tiger20 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I don't get it. There seems to be a double standard. If a woman says she needs space then the guy is somehow expected to sit around & wait for her to figure things out. If he moves on and dates other women then he's a real jerk. If on the other hand a man says he needs space then she'll tell him to go jump in the lake! Or if a man says he's not ready for a relationship he's a real jerk but if a woman says she's not ready for a relationship then the guy is expected to just give her time.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Do you feel that you've been denied normal knowledge?
Kaileah Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Oh dear... I'm in that situation at the moment, except I'm the one giving my boyfriend space. I guess there's something wrong with me?
Purplehaze Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I don't think anyone should willingly be put on the back burner while the other decides if they want you or not. That sucks to be manipulated like that.
Dante311 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I don't think anyone should willingly be put on the back burner while the other decides if they want you or not. That sucks to be manipulated like that. to me... space is a prolonged breakup and it HURTS. best thing you can do, end it, no contact for a period... if both parties are willing to work at it down the road, give it a second chance. otherwise, move on. i'm going through this now. First I wanted space. She didn't give it. NOW, she wants space.. and when I violate that, she freaks the **** out and tells me I'm an *******. We're "friends" now... but we don't talk.. don't hangout... and I'm over it. If she comes back, unless I realize I NEED her in my life.. she's toxic... stupid for letting me go so easily (and she knows this) ..it's done. good luck to whoever is in this ****ed up situation
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Since you only want to date a woman 2X per week, and you won't be impinging on her personal space when you DO spend time together since you are against sex ... seems like the "space" thing would be a non - issue for you in any dating scenario. Both you and the women have 5 whole days per week to see anyone, do anything that they want to do without taking anything away from your time together. The problem??
Drop kicked Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 This seems very similar to what I had gone through with who is my now again ex fiance. She moved out and blew me off any time I made an attempt to spend time with her or our daughter. Months had gone by and I guess after I had gotten over her I started dating someone else. After a weekend with my daughter and spending the day with the girl I was dating, I had to drop my daughter off at the ex's house and the girl had come with me because it was on the way home from the day out. The ex had seen her in my truck and some time later told me she spent the night crying on the phone with her girlfriend talking about how much she missed me and what not. I suppose it was only she realized that I had moved on that she began to show interest in me again.
samspade Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I don't get it. There seems to be a double standard. If a woman says she needs space then the guy is somehow expected to sit around & wait for her to figure things out. If he moves on and dates other women then he's a real jerk. If on the other hand a man says he needs space then she'll tell him to go jump in the lake! Or if a man says he's not ready for a relationship he's a real jerk but if a woman says she's not ready for a relationship then the guy is expected to just give her time. When a woman tells a man she needs space, this just means she doesn't want to be with him any more at that time. (This is subject to change.) The best thing a man can do for himself is move on, either with other women or with himself. Waiting for her to "figure things out" (read: sex other men) is a fool's errand. And by the way, you're not a "jerk" if you move on and date others. In fact, this is the only way you have to keep yourself mentally and emotionally sound. As a bonus, it will get into her head like nobody's business - a woman expects when she dumps you that you will wallow in sadness and beg for her return. Ignore her and move on. Your attention, or lack thereof, is your smartest weapon. Anything else feeds her ego.
Author tiger20 Posted February 17, 2011 Author Posted February 17, 2011 Since you only want to date a woman 2X per week, and you won't be impinging on her personal space when you DO spend time together since you are against sex ... seems like the "space" thing would be a non - issue for you in any dating scenario. Both you and the women have 5 whole days per week to see anyone, do anything that they want to do without taking anything away from your time together. The problem?? The problem is that I still want to have an exclusive relationship. Just because I don't want to get married doesn't mean I don't want an exclusive relationship for the rest of my life.
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