flow15 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I'm currently trying to get over my ex who broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. However, if any of you have read my stories, you'll see that 3 weeks ago we 'tried again' for a day, after having been apart since August. He ended it again as he can't be in a relationship. Anyway, I met a guy soon after the break up and he asked me out on a date and I agreed to go out with him as he seemed like a nice guy and was good looking. So I went out with him on Friday. I thought it might be a bit too soon, but seeing as my ex doesnt want me and I've been miserable for so long, I thought going on this date would be a good distraction, and some fun! I had a good time on the date, we talked a lot and we had a laugh, and the guy is good looking... but I just didnt feel any chemistry or sexual attraction for him like I did for my ex. When I first met my ex the connection was instant, and I had a strong attraction for him. At the end of the date this guy kissed me, which I was not ready for at all, and I didnt enjoy it because of this. Afterwards, it just made me miss my ex so much. Since the date on friday, this guy hasnt stopped messaging me, and for me hes appearing abit too wussy, needy, etc... my ex was not any of these. He was a man, and even though he pursued me at the beginning of our relationship, he didnt appear so desperate. MAybe I am just comparing the two a little bit too much, but I can't help it. Maybe I'm just not ready to date untill I'm completely over my ex, but what if I never get over him? I've already agreed to go on a second date with this guy. Do you think its a good idea I go on this second date if I'm not 100% interested, or should I just go to give him another chance and confirm my attraction levels, etc. Sorry this has gotten long, and I would appreciate anyones thoughts and opinions on this. Thanks!
Dante311 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 OP - as I've learned in the past... twice... take this time for yourself. It's not fair to this new guy. Regardless of how you feel about this new guy, you clearly have feelings for your current ex. I could go on and on and on... but the best thing you can do for yourself right now is cut the ex out (no contact) and prepare yourself for you for a better you and a better tomorrow. and stop seeing new guy. you're going to end up subconsciously being selfish, sorry, and hurting him.
bayouboi Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Do him a favor and end it before he gets too invested. I'm not blaming you, but you shouldn't date until you're over your ex imo. Go out with your girlfriends or something.
Author flow15 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 So should i cancel the second date? What if i end up missing out... dont they say the best way to get over someone is to meet someone else??
bayouboi Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 So should i cancel the second date? What if i end up missing out... dont they say the best way to get over someone is to meet someone else?? He is the only one missing out on anything. He's missing out on being with someone who is ready for a relationship. As for getting over someone by getting with someone else, if that's how you feel, then find someone who's up for some no strings fun because this guy sounds like someone who's looking for something more.
Cracker Jack Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I also believe you shouldn't continue to see this other guy. It's clear you're going to constantly compare his "cons" to your ex's "pros", and you'll most likely find yourself being even more turned off by the guy the more you see him. I think it'll be for the best that you just focus on yourself and not force attraction when it's clearly not there.
Author flow15 Posted February 15, 2011 Author Posted February 15, 2011 Ok, I'll guess I will cancel with this guy then. Whats the best way to let someone down gently? Should I tell him that I've just come out of a serious relationship and I'm not ready for meeting up with him?
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