dietpepsi Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Dumpees, just a little friendly reminder, just make it through today. I made this mistake last year, and boy did I regret it. This year... not happening!! If they miss you, they will contact you, if they don't contact you, you have to buck up and keep moving on, it's only 1 silly day. If you are actively wanting to get back together with your ex, you can't screw anything up with NC, however you can by sending flowers,texting, sending sappy emails (we have all been guilty at one point haha) but this has to be a no-no ok? You'll respect yourself, and your ex love will respect you just the same. You'll probably even catch cool points for being so mature about it all, perhaps even strike up a little curiosity I don't come here much anymore, but this place helped me quite a bit last year, maybe I can return the favor by sharing what I've learned. Be good!
joshislost Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Agreed! Everyone have a great day with friends and family, they truly love you! Oh and my vday will be spent at the gym and on LS lol.
rajcs25 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 How does it matter if we break NC for this one day?
depplover_1980 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 VT is a s h i t t y little day anyway. Even when I've had partners I saw it for the corporate waste of money it really is! If you need one day to treat your partner then you are not doing a good enough job in the relationship. Do something really special/surprise them at least once a month and at a time when things don't cost you double the normal price! Rant over.
Author dietpepsi Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 How does it matter if we break NC for this one day? It definitely does matter. Would you break NC if this was a normal Monday? Why should Vday be any different? It's not a death in the family, or a birthday, it's best to just leave it alone. You're not "being a jerk" by not doing anything for them today, if they broke it off and wished to not be with you anymore, this is part of that, you have to think about you and not them. Breaking NC today is an "excuse" to do so. You lose nothing by sticking to NC but you stand to lose something by giving in and making contact. Your ex isn't just going to magically say "aww thats sweet, lets hang out again" just because you sent flowers, chocolates or a heartfelt letter/email on Valentine's Day. If you have feelings for them still, chances are they already know this, there is no need to remind them, if anything they will think you aren't getting the message and it's kinda sad that you are still trying so hard. This is the harsh reality, romance has been severely distorted by many romantic comedies over time haha. No one thinks clearly about ex-relationships, your mind is foggy, ran by emotions, its so easy to make costly mistakes on a day like this. I know this to be very true. I'm just trying to give some friendly advice to those that may be looking for it. You can do yourself a huge favor by resisting the urge!
Trovador Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Funny thing is I didn't remember this was a kind of special day! Anyway, thanks for the remainder, I won't do anything I surely would be embarrassed about it later...! Happy Valentines to all (without them, of course)!
rajcs25 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I understand that two things could happen Higher Chance : She will say , who are you now? Lower Chance: Oh that's so sweet What do we have to loose/gain in either case? It definitely does matter. Would you break NC if this was a normal Monday? Why should Vday be any different? It's not a death in the family, or a birthday, it's best to just leave it alone. You're not "being a jerk" by not doing anything for them today, if they broke it off and wished to not be with you anymore, this is part of that, you have to think about you and not them. Breaking NC today is an "excuse" to do so. You lose nothing by sticking to NC but you stand to lose something by giving in and making contact. Your ex isn't just going to magically say "aww thats sweet, lets hang out again" just because you sent flowers, chocolates or a heartfelt letter/email on Valentine's Day. If you have feelings for them still, chances are they already know this, there is no need to remind them, if anything they will think you aren't getting the message and it's kinda sad that you are still trying so hard. This is the harsh reality, romance has been severely distorted by many romantic comedies over time haha. No one thinks clearly about ex-relationships, your mind is foggy, ran by emotions, its so easy to make costly mistakes on a day like this. I know this to be very true. I'm just trying to give some friendly advice to those that may be looking for it. You can do yourself a huge favor by resisting the urge!
Author dietpepsi Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 I understand that two things could happen Higher Chance : She will say , who are you now? Lower Chance: Oh that's so sweet What do we have to loose/gain in either case? it's sweet when you are his/her love interest, but It can really set you back when are you disappointed when reality hits if you are not. If you are in NC already, there is no point to do anything on Valentine's day, you'll find yourself wound up hurt. If you are not in NC, then i guess this really doesn't apply to you and you probably at least have a friendlier type of relationship, I'm not really sure what answer you are looking for.
9Lives Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 It definitely does matter. Would you break NC if this was a normal Monday? Why should Vday be any different? It's not a death in the family, or a birthday, it's best to just leave it alone. You're not "being a jerk" by not doing anything for them today, if they broke it off and wished to not be with you anymore, this is part of that, you have to think about you and not them. Breaking NC today is an "excuse" to do so. You lose nothing by sticking to NC but you stand to lose something by giving in and making contact. Your ex isn't just going to magically say "aww thats sweet, lets hang out again" just because you sent flowers, chocolates or a heartfelt letter/email on Valentine's Day. If you have feelings for them still, chances are they already know this, there is no need to remind them, if anything they will think you aren't getting the message and it's kinda sad that you are still trying so hard. This is the harsh reality, romance has been severely distorted by many romantic comedies over time haha. No one thinks clearly about ex-relationships, your mind is foggy, ran by emotions, its so easy to make costly mistakes on a day like this. I know this to be very true. I'm just trying to give some friendly advice to those that may be looking for it. You can do yourself a huge favor by resisting the urge! I agree with this 100%! If you are the dumpee, then you need to resist the urge to make a ass out of yourself by reaching out to someone who is not showing you any love. I been thinking about him all day long and chances are, he probably thinks I might make contact with him,, but that is not going to happen. He contacted me on Friday and Sat thats that. Im not gonna get my feelings hurt. I already feel a little salty. But Im having a good day.
MidnightinMadrid Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 It definitely does matter. Would you break NC if this was a normal Monday? Why should Vday be any different? It's not a death in the family, or a birthday, it's best to just leave it alone. You're not "being a jerk" by not doing anything for them today, if they broke it off and wished to not be with you anymore, this is part of that, you have to think about you and not them. Breaking NC today is an "excuse" to do so. You lose nothing by sticking to NC but you stand to lose something by giving in and making contact. Your ex isn't just going to magically say "aww thats sweet, lets hang out again" just because you sent flowers, chocolates or a heartfelt letter/email on Valentine's Day. If you have feelings for them still, chances are they already know this, there is no need to remind them, if anything they will think you aren't getting the message and it's kinda sad that you are still trying so hard. This is the harsh reality, romance has been severely distorted by many romantic comedies over time haha. No one thinks clearly about ex-relationships, your mind is foggy, ran by emotions, its so easy to make costly mistakes on a day like this. I know this to be very true. I'm just trying to give some friendly advice to those that may be looking for it. You can do yourself a huge favor by resisting the urge! Hi Dietpepsi,(with a dash of Capt.Morgan:) Thanks for this thread we all need to hear it,although i wouldnt be foolish enough to break NC on a day as today. I broke it mid January,and he hasnt responded,so I wont be dumb to do the same mistake twice. The fact that I broke NC,which just to say hello after he ignored me before,i cant stop kicking myself! Then the sane part of myself says why beat yourself youre a good person,that jerk didnt have to ignore you. It has gotten to the point that he feels comfortable doing so-however I didnt bombard him with calls or e-mails,I try to reach out every two months,never again! Still.How do i quit blaming myself for doing something simple as reaching out? Valentines Day shouldnt be just for thinking of the ex,it is to celebrate people who means alot to you. I'm sure our parents,close dear,(not flaky) friends would love to hear a Happy valentine cheer,why waste it on an uncaring indifferent ex eh? Thats just me.
broken-and-lost Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 too late did make an ass of myself and got the i love you but not in love with you be warned NC NC forever and **** second chances tired of this **** want my life back rant over
Author dietpepsi Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 too late did make an ass of myself and got the i love you but not in love with you be warned NC NC forever and **** second chances tired of this **** want my life back rant over hang in there
willpower Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 too late did make an ass of myself and got the i love you but not in love with you be warned NC NC forever and **** second chances tired of this **** want my life back rant over Great opportunity from dietpepsi here to remind ourselves what NC is all about. The goal of NC is not ultimately to win them back (though in some cases the vacuum created by it may draw them back in). The goal of NC is to aid in the self healing process, so in this case lets say you break NC and then get no response, or a "thanks, I'm just off for dinner then a night between my new BF's velvet bedsheets". That has significant potential to destroy the healing process and set you back weeks. So from that point of view then NC is essential. If you are not going to be bothered that they are having a lovely time with their new partner then your probably not in NC anyway and more to the point you would not feel the need to message them on this day any more than you'd wish your same sex freinds happy V day. I just pushed a PB out on bench and power clean. "Blue skies are coming, but I know that its hard" - Noah and the whale, Blue skies. Stick in their ppl, we can all come out the other side here. Its going to take time and a willingness to get through it. Stay strong!
thisguyagain Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I caved. Why did I do that? I e-mailed her today, and I got the most impersonal response. It broke me yet again, and long weeks of hard work have come crumbling down. The thoughts of them pending Valentines together. Her forgetting about me. Me here, alone, on Valentines night. Not even an 'I love you but I can't be with you' this time. What have I become? I was such a strong guy before, but now I'm in ruins again. She's the only person I've ever let in and she tore me apart, and now she's back with her ex. I feel so inferior it's unreal. The only positive thing is that I do know I will get through this, even if it doesn't seem like it. And I will come out a stronger person. But what an expensive f*cking lesson this has been. Even if you're telling yourself 'It won't hurt to wish them Happy Valentines', it will. And you'll start from square one again. Don't do it. I need to get over this sense of rejection, pain and feeling like the lowest person on earth. I need to be me again, and I need to forget she ever happened. Bah, rant over. Sorry guys! Be nice to me, I'm new!
justletgox51 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 It was my ex-boyfriend’s birthday today (yeap, pretty cool to have a birthday on Valentines day -.- ) and I completely ignored him today at school since we both go to the same school together. Some people have told me to just greet him because it’ll give him a message that I still have a heart (and I do) and others have told me to listen to my mind this time and not my heart. I took the road of listening to my mind because I realize that whenever I listen to my heart, I’d get hurt and get back to square one. I had so many chances to greet him really, we kept passing by each other but there was at least one party with us. For example, I’d see him hall-walking alone but I would be with someone, and sometime today he saw me alone but he was with someone. And of course, I don’t want to be rude and impolitely ruin their conversation. Plus, I just knew that if I do greet him a happy birthday, he might simply make me look like a fool by letting people know that I greeted him and how stupid I am for doing so. Or he might just ignore it and I would feel bad about it. Or I’d say, “Happy birthday” but I just know it won’t stop from there because I’m the type who would make the conversation longer. So, basically we passed by each other a lot of times today, and total NC as it has always been for a month and 20 days. Anyway, yeah… It’s just a few more hours since this phase will pass by.
gator12 Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 Fact is you wouldn't break NC any other dayof the year, so why V-day. It's not special, it has no magical powers it won't make them miss you and want you back. The only thing to do on this day is enjoy it and stay out of contact. You not contacting them will have more effect than you contacting them this day, I promise you that. Contact will only leave you hurt and will set you back on both healing and possible reconciliation. No they won't have a change of heart, no they won't come running back. They will do all of these things ON THEIR OWN if the love was really real. Until then you have nothing and I mean Nothing to say to them. Stay strong, stay happy. Go out and grab a beer with friends, or spend a night with family. Life only gets better guys -Gator
MidnightinMadrid Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 I caved. Why did I do that? I e-mailed her today, and I got the most impersonal response. It broke me yet again, and long weeks of hard work have come crumbling down. The thoughts of them pending Valentines together. Her forgetting about me. Me here, alone, on Valentines night. Not even an 'I love you but I can't be with you' this time. What have I become? I was such a strong guy before, but now I'm in ruins again. She's the only person I've ever let in and she tore me apart, and now she's back with her ex. I feel so inferior it's unreal. The only positive thing is that I do know I will get through this, even if it doesn't seem like it. And I will come out a stronger person. But what an expensive f*cking lesson this has been. Even if you're telling yourself 'It won't hurt to wish them Happy Valentines', it will. And you'll start from square one again. Don't do it. I need to get over this sense of rejection, pain and feeling like the lowest person on earth. I need to be me again, and I need to forget she ever happened. Bah, rant over. Sorry guys! Be nice to me, I'm new! How long was it since your break-up? Youre worse than I am kicking yourself for contact,I didnt do it on V-day but still it doesnt make it better. Stay strong and yes it will hurt you wishing them Happy anything,it will hurt you,me and anyone who is in the same shoes. since youre a new one,here's for you,thats all they have here. It will get better.
EmperorR Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 they probably have someone new, dont contact, I did this once years ago and she was going out for dinner with a "friend"
Trovador Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 Well done mates! (and myself) For some was easy, for some others hard, but at the day's end we showed ourselves that we really care for ourselves, we don't want to be hurt AGAIN and that's a step forward in the right direction... A day at a time...
cloudstoday Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 Didn't break it either. Wanted to, thought about it all day, especially when everyone on campus seemed to be kissing someone. But I didn't, I read my cynical book and wrinkled my nose at the flowers everywhere and made it to now. night all, Happy After Vday
D78 Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 High fives to all of you who didn't contact your exs. Hugs to all of you who did. We all survived, right?
0hpenelope Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 The goal of NC is to aid in the self healing process, so in this case lets say you break NC and then get no response, or a "thanks, I'm just off for dinner then a night between my new BF's velvet bedsheets". That has significant potential to destroy the healing process and set you back weeks. So from that point of view then NC is essential. Velvet bedsheets, really?
Am4Real Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 :lmao: Velvet bedsheets, really? It made me cringe as well!!! ;-)
marqueemoon4 Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 i made it through.. no way in hell I was going to contact her. good riddance.
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