ICE911 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Ok....going to try and keep this as short as possible. 1 year ago i met my a girl and we started to date. I ended up cheating on her like 3 weeks after we started dating. I was reckless and thought I could get away with anything. This is not something that I have ever done before. I will not sit here and try and make up excuses. I was an ass and dont deserve a great women like her. She found out I cheated and broke up with me. She then later decided to take me back and we dated for about 6 months before she ended things because she could not forget what had happened. So I was devestated and heart broken for 1.5 months. Then she changed her mind and wanted me back again. So I said yes and we dated for 3 weeks before she told me she still could not deal with my betrayal. Then told me to stop calling and texting her and that she didnt love me anymore. So I tried texting her for a while but then gave up and eventually dated someone else, which didnt last more then 3 weeks. Anyways during that 3 weeks to a month I ignored my ex to the extreme and it made her real angry then extremely sad and ....long story short she wants me back like crazy. Problem is I don't know if I'm walking into a danger zone or if I should just meet up with a few different women. I still have feelings for my ex and am very confused as to what is best for me. The ex is definitely putting the heat on me.
gator12 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 If you love her then go for it, if not then stay away. Reason being this, you need real love in order for this relationship to work for the simple reason of your cheating. You broke her trust and it takes ALOT of communication and work to get past that. You can't just hope into a relationship with her and pretend that nothing happened, you need to talk to her about her feelings etc. She obviously likes you but her trust in you is lost. Only go for it again if you are ready for the committment that it will take, it will be hard to regain it but you can do it. Now if you cheat on her again you can politely dig a hole and bury yourself in it lol. No seriously though, don't cheat again, that isn't cool or right in any way shape or form. If you feel that temptation, then just stay out of a relationship. -Gator
PegNosePete Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 What makes you think she won't dump you again for exactly the same reason as the last 3 times? Have you discussed it recently, or just burying your head in the sand hoping it won't be mentioned?
Author ICE911 Posted February 15, 2011 Author Posted February 15, 2011 That's exactly why I haven't been able to tell her I want to get back together. She said she understands that if we got back together she will have to just leave things in the past. I told her I thought she had realised that the last time she wanted me back and were together once again. Anyways, now she is furious at me and doesnt want me to bother her. She says she now feels completely rejected and a worthless piece of **** and that I should leave her alone. It's always like a push or pull game. Even if I did or do come around she will pull the whole push pull game. Guaranteed.
Author ICE911 Posted February 15, 2011 Author Posted February 15, 2011 Thanks Gator. All I know right now is that having her absent from my life, as I think right now, would be very tough. So I am asking myself if I should take a leap of faith...or end up risking getting burned again.
gator12 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 You need to work on the issues that have lead to the breakup that last 3 times. If they aren't dealt with it will end the same way again. You guys sound like you have love, but no communication. If the problems aren't dealt with the relationship will never be happy. You can't "put it all behind you", at least not at first. You have to fix it and then put it in the past. So take a leap of faith, trust in love, but then realize it is sacrifice and hard work. And it is gonna take exactly that from both of you. -Gator
thegreatmistake Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I agree with Gator. If you want to fix things you need to discuss this with you GF and if you both agree to fix things you need to both sort out your separate issues, take however much time you need to sort yourselves out, and then both invest the time and effort necessary to fix things into the relationship.
NICKST3R Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 man u need to talk to her. honestly, the way i see true love is that you have no urge to cheat whatsoever. that girl is the one and the only one and no one else is even appealing to you. are u sure u really love her or do you just want something familiar? im in still in love with my ex, we've been apart for 9mo and i cant even be attracted to other women. but, ur whole cheating thing is over and done with so time to step forward. u wont get anywhere till u get her trust back and its going to take some time. just spend time with her without talking about starting things up again. go w/the flow
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