betterdeal Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I split up with the last woman I was involved with several months ago. However, since then we've met up maybe once a month. It was a very difficult relationship with both of us dealing with past baggage and present stress. After about a month, I feel pretty much on an even keel. I miss her, sure, and fantasise about her, especially about 3 weeks after contact, but I never initiate contact. Then we meet, and the cycle starts again. I'm in a lot better position these days. I drink moderately, have been through counselling, eat better, sleep better, am more self-aware, not angry or tense. I'm close to having finished the massage therapy course I started in September and am looking forward to starting a new career. She's also progressed, by the sound of things. However, when we meet, there's still tension there between us. I don't know what she wants from me. The night will start friendly, we'll discuss life, share jokes, laugh and make lots of eye contact, but by the end we're awkward and get ratty with one another. Before I dated her I hadn't been with anyone for years. I had a physical injury to my penis that I had mentally blocked out for years, and had basically avoided sex for the best part of 13 years. I've had that corrected, and am enjoying self-love without pain, but I can imagine how frustrating it must have been for her to be seeing a guy who shied away from sex. I sent her flowers for Valentines. I feel a bit nervous about it because when we do meet, the things I don't like about her are still there - she's too impulsive for me (she once decided to **** a guy in the toilets when she was on a first date with another guy), a former heroin user, and she sees the world as victims and perpetrators, black and white, good and evil. She's also extremely jealous of me spending any time with any other women, whilst at the same time, she has almost no female friends, lots of male friends and is still a huge flirt (okay, so was I). I like to take things slowly. She likes to be in a rush to do everything at once. People tell me she's trouble, and I agree. But I also know her kinder, nicer side, the fact that she helped me realise so much about myself, and I hate to dismiss people. We're both emotionally unstable and recovering from past abuse and turmoil in our lives. Anyone here experienced a similarly messy situation and do you have any tips for progressing from this state of limbo?
PegNosePete Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 do you have any tips for progressing from this state of limbo? Yes. STOP THAT SH*T. You're split up. Move on dude. NC NC NC
Author betterdeal Posted March 7, 2011 Author Posted March 7, 2011 Just a quick update. Not been in touch with Eve (not real name) since I last posted. It feels good. Damn good. All the vital signs are showing improvement: debt & weight dropping; good night's sleep, general liveliness; self-esteem up.
Mcnulty Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 Yep, you should go NC, not good for either of you meeting up and staying in contact...eventually either party will find a partner...then what? Stick to NC definitely
Author betterdeal Posted March 8, 2011 Author Posted March 8, 2011 Yeah, I am bored of her. I hope she finds a way to live that makes her happy. That's all that life is about, in my opinion.
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