EmptyPromises Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I have been seeing this guy on and off for about 3 years. He doesnt have alot of money and I think the most I've gotten from him was a beaded bracelet. He's gotten me flowers before, but just to say he was sorry (ha). Three weeks ago was my birthday and he didnt get me anything, nor did he come visit me. I made it known I was upset about that, not about the gift, just the fact that he didnt make me feel special on my birthday. A week ago, I ordered him something small, something i knew he would like. He loves the yankees and he loves baseball caps so i got him a really nice hat for 40 dollars. I knew he would like that better than a sappy card or candy.Last night, he told me he didnt get me anything. His reason "Do you really think I would mail you something?". I got so upset with him I hung up on him. I dont understand why he cant ever think to make me feel special? A card? Flowers?Its not the items I care about its just the principle. ugh.
Waitress Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Hey there. I don't know your situation but why are you still on and off seeing a guy who makes you feel so bad? There are guys out there just looking to spoil a special woman.
Saphira Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Hey there. I don't know your situation but why are you still on and off seeing a guy who makes you feel so bad? There are guys out there just looking to spoil a special woman. thats true. and there really isnt a reason for him not doing anything. wht does he mean by. not mailing you anything? do you not live close together? are you in different states? and i dont see anything wrong with a card being mailed or even having flowers delivered. and if he doesnt have money he can always visit. and do something special at home or something. make you a nice dinner or just spend time with you. if you have been "on-off" for three years it may be a sign that its not working. and if you are having a big problem with it, dont get mad and hang up the phone. tell him how you feel, explain it. and if he doesnt listen or just says something stupid like i didnt want to mail it. then tell him whats going to happen. (break up, or he needs to work on that.)
Cee Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Not visiting you on your birthday sounds terrible to me. There's no excuse for this. Even if he had to work 12 hours that day, he still can call or visit you the next time he's free. I don't know your whole story, but you might want to take an inventory of your relationship over the past 3 years. Has he really been a boyfriend or treated you as a convenience for his needs?
SingVoice Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 3 years and he didn't even spend your birthday with you? Ask yourself this...can you deal with that for the rest of your life??? You have 2 choices...either confront him about it...or dump him. There is no excuse. If a man cares about you he does things for you to make you feel special....end of story.
Lilmisus Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I have been seeing this guy on and off for about 3 years. He doesnt have alot of money and I think the most I've gotten from him was a beaded bracelet. He's gotten me flowers before, but just to say he was sorry (ha). Three weeks ago was my birthday and he didnt get me anything, nor did he come visit me. I made it known I was upset about that, not about the gift, just the fact that he didnt make me feel special on my birthday. A week ago, I ordered him something small, something i knew he would like. He loves the yankees and he loves baseball caps so i got him a really nice hat for 40 dollars. I knew he would like that better than a sappy card or candy.Last night, he told me he didnt get me anything. His reason "Do you really think I would mail you something?". I got so upset with him I hung up on him. I dont understand why he cant ever think to make me feel special? A card? Flowers?Its not the items I care about its just the principle. ugh. God, I know how you feel exactly. For my birthday my boyfriend "forgot it" and didn't even try to make it up to me, along with a few other holiday disasters. So, I'll tell you the advice that some people told me. Some guys aren't the gift giving type, and it seems like you're boyfriend is in that category. Either that, or he's been financially unstable for the past three years and hasn't been able to afford anything - which still, he can make something, easily. But some guys show their affection in different ways. Some ways are: gift giving, verbally expressing their feelings, doing the simple things around the house to make things easier on you, spending time together when you can, giving you the time and attention you need, etc. If he is doing multiple other things to make you know and see that his feelings for you are true, then you have to ask yourself if gift giving is that important to you or not. If he's not doing anything to show his appreciation for you though, then he's really just not that into you as you think or hope he is and you need to end this three year relationship and find someone who is willing to prove their love for you.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 You don't need to confront him, you just need to dump him. Three years is equivalent to 1095 days, wasted with a guy who didn't care about you. Other people spend that amount of time finishing college, getting promotions, and/ meeting new people who actually rocks their world. If you plan to spend another 3 years with him be sure to know that he's probably not going to change.
Author EmptyPromises Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Thank u for all the replies. I actually told him I don't want to be with him anymore last night after all this. I just think its messed up how he knew I was upset for my birthday and didn't even think to send me anything to make up for that for valentines day how do you not think to get anything for your girlfriend for both her birthday and valentines day? He said valentines day is stupid and a fake holiday. I didn't get him anything major but I did put some thought into it. I had to get his sister to find out his hat size and even got his initials engraved into the hat. We liv e close to eachother at home but he's away at school til may a few hours away.It would be nice to feel special once in awhile..is that asking for too much?
Author EmptyPromises Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 On top of that, I'm broke myself! But I still put aside a little money to make him smile!
Lilmisus Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 My professor mentioned this in class as an example. He said: "If a guy doesn't like the girl he's with, he wont spend any money on her. It's like "Oh! I don't really like her, so why spend all my money? If I do, I'm investing in a relationship I don't really care about. If I spend thousands of dollars on her, then I must like her a lot, but I don't, so I won't spend the money" He named another example, which I forget, but he asked the class which one would make the guy's girlfriend break up with him if that's what he was going after and he didn't want to do the breaking up. Everyone in the class agreed not buying her a gift for her birthday would be the guy's best bet to make his girl dump him. Sad thought, especially since, like I said, I've been in your spot before, but it could be his reason, in which case, you're ten times better off without this guy.
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 It would be nice to feel special once in awhile..is that asking for too much? From him, it is clearly too much for him to take your feelings into consideration or treat you with love and respect. He isn't going to change, so you have a choice: continue staying with someone who is always going to be this way or move on and rebuild your head and heart so that you will be ready to be with someone who will treat you to the love and respect you need.
Recommended Posts