Woman: A right to be sad about being single if she's rejected every guy who's asked?

February 17, 2011

I would really question your self-esteem if you feel your total self-worth is based on how girls reject and accept you.

I agree he shouldnt base his worth on that but cant you see that going through life not being attractive to the opposite sex and never having a female companionship can hurt at times

February 17, 2011

I agree he shouldnt base his worth on that but cant you see that going through life not being attractive to the opposite sex and never having a female companionship can hurt at times

Well, he is doing exactly what the girl he is complaining about is doing. She has rejected some guys (including him), he has rejected some girls. He doesn't really have any special rights to be 'sad' when she can't be.

February 17, 2011

You're still doing it wrong. It's not a competitive sport. It's not a case of high or low standards. You don't need to try. You either or you are not. Your attitude is what's holding you back. Let go. Stop trying to control everything. Sometimes some people will be receptive and sometimes they won't. The more you try to control the world the less control you have over yourself.

Agree, entirely.

This is what I mean by assessing yourself and deciding who you are. You decide your worth; not some random girls. Once you both embrace yourself as a person and work on yourself as a person ("We are all perfect as we are, and we could all use a little work") with less regard to outsiders and the outcome, you'd probably have more success. You've got to look inward.

February 17, 2011

You're still doing it wrong. It's not a competitive sport. It's not a case of high or low standards. You don't need to try. You either or you are not. Your attitude is what's holding you back. Let go. Stop trying to control everything. Sometimes some people will be receptive and sometimes they won't. The more you try to control the world the less control you have over yourself.

I agree.

even the same people will not be always consistently receptive, sometimes they are just going through a tough time and turn inwards, other times they are more up for interaction.

you should just enjoy human contact, being social and learn to be more outgoing, you will meet more and more people that way. don't expect results. just be yourself, be friendly, get to know others without expectations.

February 17, 2011

I just recently got rejected. Even though it stung, I kept my head up. She just wasn't right for me.

I imagine that these women are losing out on meeting great men, but that's their problem. It's not my fault I always get rejected, and neither is it the fault of the guys that were rejected by your Facebook friends. Some women are just too picky.

February 17, 2011

When you get to know somebody better, do they seem to change?

A bit, as I learn more things about them. My first impressions are usually pretty accurate, but they're just impressions.

My point, though, was that if you already know you're not attracted to someone and you're not compatible with them, there's no point in "giving them a chance" unless both of you are looking for short-term potential fun. Personally, I'm not, so it would be a waste of my time and his.

Let me put it this way. There are a lot of men out there who I could date short-term and enjoy spending some time with. But most of those relationships would quickly end since there would be something about the match that would make us incompatible for something serious and long-term. Some people will happily go into relationships with obvious expiration dates, but I don't want that, especially since I may end up with a guy who decides he wants to spend his life with me, and I'd be in a position where I had to break it off with him because I knew all along that we weren't going to be together for life. He'd end up heartbroken when I could've said I didn't think it was a good idea to date him from day one.

There have been many times where I've gotten to know a guy as a friend with some attraction between us, but either one or both of us decided not to get involved because we realized that we weren't right for each other. Deciding to give the frog a kiss just so I wouldn't have to be alone would have been more painful and harmful in the end than just leaving it all alone.

To make a long story short, it's not really fair to get upset at someone for rejecting others and then complaining about being alone. It's senseless and counterproductive to make yourself date someone who isn't going to make you happy in the long run. Think back to your "what if I only wanted a woman with a G cup" example: if you really, truly felt that way, you'd never be happy with a woman who was smaller, and you'd always be thinking about how you 'settled.' Your partner would likely pick up on that feeling. In the end, you'd ultimately feel cheated out of what you truly wanted, and she would feel hurt that you can't totally love her body for what it is. That doesn't do anyone any good.

I imagine that these women are losing out on meeting great men, but that's their problem. It's not my fault I always get rejected, and neither is it the fault of the guys that were rejected by your Facebook friends. Some women are just too picky.

Without knowing the women or the men involved, how can you tell that they're too picky and missing out on meeting great men?

February 17, 2011

Well I've rejected one girl. She wasn't even remotely attractive, about 5 years older than me, weighed more than I did and on our first conversation told me that she had an abortion. What a winner!

If you step in her shoes, you might say "Well I've rejected one guy. He wasn't even remotely resembling a serious BF, about 7 years older then me,

a college student with no job/no money and on our first conversation acted as he was interested in sex. What a winner!"

BTW Quality males reject attractive women all the time.

February 18, 2011

Sure it was her right to turn them all down, but being sad about being alone after having plenty of opportunities to not be?

I actively pursue and get rejected by women. If I didn't try, then I'd have no right to complain.

Little princesses.

Heh, being sad about being alone causes them drama and makes them feel better (where's my eye spinning smiley?)

What if you were hit on or asked out by 30 women and all of them were 100 lbs overweight. We're talking like 300 lbs type women.

You reject all of them. Do you have a right to feel lonely? You can't complain about women who won't accept your dates, you had every opportunity to go on 30 dates with women, you should've settled for the fatties and entered a relationship and eventually married one of them. You had your shot at happiness, sure a 300 lb happiness, but you did have your chances so do you have the right to be bitter about not getting dates?

....see how stupid you sound?

February 18, 2011

What if you were hit on or asked out by 30 women and all of them were 100 lbs overweight. We're talking like 300 lbs type women.

You reject all of them. Do you have a right to feel lonely? You can't complain about women who won't accept your dates, you had every opportunity to go on 30 dates with women, you should've settled for the fatties and entered a relationship and eventually married one of them. You had your shot at happiness, sure a 300 lb happiness, but you did have your chances so do you have the right to be bitter about not getting dates?

....see how stupid you sound?

I get what you're TRYING to say here, but it's hilarious to me that somehow the female equivalent of an average looking guy is someone who's obese. If those guys whom the female is rejecting are also obese, then I agree with your point. Unless you're suggesting that the average looking woman these days is 300 lbs. which doesn't seem like we're too far off here in the states.

February 18, 2011

Ugly people don't fancy other ugly people. Same goes for depressed, miserable, angry. What we like in others is pretty much the same regardless of what we ourselves are like.

If you want to get together with someone who's fun, interesting, presentable, be fun, interesting, presentable. Resolve your own personal issues and you'll be more attractive - because we are attracted to people who aren't ill, and being depressed, monotone, fat, shy are often signs of physical and emotional ill-health. And even if you don't get a hottie immediately at least you'll be happier, healthier and probably wealthier too.

February 18, 2011

I get what you're TRYING to say here, but it's hilarious to me that somehow the female equivalent of an average looking guy is someone who's obese. If those guys whom the female is rejecting are also obese, then I agree with your point. Unless you're suggesting that the average looking woman these days is 300 lbs. which doesn't seem like we're too far off here in the states.

The point I was assuming was the knowledge that women can have many reasons for not being attracted to an "average looking guy". Maybe she doens't like his teeth, his hair, doesn't like his smile, the way he talks, etc. There can be any reason. Guys are more straightforward and aren't as picky about some of the little things so I felt a 300 lb would be an agreed upon trait of unattractiveness that I and the OP could agree upon for the example.

The truth is it doesn't matter WHY they aren't interested in him, they don't owe him anything and if they haven't found a guy that meets what they're looking for then they have every right to feel bad about it. There's no reason anyone should lower their standards, we are who we are and can't help what we're attracted to.

February 18, 2011

What if you were hit on or asked out by 30 women and all of them were 100 lbs overweight. We're talking like 300 lbs type women.

You reject all of them. Do you have a right to feel lonely? You can't complain about women who won't accept your dates, you had every opportunity to go on 30 dates with women, you should've settled for the fatties and entered a relationship and eventually married one of them. You had your shot at happiness, sure a 300 lb happiness, but you did have your chances so do you have the right to be bitter about not getting dates?

....see how stupid you sound?

I get what you're TRYING to say here, but it's hilarious to me that somehow the female equivalent of an average looking guy is someone who's obese. If those guys whom the female is rejecting are also obese, then I agree with your point. Unless you're suggesting that the average looking woman these days is 300 lbs. which doesn't seem like we're too far off here in the states.

bayouboi explains it perfectly. Average guys are not comparable to 300lb women. Lets compare apples to apples.

Lets also not try to pretend that women don't like fat men either.

February 18, 2011

bayouboi explains it perfectly. Average guys are not comparable to 300lb women. Lets compare apples to apples.

Lets also not try to pretend that women don't like fat men either.

I can tell you what they DON'T like....it's obviously you.

February 18, 2011

There's no reason anyone should lower their standards, we are who we are and can't help what we're attracted to.

That's one thing I do disagree with.

If people can't get what they want, then they lower their standards till they can get it.

Though with women, they seem to have an easier time being single than men do.

If being single truly bothered a woman, she'd lower her standards a notch. So the women saying that they are lonely etc. probably didn't feel that way for long and they are content with waiting.

February 18, 2011

You just don't get it man. They don't owe you a date just because you consider yourself an "average dude" and they are having a hard time finding someone they like for dating purposes.

And you wonder why the divorce rate is so high in America...there's dudes like you running around expecting women to settle for "average". They should look for something GREAT, not average, and I commend them for not settling for you to this point, since you're so average.

February 18, 2011

That's one thing I do disagree with.

If people can't get what they want, then they lower their standards till they can get it.

Though with women, they seem to have an easier time being single than men do.

If being single truly bothered a woman, she'd lower her standards a notch. So the women saying that they are lonely etc. probably didn't feel that way for long and they are content with waiting.

Why do you HAVE to be in a relationship? What's wrong with being single? I was single 4 years, and I never lowered my standards even though at times I got bummed out that I was having a hard time finding a girlfriend. But guess what...I DIDNT SETTLE and I found a great girl who has everything I've been looking for.

I'd say it would be WORSE for you if you dated a girl because she lowered her standards to date you. How long do you think that will last? What kind of relationship would that be like? pretty ****ty if you ask me.

Wouldn't you rather be with a girl who finds you to be a catch rather a guy they settled for?

February 18, 2011

They should look for something GREAT, not average

And that's what they are doing.

Trouble is, there's not enough GREAT men to go around. The average guy is well...average.

So we have average girls waiting for the great guy to sweep her off her feet. Odds are he's busy sweeping five other girls. So she'll patiently wait her turn and be shocked and hurt when he cheats on her, like she didn't see it coming

All the while normal dudes are passed over.

February 18, 2011

And that's what they are doing.

Trouble is, there's not enough GREAT men to go around. The average guy is well...average.

So we have average girls waiting for the great guy to sweep her off her feet. Odds are he's busy sweeping five other girls. So she'll patiently wait her turn and be shocked and hurt when he cheats on her, like she didn't see it coming

All the while normal dudes are passed over.

I disagree with this. Greatness is in the eye of the beholder. Any man can be a great catch to the right girl.

And if a guy is cheating, he isn't "great".

February 18, 2011

And that's what they are doing.

Trouble is, there's not enough GREAT men to go around. The average guy is well...average.

So we have average girls waiting for the great guy to sweep her off her feet. Odds are he's busy sweeping five other girls. So she'll patiently wait her turn and be shocked and hurt when he cheats on her, like she didn't see it coming

All the while normal dudes are passed over.

If you consider yourself average, why don't you work to improve yourself to become a great guy? Try to find out how to please women, learn what they look for in men, get in shape, improve your career, develop your own interests and hobbies.

Those "average" girls aren't what you should look for, so why do you care if they pass you up? You don't want that man, look for a great girl, but while you do so improve yourself so when she finds you then you'll have something to offer her in a relationship.

No one will settle for average, so if you're the guy sitting around waiting for "average women" to lower their standards to go out with you then I feel truly bad for you, because even if you get what you want, it'll be a crappy relationship situation for you if a girl with little of offer settled for you.

February 18, 2011

I disagree with this. Greatness is in the eye of the beholder. Any man can be a great catch to the right girl.

And if a guy is cheating, he isn't "great".

I have to disagree.

If a girl considers a guy great, more than likely a bunch of others do as well. They almost seem to be a "hive mind" in what they are attracted to.

The guys that sleep around can only do it because a lot of women think that he is attractive.

If you consider yourself average, why don't you work to improve yourself to become a great guy? Try to find out how to please women, learn what they look for in men, get in shape, improve your career, develop your own interests and hobbies.

Self-improvement takes time and I've been doing it for years. Even then, because of my genetics, I can never become "great."

Those "average" girls aren't what you should look for, so why do you care if they pass you up? You don't want that man, look for a great girl, but while you do so improve yourself so when she finds you then you'll have something to offer her in a relationship.

I'd be more than happy to get an average girl. Sure I'd love a great girl but they won't even look at me for two seconds. I wasted my high school years chasing girls that were too good for me. Being with an average girl is 1,000 times better than being alone.

There's nothing wrong with average. That's what the vast majority of people are.

Edited February 18, 2011 by somedude81

February 18, 2011

If you consider yourself average, why don't you work to improve yourself to become a great guy? Try to find out how to please women, learn what they look for in men, get in shape, improve your career, develop your own interests and hobbies.

Those "average" girls aren't what you should look for, so why do you care if they pass you up? You don't want that man, look for a great girl, but while you do so improve yourself so when she finds you then you'll have something to offer her in a relationship.

No one will settle for average, so if you're the guy sitting around waiting for "average women" to lower their standards to go out with you then I feel truly bad for you, because even if you get what you want, it'll be a crappy relationship situation for you if a girl with little of offer settled for you.

I'd prefer an average woman. Above average women are a headache to please/keep happy

February 18, 2011

I'd prefer an average woman. Above average women are a headache to please/keep happy

I guess our definition of average/above average are different. I consider an above average women to be one that is NOT a headache...why would being a headache make them better than average? That doesn't make sense...

February 18, 2011

That's one thing I do disagree with.

If people can't get what they want, then they lower their standards till they can get it.

Though with women, they seem to have an easier time being single than men do.

If being single truly bothered a woman, she'd lower her standards a notch. So the women saying that they are lonely etc. probably didn't feel that way for long and they are content with waiting.

A woman of 300 pounds is equivalent of a guy who is not a BF material.

A serious BF material means that he has a potential to be a great husband material. A great husband material is combination of qualities such as appearance (genetics), financial securuty(for her and her children), emotional connection and many other things.

It is all about looks and weight only for males who just looking for getting laid. It is about the combination of many complex things for young women because they are looking for a serious relationship.

It is not about lowering standards for girls. But, it is about changing what they are looking for into what they try to avoid most.

February 18, 2011

So while I just want to get some experience and have fun, girls are looking for their husbands even at 20 years old?

So unless the dude is husband material, she won't even consider dating him?

February 18, 2011

I guess our definition of average/above average are different. I consider an above average women to be one that is NOT a headache...why would being a headache make them better than average? That doesn't make sense...

Because, as the poster below you pointed out, when men are talking about average women, they typically mean in the looks department.

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Woman: A right to be sad about being single if she's rejected every guy who's asked?

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