Fondue Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 I don't ever really ask other people's advice on such subjects, but I guess today I can make an exception. I'm pretty decent at dealing with women and attraction, but I always failed at one thing: body language. I simply suck at reading it. It's something I was never able to "grasp," I suppose. I have people point this out to me all the time. Anyway, the story has somewhat to deal with it. I go out about once a week. Either on Friday or Saturday. I play my game, meet some girls, maybe get somewhere. Maybe meet with them later, whatever. I'm not that bad at this. Though this most recent Friday was different. I met my friend (I'm gonna call her A) at the bars and she brought some of her "cute" friends. I didn't really find much appealing about any of them, so I blew them off and told her I'm going back to a different bar. Before I left, A had ended up telling me that she had spoken to her other lady friends a few weeks back and how the two of them still asking about me, and how I'm doing, and still kinda think about me. Truth is, over the summer, the two girls A was talking about (whom were both smokin' hot), whom were BEST friends, both started to dig me. It was weird. I hung out with the both on separate occasions, and they both ended up liking me. It was cool. I will call them N and D. N had claimed "dibs" on me first, so D was no longer available for me. I didn't like this. I thought N was immature as **** and D was actually quite awesome. I definitely liked her more. We ended up going get drinks at one of the bars here and had a good time. She definitely was into me. She was always close, holding on to me, kissed me on the cheek, etc. etc. It was nice. She ended up telling me that she had some nice feelings for me. It was good. By the end of the night, I tried to get a kiss from her before leaving the place at the parking lot. I told her I wanted to kiss her, and she said she wanted it too, but she couldn't do this to her friend because that would disrespect her friend. She had "dibs." It sucked. I had just said "alright, I understand" and left it at that. Didn't do any more hugging/etc. It was just done for me. She texted me about 4am that night, saying how she really wanted to, and how she really likes me, but still couldn't disrespect her friend. Basically, I blew it off and just spent the next couple of days texting each other and dancing around the issue. We ended up discussing it, and I told her I'm not willing to be her friend. It's either romance, or nothing at all. That's how it ended. I don't deal with this friends bull****. So fast forward till the most recent Friday. If you read all that, you understand the situation. My friend, A, had told me she spoke with N and D recently and they said tehy still think about me and stuff. IT was cool. I took this opportunity to my advantage. I decided to just simply get in contact with D right away and get her to come out. I didn't give her option of "what are you doing tonight," or "how you been?" etc. It was just "We are at this bar right now, join us now." That's how I did it. Just TOLD her to come out. She got all excited when I contacted her saying we haven't spoken to each other, etc. etc. I just went about my business and told her to leave her house now. She went along with it and promptly left her place. She came to the bar, HOT AS HELL. She definitely put on some makeup and tried a bit. All made up and everything. It was awesome. I was more excited than a kid on Christmas. I decided that my game plan was gonna be same as the way I got her out of the house. I was gonna be in control. So I spent the night kinda casually talking with my friends, giving her a bit of attention here and there, but also kind of teasing her a bit. We were all talking about school or work. I had recently went on an interview for a huge medical opportunity, and I think I got the job. I made a comment about that and my friend, A, was like, "you're gonna take me out to dinner when you get that job, right!?" D immediately interjected and said, "yah! you're taking me out too, right? :)" I said no D in a funny way, but said yes to A. I kinda teased here a bit. It worked out well, I think. Anyway, the girls bought me drinks (even though I was already pretty intoxicated) and generally were going on with our conversations. Was pretty good. I took them to other places in command. I just said, "girls, give me your hands. We're now going to ________ place." That's how I went around that night. Pretty much being in control, 100%. They went with it. It was cool. D was kind of into me, talking, but wasn't sending me clear signals of interest, I thought. It was weird. Maybe she was shy because we haven't seen each other in a while. That's what I took it as. Anyway, here's the part about NOT UNDERSTANDING BODY LANGUAGE. I eventually took them to the Pizza place for some 3am snack. She sat next to me. She rested her leg next to mine. Our legs were touching each other as it they were stuck togetehr at the thigh. There was plenty of more space for her to sit, and not touch me, but it happened this way. So I tried to take my leg away for a bit, and then slowly put it back, it was instant that the legs met each other again and had again, rested on one another. I took this as a GOOD sign. She was comfortable with me, I THINK. Here's where it gets hazy. I also was giving her high-fives for "good" thigns she was saying as a sign of approval, but she wasn't like holding onto my hand afterwards. I took it as a bad sign. Eventually, I decided that it was time to bounce. A was really tired, it seemed. She was saying how she had to get up early in the morning. D wasn't really affirming that. She wasn't saying such things, but I don't know if she really wanted to stay longe rwith me either. SHe wasn't giving me the signs that tell me that she wants to be with me more. So as a last move, I took the girls' hands, and told them we're leaving. I squeezed D's hand for a sec, and then released. She didn't squeeze back. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. I keep hearing that this is a good body language sign-- When someone squeezes back. So I took her gesture as a bad sign. I eventaully, on the walk back, decided to release their hands and simply walk ahead of them, and talk about bull**** while walking backwards facing them. I told them a story I probably should have. A funny story about some slut we met the other week here with my buddy who was with us (she had offered fellatio for a cigarette, interesting conversation ensued). As we got to our cars, there was distance between myself, the girls, and my buddy. It was a weird triangle. I just didn't attempt anything from there. No hugs, no nothing. Just pointed two figures at A, and said "you're awesome!" (she's probably the only true female friend I have, I hate friendships with women). I kinda ignored D and left. My friend and I walked to my car after we dropped them off at their's. That was my night. I got some good signals, I got some bad ones. I dunno if I should proceed with this. Maybe forget it happened, or see what she's doing some other day. The way I deal with women, typically, is through trying to not care and be as "I don't give two ****s" as possible, but at the same time, "it's my way or the highway." This current situation doesn't really apply to either scenario. I can see what's up with her now, and play it off like I don't care, but that would be weird. Cause I already did that before. Anyway, thought I would share this with the LS crowd. This is probably my first story. I don't really tell much because I usually figure this stuff out-- except for this particular one. I can't come up with a plan. Didn't read the situation well enough to understand everything. I think I had too many drinks-- ugh. Any thoughts? THank you
ShatteredReality Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 Try the no games no BS approach. Ask her out. Then you will know. Time has passed. Dibs are done. If she still feels it's a betrayal to her friend tell her "I want to date you - not her - so why don't you ask her if you two will be ok if you date me?". No games - no BS - just open and honest communication. And try it sober...it's much easier to read body language when you aren't drunk.
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