Her life is a trainwreck but I cant stop thinking about her

[ayjt80]

i broke up about 2 months ago. in fact shes the one that called it off. Now I cant stop thinking about her eventho the logical side of me is saying it was a good idea. She was abused growing up in more than one way, she lead a very promiscuous lifestyle in her 20's along with alcohol abuse. im 30 shes 34. Anyway you look at it, she has some serious baggage. this is a situation that you run from. Yet i miss her so much. whats wrong with me????

[carhill]

You miss the drama and being her savior. BTDT.

 

If you were right for each other, you'd still be together and this thread wouldn't exist.

 

My sympathies. It took therapy for me to 'get over' my unhealthy attachment to such people. If this is a repetitive cycle for you, consider it. Good luck

[smudge21]

You probably feel like you should be with her as YOU and YOU ALONE can SAVE HER!!! Then once that's done, she'll be with you forever. Sadly you can only save those who want saving, and clearly she's not ready for that just yet. But in the meantime you have to try and move on (easier said then done, I know).

 

Eventually, when you're over her, you can maybe be there as friend and still offer her the advice and help she needs. But for now, you have to let her find her own way. Maybe in time she will miss you and get in touch - then that will be your chance to offer her the help by being honest with her.

[depplover_1980]

It is ok to still care for people but not be able to sustain a relationship with them, so how you feel is normal.

[TheKnife]

You care for her and are worried about her but you are also attracted to tragic stories and people that need fixing. However, you cannot be her savior. You would actually be doing her a disservice. Real change and improvement has to come from within, so if she's not taking action to improve her life, you most certainly cannot do it for her. You will only end up hurt.