soleharmony1123 Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 (edited) I was re-reading an article that I came across sometime ago on baggage.reclaim.co.uk. In the article Natalie, the author had this to say in response to the question in italics:: What about men that leave you and meet someone else that they end up marrying/getting engaged to/ or essentially doing more than they did with you? This is why I keep telling women to stop trying to raise men from the ground up and change them because the overwhelming likelihood is that it’s the NEXT woman that profits from your rennovation whilst you sit there in negative equity! Realizing this is what happened to me was rather difficult to absorb. Yet it's true. My Ex came home a year ago and didn't know how he was going to find a job within a reasonable timeframe. I continually stood by him, encouraged him, prepared his resume, filled out online job applications for him with all the right lingo that would prompt a prospective employer to see him as a great candidate. I was instrumental in helping him secure employment. He had no idea where he could go to increase his odds of securing employment. I supplied him with the information I obtained through research and within 3 months he was hired and has been employed ever since - even got a second job based on information I had shared with him. And now he's with someone else who is benefiting from my hard work. That makes me angry and also makes me feel used, taken advantage of. I'm working through all this today, although it's been a bit rough. Seems like there's always some residual emotion somewhere aching to come to the surface. I guess this is it. I'm being patient and gentle with myself because I acted out of love. My ex has operated purely out of greed and for selfish gain. I guess in the end, he'll get what he deserves, if he's not already getting it. This is where I am today... (Disclaimer: Valentine's Day is not the issue - have never celebrated it) Edited February 15, 2011 by soleharmony1123
Free spirit86 Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 I can definitely relate to how your feeling in a sense. There is a definite need for each of us to be seen for our efforts and our strivings, thus, be appreciated for them. I cannot imagine putting so much into someone just to see them walk away to be with someone else. You were loyal and supportive and that is hard to find in people these days. Keep being you...keep being a beautiful person.
depplover_1980 Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 (edited) He took you for granted big time and didn't deserve you. Also as painful as it may be, you just didn't light his fire enough and he stayed out of habit. However I am 100% certain there will be someone out there that fully appreciates all your giving nature and returns in other ways to make your own life richer. You need a successful man to show you how it's meant to be. Chin up as my dad says... x Edited February 15, 2011 by depplover_1980
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