Delwyn Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I know what I've done so far, and what I intend to do... But I'm going insane and I am trying to see how deluded I might be or how brave or whatever... What would you do if your wife cheated on you, then told you after two weeks of her sneaking behind your back and then no cheating for two weeks as you try to pick up the pieces...then she asks for a short seperation to get her head clear and cheats on you again, going so far as to have an MFM threesome with two other guys , which she consented to while sober but had to get blind drunk to go thru with, and then since that time has been completely faithful to you and remorseful for more than half a year, but you just found out about the threesome a couple months ago after you already forgave her for cheating and have been trying to make things work for the sake of the kids? And you can't afford to divorce her because you've mounting debt and four kids and the other guys are in no way in the picture at all, and she's so remorseful and loving, and you might still love her, but can't get the disgusting thoughts of her threesome from your mind and it makes you physically ill when you think of it? 1
PegNosePete Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 What would you do if your wife cheated on you The rest is irrelevant. I would divorce her. 1
cyabye Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 The rest is irrelevant. I would divorce her. Agreed. This will make you go crazy if you do not divorce her. You will never think more of her than her actions. cya
lkjh Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I remember your other post. It seems like she is a cake eater. Imagine what else she hasn't told you
RobD70 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 And you can't afford to divorce her because you've mounting debt and... This reminds me of a joke. You know why divorce is so expensive? Because it's worth it. I think I would file for bankruptcy before staying with a wife like that.
Binster Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Got to admit for that amount of betrayal I would be wanting a D. Its not just the sex or the lying it's the thought of what she hasn't told you or what she might do next time.You can't watch over her 24/7 there has to be some trust and it seems to me it's going to take a long time to get that back (if ever). As for money maybe if your wife got a job that would help (read your other thread) to get enough money for divorce or counciling depending on which way you go.
bentnotbroken Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 damn. woman like this must be killed with her genital broken. Abuse isn't an answer to anything. Stop acting like off let me gogo.
Pawi Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 As a WS I think part of the problem is that in some A's the WS steps so far outside of the marriage that it becomes irrelevant to them. Their actions cease (in their mind) to exist as part of a marital system and they are thinking only of themselves. When this is broken down the truth comes out in pieces and it's not necessarily not given fully out of a continued desire to lie but out of fear of losing everything all at once. If you continue to love her, you feel that her remorse and love is sincere and that both of you are willing to work on your marriage then I see no reason to not make an attempt out of it. If in a certain period of trying you feel no more trust and no better about things then it's time to go. Your life will continue with or without her and the financial pain of going is likely no worse then emotional pain of staying.
Wilie Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I would seriously leave.. Think about it in reverse, who she stay with you in same situation? There is your answer...
TigerCub Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I know what I've done so far, and what I intend to do... But I'm going insane and I am trying to see how deluded I might be or how brave or whatever... What would you do if your wife cheated on you, then told you after two weeks of her sneaking behind your back and then no cheating for two weeks as you try to pick up the pieces...then she asks for a short seperation to get her head clear and cheats on you again, going so far as to have an MFM threesome with two other guys , which she consented to while sober but had to get blind drunk to go thru with, and then since that time has been completely faithful to you and remorseful for more than half a year, but you just found out about the threesome a couple months ago after you already forgave her for cheating and have been trying to make things work for the sake of the kids? And you can't afford to divorce her because you've mounting debt and four kids and the other guys are in no way in the picture at all, and she's so remorseful and loving, and you might still love her, but can't get the disgusting thoughts of her threesome from your mind and it makes you physically ill when you think of it? Personally, I wouldn't keep them after the first cheat. But you kept her - what do you think would make her stop cheating on you, if there are no consequences? I do have a question though - if you guys were separated and she slept with other people, is that really cheating? I honestly don't know what your arrangement was? But were you guys clear on the rules of your separation? However, that whole excuse about needing to get drunk to go through with it, and blah blah is just bulls**t. I wouldn't keep someone like that, mainly because of the lying, that all of a sudden after time has passed, this story comes out?! how can you trust someone like that? BTW- how did you end up knowing about her threesome adventure? The pictures are gonna stay in your mind, and if you can't get past that, then staying for the kids - is actually going to work against those kids. Sorry you had to go through all that crap.
seibert253 Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 I ended up R with my FWW. But there were in my mind certain things, (group sex with other dudes being one of them), that were a straight road to D. No ifs, ands, buts, or detours. Certain things I was willing to work with and through. Others were a direct dealbreaker. I was also one paycheck from bankruptcy when this happened, but that didn't matter.
macgyver359 Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 I would get sick, looking at her. I would stare at her mouth and think about, all the d**k that she sucked on, just the one night of the gang-bang . Not to mention if I smell something on her breath. She comes home tells you she loves you, then kisses you with her sticky lips that night. I would never ever let her see me again. One guy affair, the grass was greener maybe. Not a 3 way or more (she is not being truth full still, and you know it). I get sick just thinking about it. You need to tell her parents about this one. I could not stand a secret like this in a family. If I were you, I would divorce her now, but as a present on the last day of court. I would get her a (take a number reel), with some ads for her services. 1
Gman95670 Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Sounds like she is (or has) gone through a phase. She was curious about what it would be like to have multiple partners. She probably thought being separated made having a threesome semi-okay. I suggest continuing to have a one-on-one discussion with her. Did she really get it out of her system? Is this a deal breaker for you? If you don't think you can ever accept what she is done, it's time to move on and don't waste hers or your time hanging on to something that will drag you both down. If you feel you can live with what she has done, than get over it - now!
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