babybear Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 I am in quite a bit of shock right now. My brother has been in a long term relationship with his gf. For whatever reasons, he never felt in his heart he should propose, yet didn't break it off. She didn't leave either - probably because he helped her raise her 2 kids and provided a lot of financial support (yes, i think his bank account has a lot to do with it). He's 35 and she's a year or 2 older. Also, my family is a bit strict and traditional in terms of culture and religion, and I think he questioned how it would all mesh together. Anyhow - I found out a few days ago she is pregnant. She got off the pill without telling him, because on a whim decided she wanted one - and didn't discuss it with him. He was in complete shock, and it was not something he wanted or was ready for in any way. No, he shouldn't have depended on the pill 100%, I agree. My parents have no clue, and will be devastated. He's their "golden child", and he's having a baby with this woman he may not ever want to marry. I asked if he confronted her, and he said the health of the baby is his concern, and he can't put stress on the mother. I feel terrible for him, that this blessing had to come this way. The way she broke trust is still hard for me to digest. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? I don't know how to make heads or tails of it right now. He's such a nice guy, I can't believe a woman could be so selfish.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 Your brother is a good man and you should know that she can't force him to marry her. If he is as responsible as you described him, he will be there for the baby and to provide financial support. Just know having a baby outside of a marriage doesn't mean that he's stuck with her. If they can work the financial and child custody arrangements, I don't see how he can't find a new girlfriend, someone whom he loves, and still remain in his child's life.
Author babybear Posted February 15, 2011 Author Posted February 15, 2011 Ok, so is it safe to say that she did this in order to have him marry her? Is that most likely what her motivation was?
D78 Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 ... No, he shouldn't have depended on the pill 100%, I agree. Well, he could have depended on the pill 99.9999999%. The problem was that he depended on his girlfriend to be honest. ... My parents have no clue, and will be devastated. He's their "golden child", and he's having a baby with this woman he may not ever want to marry. I asked if he confronted her, and he said the health of the baby is his concern, and he can't put stress on the mother. I feel terrible for him, that this blessing had to come this way. The way she broke trust is still hard for me to digest. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? I don't know how to make heads or tails of it right now. He's such a nice guy, I can't believe a woman could be so selfish. My brother was not tricked into having his first child, but he wasn't married and my parents were pretty upset. It's a different situation because his girlfriend was awesome and she is now his wife. I am mentioning it because the first time they saw their grandchild, my parents became absolutely goofy in love and I never heard another word about them not being married. Hopefully your parents will have a similar experience. Did your brother break up with her? It seems like it would be impossible to trust her or forgive her for being so selfish. Good luck to you and your brother.
Author babybear Posted February 15, 2011 Author Posted February 15, 2011 D78 - No, he hasn't broken it off... I haven't really gotten a chance to talk to him about all of it yet, but I hope he leaves her. I can hardly stand the thought of her, much less the sight of her anymore! Apparently she told him she was pregnant and gave him 1 week to tell my family. That wasn't enough time for him, so she took matters into her own hands, and called my sister. And then she told my sister if he didn't tell the rest of us, she'd call us all too, one by one. So, her character is pretty evident. But nobody wants to tell her what we think of her b/c she is carrying a child. It's a sticky situation. But I hope he walks. He deserves someone who loves him enough not to blindside him this way.
Duckduckgoose Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 I'm gonna be Captain Obvious here and say what no one else wants to say: Don't you just hate a bitch that does that ****?
milkmaterial Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 damn what a bitch. paternity test asap
mickleb Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 I don't get all this pussy-footing around the woman just because she's got a bun in the oven. Sounds like she needs a good talking to, for the sake of the child, her and anyone else affected by her actions. She won't suddenly collapse and become terribly ill, just because she hears the truth. x
Author babybear Posted February 15, 2011 Author Posted February 15, 2011 Maybe she does actually need a good talking to! I don't think we can all hold it in much longer!
mickleb Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Maybe she does actually need a good talking to! I don't think we can all hold it in much longer! The hard part is not getting emotional when you talk to her. Imagine she's a business colleague then say everything you need to, looking her directly in the eye. Good luck. x
fiat500 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 That's insane that she did that. And the way she conducted herself afterward was classless. You need to tell your brother that he shouldn't worry about putting the baby's health in danger just because he tells the mother she is out of line. What she did was extremely selfish and crazy. If anything, her character puts the baby in danger.
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