyway he goes away on holiday for two weeks and here I am counting down the days till I see him again. He still sends me cute txts and my heart did little flips everytime. Little do I know while he is away he had gone and gotten himself a new gf. He came back to work and announced to other staff (not me) that he hes a new gf. He never said one word to me except 'I love my life right now, I am sooo happy'. I was so shocked and hurt that I went instant NC. I stopped talking to him altogether at work. He has no idea what he has done wrong and then become very angry at me for ignoring him. And as you may guess I later found out that yes he was sleeping with other people, and even lying about it. One of the girls is my close mate and once she found out about me and him she stopped talking to me and now wants to kill me!! It has been a month and we havent spoken a word. It is the biggest change ever. We honestly were inseperable now we do not even look at each other. For him its no big deal, he has a new gf and he is the happiest boy out there. For me I struggle everyday. I cry everyday and I miss him and the fun times like you wouldnt believe!!!! I sometimes think maybe it would be easier just to let down my guard and start talking to him again as I am utterly miserable with the current situation. Anyway I got offered a new job the other day. Heres where I need help. Do I leave my old job where I have been for three years just because I am heartbroken over a pretty horrible boy who clearly never like me and just lied? This new job is ****ty hours and less pay and EVERYONE would know exactally why I am leaving. I have great friends at my current job and would miss the people soo much I only work part time as I am a uni student but its very handy as its close to home and I love my work mates. BUT I am miserable and hate seeing him everyday. I am sick of coming home crying. I miss him to death and HATE that we dont even look at each other. I just dont know what to do!!! I just cant seem to shake this boy. I have never been treated so well (on the surface) and I really loved him. It destorys me that everything was probably a lie and that he never really wanted me. You have no idea how much it tears me up! Please help!! Edited February 15, 2011 by jessy1
PegNosePete Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 Tough choice... a job you like but are miserable because of him, or a job you'll hate. I would go for option ©, find another better job. Or option (d), put loads of porn onto his computer and get him fired One of the girls is my close mate and once she found out about me and him she stopped talking to me and now wants to kill me!! Is there not a female version of "bro's before ho's"?? Does she not know that this arsehole duped you just as much as he duped her? Some "close mate"!!!
ZachNormand Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 The guy is not worth everything you are going through because of him. Moving on is the best thing you can do for yourself. If you don't like the new job, don't do it, just because you wanna go away from this guy. Sooner or later, you will be happy again too.
Author jessy1 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 (edited) Thankyou for your replies Dont worry I sorted things out with the 'other girl'. She is heartbroken to, poor we thing. I really love my friends and customers at my job and kinda feel that by leaving he wins. But on the other hand I hate being misrable everyday. For example today he was walking around with a grin from ear to ear and laughing non stop. He was even joking with the guys about his gf (I didnt hear much as I walked away right away). Because im a horrible person I hate seeing him soo happy, it makes me feel like **** and I hate feeling that way every day!!! I take my moods out on family and friends which is awful!! This boy has really messed with my life. When you say he will just hurt this new girl to I dont know if I agree. He has been saying round work that he is soooo in love and wants to settle down now and hes never been so happy bla bla bla. This is like after three weeks of knowing her. This comments hurt SOO bad and make me feel like the problem was me not him. He never said that about me It hurts just typing this and I am tearing up!! Anyway thaanks again for the replies!! If you have any further advice that would be awesome thankyou P.S I have gone total NC with him, like dont even look up when he walks past. This is the biggest change ever as like i mentioned we were inseperable. Is this wrong? Do I look like a total baby? Should I just give in an talk like normal to stop the bitterness? Edited February 16, 2011 by jessy1
Good Arms Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I'm sorry you're going through this. I work with my ex too, and it really hurts every time I see her around, going about her business with a smile on her face when she's left me a wreck. Even though we parted on friendly terms when she dumped me. In your case, your ex is clearly a colossal prick! You're not a horrible person to hate seeing him happy, it's only natural, so don't put yourself down over that. If he had the decency to leave you in a mature manner, it would still be natural you'd be upset to see him flaunting his (apparent) happiness. But the way he treated you, you need to tell yourself that you are the one with the good heart, the morals, the self worth, the decency. He's rotten to the core. He sounds like a disgusting person to cheat on you (official or not, he cheated) and then go around saying things within earshot of you. Saying stuff about wanting to settle down after knowing this other person for 3 weeks does sound ridiculous... I'm pretty sure aswell that he'll hurt her too as he goes about his selfish ways, then the next one, then the next... I know it doesn't feel like it, and these words won't help your pain, but I'd say your break-up is definitely HIS loss, not yours. In time you'll be thankful you saw him for who he really was sooner rather than later. You're better off without him, believe me, but don't blame yourself for only seeing his good points in that honeymoon period where you had loads of fun. I've gone NC at work too, but I just give her a muted smile if I HAVE to pass her... never been close enough to have to talk yet, but I'll restrict things to a simple 'hello'... In your case I think you've done the right thing to go total NC from day 1. This piece of crap doesn't deserve you massaging his ego by still acknowledging him, I know it's unbelievably tough but just carry on blanking him as though he doesn't exist. I feel like leaving my job because of the constant stress over seeing my ex, but I don't think any of us unfortunate dumpees should have to. In my case I've been in a boring job for way too long anyway, so wanting to leave is nothing new. I guess it's a personal decision only you can make.
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