Woggle Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I know sometimes it seems that I idolize my player friends and while there were moments that I envied that life I no longer do. I would not give up what I have now for all the attractive women in the world because I have the best right at home. That being said when I look at the things some of my friends did back in the day while I was wasting time trying bending over backwards for a woman that screwed me over anyway I get envious. If I just had my fun and played around in my younger days I would not have the serious trust issues I have now despite hitting the marriage lottery. I know there is no way to go back but I am just venting this.
carhill Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 My only regret was actually caring, in the moment, about the women who got pumped and dumped by the 'wild oats' guys and treated me like shyte as a result. It really bothered me for a long time. I've resisted the temptation to have my revenge on them, seeking rather peace and solitude. Hopefully I'll be clear of the gold diggers and emotional whores for the time I have left on this earth. The past is the past and I prefer it to remain there. I sympathize with your vent. You've endured a lot more in that regard than I. Glad you found peace and a healthy partner. Just rewards.
Lovelybird Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Good for you to hit the lottery of marriage. Sometimes I ask myself the same question. Although I don't resent I didn't sow wild oats, I wish I can simply date many guys just for knowing a person and being shapened in this picking area. I really did wasted many many years for whom now I don't think worth of it (if I tell you, you won't believe it. I waited for guys online for couples of years--although this made me very strong inside). But again, why I did that, this question is truly worthy of attention, and a little bit hard to face it. Maybe all those negatives will play out positves in my life. Maybe what they did is simply making me a little bit closer to the real one The negative you experienced before seems to make you more approciate your wife, isn't it?
Lovelybird Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 My only regret was actually caring, in the moment, about the women who got pumped and dumped by the 'wild oats' guys and treated me like shyte as a result. It really bothered me for a long time. I've resisted the temptation to have my revenge on them, seeking rather peace and solitude. Hopefully I'll be clear of the gold diggers and emotional whores for the time I have left on this earth. The past is the past and I prefer it to remain there. I sympathize with your vent. You've endured a lot more in that regard than I. Glad you found peace and a healthy partner. Just rewards. If you resent, then you were not truly giving at that moment Just saying
Author Woggle Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 The funny thing is that the wild oats guys for the most part eventually grew up and are now in happy and healthy relationships while the former nice guys are bitter messes. I got in three years of being wild between marriages though so maybe that is enough.
carhill Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 If you resent, then you were not truly giving at that moment Just saying Regret does not equal resent. They are dead to me. The last cat that me exW 'dumped' on me that she didn't want died two days ago. With it died the last remnant and reminders of the waste of my time and love.
JohnP82 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I know exactly how you feel. I have a wonderful girlfriend and I am happy with her. I just wasted so much of my time in my early twenties shy and attracted to the wrong women. It makes me feel like Frank the Tank during counseling in Old School.
USMCHokie Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 The funny thing is that the wild oats guys for the most part eventually grew up and are now in happy and healthy relationships while the former nice guys are bitter messes. I got in three years of being wild between marriages though so maybe that is enough. Yep...I am definitely jealous and bitter of those guys who lived the wild oats phase of their life...but instead I just wallowed in my own pool of self-pity for much of my younger years...
january2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I could regret not getting out of my LTR earlier and be bitter that I'm now at a stage where everyone I meet seems to have some kind of baggage, which makes dating like navigating a minefield. Hmmm, the insecurity of my 20s vs. the baggage of my 30s, interesting dilemma. However, I still have my health and I'm young enough to learn but old enough to know better. Besides, regret is not a useful emotion for me - I can't do anything with it. Might as well just create opportunities for myself in the now and see what happens.
Eeyore79 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I wasted my teens and twenties on unsuitable guys who either didn't love me, or who I didn't love. It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted in a partner, and to have the self esteem to feel that I deserve to find it. I wish I'd figured out earlier how to find someone I love, so I wouldn't have had to live in sadness and loneliness without love for so long. Having said that, if I hadn't met the bad guys, maybe I wouldn't appreciate a good one. I would be a different person, and I think my experiences have led me to understand how to love and appreciate a good man. I suppose I should just be happy that I have someone to love now
Jannah Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Some of you should form a group "the I wish I sowed my wild oats" group. I wish I traveled around the world instead of working since age 17, yes Jannah, get over it....I only have about 40 more years until retirement and then I can collect SS if I'm lucky.
Cee Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 The main regret I have is that I polluted my lungs with cigarettes for so many years. I didn't care if I lived or died back then. Now, that I'm 40 and happy, I want long life and health.
Crazy Magnet Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I wonder how many of those guys ran around for years feeling empty on the inside? Maybe they did, maybe they didn't. I'm not sure they would admit to it either way.
GorillaTheater Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 The fact that I've been in an exclusive relationship with my wife since I was 20, and that I feel like I did a great job of sowing my oats before then, might tell you something about how entirely out of hand my teen years were. Some of thoese road trips to the border ... just damn.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I know sometimes it seems that I idolize my player friends and while there were moments that I envied that life I no longer do. I would not give up what I have now for all the attractive women in the world because I have the best right at home. That being said when I look at the things some of my friends did back in the day while I was wasting time trying bending over backwards for a woman that screwed me over anyway I get envious. If I just had my fun and played around in my younger days I would not have the serious trust issues I have now despite hitting the marriage lottery. I know there is no way to go back but I am just venting this. Is it just the sex you feel that you missed out on?
ascendotum Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 The funny thing is that the wild oats guys for the most part eventually grew up and are now in happy and healthy relationships while the former nice guys are bitter messes. I got in three years of being wild between marriages though so maybe that is enough. though its not quite as black & white as this in all cases, from an overall generalization perspective, what you wrote above can be applied to the guys I know in my part of the world. Woggle I think you did alright if you had 3 yrs of fun then struck the jackot with your new wife. I think there is an increasing tendency in society say over the last 15yrs to admire the player/playa lifestyle, by both sexes. With my friends it was not the guys who slept with 80+ club skanks I envied the most, it was the guys who did well with women but who were not classed as players but leaned towards being charming womanizers. These guys would generally have a 6mth-2yr relationship then a bunch of ONS, then another relationship then a bunch of ONS and so on. Because they spent more time in relationships (STR) they would end up with great quality women.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 though its not quite as black & white as this in all cases, from an overall generalization perspective, what you wrote above can be applied to the guys I know in my part of the world. Woggle I think you did alright if you had 3 yrs of fun then struck the jackot with your new wife. I think there is an increasing tendency in society say over the last 15yrs to admire the player/playa lifestyle, by both sexes. With my friends it was not the guys who slept with 80+ club skanks I envied the most, it was the guys who did well with women but who were not classed as players but leaned towards being charming womanizers. These guys would generally have a 6mth-2yr relationship then a bunch of ONS, then another relationship then a bunch of ONS and so on. Because they spent more time in relationships (STR) they would end up with great quality women. Reminds me of James Bond or the Dos Equis spokesman. Either way, I'm 22. Hopefully I can transform into the bolded font guy.
Feelin Frisky Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I've been kicking myself in my recent thoughts over a couple of hotties I let get away too. Well, now that I think of it, add a few more on to that list. I don't wish I were a "player" but these few during that time would have been good for me and I "should have" played just a little harder.
Author Woggle Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Is it just the sex you feel that you missed out on? It's not the sex but mainly the freedom. Honestly this thread just about me regretting the years I spent trying to nurture an awful relationship that has left tons of scars.
AD1980 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 im 30 and fear if i do ever find somebody that will happen...actually probably the opposite..ill be so grateful somebody finds me attractive that ill take allot of **** thinking i cant find anyone else....
sally4sara Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 The joke really is on them when it comes to the ONS player group. They avoid relationships and focus on racking up the numbers and what does it get them? An ungodly number of women who know they don't know how to **** well.
Author Woggle Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 The joke really is on them when it comes to the ONS player group. They avoid relationships and focus on racking up the numbers and what does it get them? An ungodly number of women who know they don't know how to **** well. Most of them actually grew up and are in happy relationships. I bet I wouldn't have half the baggage I do if I played around until I met my current wife. If I could do it over again this would be my first marriage.
sally4sara Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Most of them actually grew up and are in happy relationships. I bet I wouldn't have half the baggage I do if I played around until I met my current wife. If I could do it over again this would be my first marriage. I was reflecting on the guy friends I've had that were members of the ONS group. I never said they can't one day find a relationship and learn how to be good at sex through it. But while they're catting around? The reputation they thought they had of being real ladies men was all in their heads! I always wondered why they wanted a bunch of women running around knowing they couldn't last more than 5 minutes and pissed off enough to share the info.
East7 Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 The irony of life is that we have the wisdom when we less need it. (I'm not saying wisdom is needless later in life but we could have saved ourselves a lot of poor relationships). No one teaches you the relationships, except some silly advices you get here and there from "expert" friends. You mostly learn from your own mistakes. I have swore myself when I'll have a son and he will be in the high school I will teach him everything I know about women! I'll be his relationship personal coach, Doc Love daddy (hoping he accepts)
Author Woggle Posted February 15, 2011 Author Posted February 15, 2011 I was reflecting on the guy friends I've had that were members of the ONS group. I never said they can't one day find a relationship and learn how to be good at sex through it. But while they're catting around? The reputation they thought they had of being real ladies men was all in their heads! I always wondered why they wanted a bunch of women running around knowing they couldn't last more than 5 minutes and pissed off enough to share the info. This is true for some but most men I know who sleep around have reputations of being demons in bed. My friend who is seeing a married woman has been told that sex with him is like a religious experience. Come to think of it he is actually a good example of why a man should play around in his youth. He was always a nice man who treated women with respect and was a one woman man until he got cheated on three times in a row and is now sleeping with married women. On the other hand I went to a friend's wedding two years ago who seemed to take a different woman home every week and him and his wife are very happy. He waited for the right one.
Recommended Posts