Johnnyboy24 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I'd just like to start by saying that I've never used anything like this to help me through a problem and I really hope you can help me Ok here goes.... I've been with my fiancée for just over 3 years. On Saturday night she went out drinking for a friends birthday and got as she says "the most drunk she's ever been"! She calls me the next morning to start explaining the situation which developed throughout the day in the following stages At first her and her two friend (who are a couple) went back to a guys house for a party Then it wasn't a party it was just the four of them Then she kissed said guy but it was a peck in the car on the way to his Then it was "maybe one or two" kisses at his house And the final story was that all four of them left went back to his house, her and her friends fell out because she was being an idiot so they left, gf started to make out with him on his bed, realised what was going on, rang her friends and then left. She has been what can only be described as hysterical when I told her I am leaving her. She says that the reason the whole story didn't come out straight away was because she wanted to make it seem better than it would sound if she told me the whole truth straight away. From her reactions I would say that she is genuinely sorry but I can't help but feel as though the whole truth may not be out. I love her not than anything and I want to give her a second chance but it just seems morally wrong to do so. I should probably mention that said guy and her went on a couple of dates before we got together around four years or so ago and that nothing came of it, nothing sexual anyway. And that he has a bit of a reputation for creeping around peoples girlfriends where we live. I'm happy to answer any questions and I'm sorry this is such an essay but I really need some advice Thank you
PegNosePete Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 She says that the reason the whole story didn't come out straight away was because she wanted to make it seem better than it would sound if she told me the whole truth straight away. Yep... that's what they often do. And the problem with that "plan" is that it leaves you wondering what else she is not telling you. It's also a form of manipulation. It is extremely likely that she did much more than just kiss this guy. Drunk, alone, kissing this guy who she used to date on his bed? Sorry to say dude... you are definitely not getting the full story. She called her friends and left... what did they do in the time it took her friends to arrive? Her story has more holes than Swiss cheese. What is she doing (not just saying) to regain your trust? If you took her back then what consequences has she suffered for her actions, and what is to prevent her doing it again? To be honest she sounds crazy and immature.
Chi townD Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Agreed, it was probably more. You don't just make out in someones bed. Plus, she may use the excuse that she was drunk, didn't know what she was doing. Don't fall for that crap. She knew what she was doing.
depplover_1980 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 As a former drunk I can confirm you can indeed get yourself into all sorts of messes if you've consumed enough alcohol. Obviously she tried to cover for herself afterwards, which rubs salt in the wounds. I would say hear her out. Only you know how much you love her. But she has to take steps to reassure you and control her drinking, perhaps a few boundary rules so you can build back up what you had, because you will have to start again.
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