Woman: A right to be sad about being single if she's rejected every guy who's asked?

[somedude81]

This one is puzzling.

 

A couple of girls that I'm FB friends with posted something like they are sad to be alone on V-day. Then there is the usual trail of guy commenters encouraging her or making jokes.

 

Then I wonder how many guys have asked them out, how many they rejected.

 

So if a girl rejected every guy who's asked her out, does she have a "right" to be sad about being alone?

[johan]

If she wasn't interested in any of those guys, then it was right for her to turn them all down. Regardless of what her own traits are, she can no more help being attracted to who she's attracted to than anyone else.

 

Do you have a right to complain about being lonely if you mentally reject or else shy away from every woman you meet?

[Yamaha]

I have talked to women who only find 1%-2% of the male population dateable.

Lots of women reject the majority of men that ask for a date.

 

As for being sad, it's called drama and women thrive on it!!

[dreamingoftigers]

I have talked to women who only find 1%-2% of the male population dateable.

Lots of women reject the majority of men that ask for a date.

 

As for being sad, it's called drama and women thrive on it!!

 

What are you talking about? You are such a jerk and I am going to tell everyone!!

 

How dare you say that we "thrive on drama!" This is the most insulting thing ever.

 

Whatever dude!

 

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

[somedude81]

If she wasn't interested in any of those guys, then it was right for her to turn them all down. Regardless of what her own traits are, she can no more help being attracted to who she's attracted to than anyone else.

 

Do you have a right to complain about being lonely if you mentally reject or else shy away from every woman you meet?

Sure it was her right to turn them all down, but being sad about being alone after having plenty of opportunities to not be?

 

I actively pursue and get rejected by women. If I didn't try, then I'd have no right to complain.

I have talked to women who only find 1%-2% of the male population dateable.

Lots of women reject the majority of men that ask for a date.

 

As for being sad, it's called drama and women thrive on it!!

Little princesses.

 

Heh, being sad about being alone causes them drama and makes them feel better (where's my eye spinning smiley?)

[january2011]

If she wasn't interested in any of those guys, then it was right for her to turn them all down. Regardless of what her own traits are, she can no more help being attracted to who she's attracted to than anyone else.

 

Do you have a right to complain about being lonely if you mentally reject or else shy away from every woman you meet?

 

Seconded..

[somedude81]

Even if for some reason she's not attracted to anybody who asks her out, is she going to complain about being alone till she finds her prince?

[somedude81]

females desire tall, dark, handsome, rich. they tell somebody who isnt perfect to take a hike. then compain about being alone. princesses they are.

Don't they realize that dragons need love too?

 

Heh, best I could come up with

[Yamaha]

It's not all about looks with women. They really believe in chemistry and a connection. A women will date a average guy they feel chemistry with vs. a good looking man that depends on his looks.

 

Lust comes and goes but chemistry is the glue that makes for a lasting relationship.

[bac]

This one is puzzling.

 

 

Then I wonder how many guys have asked them out, how many they rejected.

 

So if a girl rejected every guy who's asked her out, does she have a "right" to be sad about being alone?

 

She has the right and also she can not help being sad. Every girl wants to find the right guy and it is so difficult to find him.

I do not think that she would be happier if she was with the wrong guy who is a total turn off. It is much more pleasant to be alone than to be with an ugly and angry jerk.

[Duckduckgoose]

Hmm... they are going to complain whether they have "the right" to do so or not.

 

As far as rejecting all kinds of men in favor of finding Mr. Right... sometimes you gotta find a Mr. Right Now and see how that goes.

 

Its not the kind of person I am but it works for some.

[somedude81]

She has the right and also she can not help being sad. Every girl wants to find the right guy and it is so difficult to find him.

I do not think that she would be happier if she was with the wrong guy who is a total turn off. It is much more pleasant to be alone than to be with an ugly and angry jerk.

Aren't you assuming a lot? Odds are the guys are average looking decent guys, but for whatever reason, not "good enough" for her.

Hmm... they are going to complain whether they have "the right" to do so or not.

 

As far as rejecting all kinds of men in favor of finding Mr. Right... sometimes you gotta find a Mr. Right Now and see how that goes.

 

Its not the kind of person I am but it works for some.

Exactly, how are you going to find Mr. Right if you don't give and Mr. Rightnow's a chance?

[Titania22]

I think she has a right to be sad, but not a right to inflict it on the people around her.

[sweetjasmine]

Little princesses.

 

Dude, you're so bitter about it that it's incredibly off-putting.

 

Not everyone wants to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. I'd rather be alone and sad about it than force myself into a relationship with someone I don't really want to be with.

[zengirl]

Sure, someone (male or female) has a right to be sad that they cannot find the partner they want. I'd rather be single than in a bad relationship, but that doesn't mean I don't want a good relationship (hypothetical in this case).

 

Anyone who sees all men, all women, or all relationships as interchangable is not really ready to date anyone. I think a mature person can very well turn down some people who aren't suitable partners and still feel sad she/he doesn't have a suitable partner on a fluffy, romantic holiday.

[waynebrady]

A woman being sad about being single compared to a man being sad for the same thing is like... an American(for example) being sad about dropping a pizza slice and a poor african child being sad about not having eaten for a week.

[irc333]

Right, it's one thing to turn down guys all the time, but to turnt hem down, then whine how you can't meet a guy or are "Alone on V-Day".....well, I'm going to call her out on it. lol

 

I knew of one woman that complained, and I think some guys asked her out as a response. (she probably rejected or ignored them, and was getting her ego filled on Facebook at the same time, lol)

 

If a woman's going to complain publicly about her singleness, then rest assured, she's going to get a response questioning how she rejects tons of guys, and not giving them a shot.

 

I see this on dating sites all the time with the chronically single dating site "Veterans" who start to update their profile out of frustration in how they can't meet a decent guy.

 

But it's funny if a decent guy emails them, they ignore them.

 

 

Sure it was her right to turn them all down, but being sad about being alone after having plenty of opportunities to not be?

 

I actively pursue and get rejected by women. If I didn't try, then I'd have no right to complain.

 

Little princesses.

 

Heh, being sad about being alone causes them drama and makes them feel better (where's my eye spinning smiley?)

[phineas]

I think she has a right to be sad, but not a right to inflict it on the people around her.

 

YES!

 

Thank you!

 

If she is picky, that's her problem really.

[Mrlonelyone]

females want a decent guy thats tall, dark, handsome, and rich. no setling. double standards.

That's really not true.

 

The real truth is that women signal their interest in men in any number of subtle ways. They don't come out and say it but they do show their interest. To a woman a man not noticing her interest is the same as being rejected as a man.

 

That woman complaining about being alone feels just as rejected as a man who has asked out 100 women.

 

Try to remember....most of the men who approach a woman are not looking for a relationship they are just looking to screw.

[Mrlonelyone]

females ae subtle and dont say they want tall dark handsome and rich, but they want that ina male. i learnt at a young are females pefer males who want to screw quickly. youll be branded nice if you dont want to screw in a few meetings and females dont want nice even tho some say they do

There's a difference between wanting to screw quickly... as in within a few weeks... and looking to screw that afternoon, or the next day.

 

You would be surprised how many men approach a woman looking to 4uck and forget.

[Cee]

I believe in the sincerity of the OP's thread. From sumdude's other threads, I sense he's trying to make sense of the male/female dating dynamic.

 

For the past 6 months, I was sincerely trying to find a boyfriend. It's almost like job hunting where there are many openings, but often it doesn't work out. I changed my standards radically to the basics - compatibility and availability. Those are really tough standards though. But I have so much to give so a person must be able to take that in and reciprocate.

 

I stumbled onto a good relationship. I paid attention to the availability and interest cues he sent and reciprocated. I knew it was right because for the first time in years I felt calm and satisfied while we have been dating. It was well worth the wait.

 

By the way, I think complaining about being single can erode one's happiness and sense of self. Singlehood can be a wonderful thing. The loneliness and lack of affection can be hard, but relationships with self, friends, family, and a sense of purpose are fulfilling in and of themselves.

[Anela]

If she wasn't interested in any of those guys, then it was right for her to turn them all down. Regardless of what her own traits are, she can no more help being attracted to who she's attracted to than anyone else.

 

Do you have a right to complain about being lonely if you mentally reject or else shy away from every woman you meet?

 

I was going to ask the same thing...

[Jazzari]

I think they are really sad about not being in love. You can be with someone and still be alone.

[somedude81]

IMO if a woman was truly sad about being alone, she'd be actively kissing frogs. Not sitting on her tuffet declining the frogs or just ignoring them.

 

BTW, I should have probably used complain instead of being sad. One of the girls actually made two FB updates lamenting her sorrow.

 

One thing that bugs me is that all the girls defending her are saying that it's better to be sad than to be in a bad relationship. How are you figuring that none of the guys that asked her out could give her a good relationship?

Right, it's one thing to turn down guys all the time, but to turnt hem down, then whine how you can't meet a guy or are "Alone on V-Day".....well, I'm going to call her out on it. lol

 

I knew of one woman that complained, and I think some guys asked her out as a response. (she probably rejected or ignored them, and was getting her ego filled on Facebook at the same time, lol)

 

If a woman's going to complain publicly about her singleness, then rest assured, she's going to get a response questioning how she rejects tons of guys, and not giving them a shot.

 

I see this on dating sites all the time with the chronically single dating site "Veterans" who start to update their profile out of frustration in how they can't meet a decent guy.

 

But it's funny if a decent guy emails them, they ignore them.

Sadly I fell for that trap. I tried to resist the urge to message her on V-day but it was late and night and I saw that she actively participating in her "lonely me" update. I sent her a very casual email about seeing when she had time between classes. Ignored.

 

I wonder how many guys emailed her.

 

And yes I am struggling to understand the male/female dating dynamic. What's making it hard is that I have to do it as a 3rd party observer.

 

I agree that complaining can make make life more depressing. Especially because it forces you to actually think about what is wrong.

[carhill]

1. Stay off of Facebook and have real female friends in real life.

 

Then I wonder how many guys have asked them out, how many they rejected.

 

2. Ask them.

 

So if a girl rejected every guy who's asked her out, does she have a "right" to be sad about being alone?

 

Absolutely, they have the right and privilege to feel any way they wish. Others, including yourself, are not required to validate, support or in any way, shape or form pay attention to those feelings. That's your (collective your) choice.